Ten Things the Door Guy Hates About You

Your Weak Game
With some people, flattery will get you everywhere, but your flirting will not get you in the door. The Door Guy knows what game you're running. Explore your issues. You can be a whole person.

Your Blind Rage
A) If you cannot go out in public without getting in a fight, be it physical or just screaming at someone, you are either choosing to be an asshole, or are one by nature. B) If you cannot go out in public without sexually harassing someone, you are either choosing to be an asshole, or are one by nature. Explore your issues. You can be a whole person.

doorguy1000.jpg
Photo by Erik Hess
If we let you in the door looking like this, be nice to us.

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22 comments
mainsheetmeric
mainsheetmeric

You forgot acting insulted or put-out when asked to get out your ID, and then arguing about it.

Paula Williams
Paula Williams

I wouldn't let any of the losers in that picture in

Mark Enloe
Mark Enloe

Can think of a few more, but pretty good

scrumly1
scrumly1

Also to people commenting with pictures, you do realize that most industry people I know have read this and now have faces to memorize.  Good luck with that....

scrumly1
scrumly1

In the bar industry it's not "The customer is always right", It's more "The customer is not only wrong, but an asshole and drunk as well"  Most staff that is not actually serving drinks is there to make sure you have a safe and clean time.  Not be your friend, get you a deal, or take your abuse.  Be polite, don't hassle the staff(service or otherwise), pay for your drinks, and don't fight. or in short 'Don't be a dick"  

Benjamin A. Snow
Benjamin A. Snow

ANd of course, you got people here saying crap like "this dude need to get over himself". Gotta love entitled people tho

Christopher Dugas
Christopher Dugas

Fantastic. Except there's one thing he forgot to mention: the "I just printed this $20 out today, it's totally fake!" joke every fucker paying a cover charge makes.

Justin Curia
Justin Curia

guys like james, adrian, josh--what sort of utopia do you live in that cynicism can't penetrate? the rest of us are in the shitty midwest, where laughing at the general public is an intrinsic pastime.

Joshua Steinmetz
Joshua Steinmetz

The door guy doesn't have a job without those people, he should be a little more humble.

rickythunder
rickythunder

The same sort of loser reads it and then comments how lame it is?

Daniel Sexauer
Daniel Sexauer

I guess "Your Stinginess" would cover one of those areas, except the description is only about bartenders

Terrence
Terrence

What sort of insecure loser cares, much less would read a list, about what the "door guy" thinks? Or the waiter. Or the bartender. Or the chef. Or any of the other subjects of these asinine lists for that matter? Sure, be polite and not obnoxious, but y'all seem to be angling for the role of downmarket Miss Manners for the hipster set. It's lame, and kinda creepy. 

Adrian Gandara
Adrian Gandara

Why, when your mother is always dripping like a faucet?

Daniel Sexauer
Daniel Sexauer

As a doorguy, this is missing some big ones. ID's/Cash in bras and Haggling/complaining about cover off the top of my head

Adrian Gandara
Adrian Gandara

Fuck what a door guy thinks! If anyone gave a fuck about what he thought he wouldn't be THE DOOR GUY! Haha! Shut the fuck up, check the ID and keep it moving! SMDH!

Berk Lee Jay
Berk Lee Jay

how about the classic "oh well I know the owner" or " come on I'm only going to have one drink and leave"

James Daegele
James Daegele

last i checked the doorguy is in the service industry and therefore should be prepared for all of these.

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