Six Ways to Ruin Everyone's Lives with Karaoke
2. Sing Any Song Over 7 Minutes That Isn't "Bat Out of Hell" by Meatloaf
Certainly the most powerful weapon in your arsenal of being a dickhead is to play into the one thing that we as humans are all afraid of -- running out of time. If you ever wanted to take your Guitar Hero skills to the next level and sing Metallica's "One," what better place to do it than in a room full of impatient drunken strangers? Is there a way you can perhaps sing the fret-board-tapping solo for us as well?
Do not ever put on a lengthy tune unless you are prepared to do a flawless version of Meatloaf's "Bat Out of Hell." The only other exception, perhaps, can be made for the most beautiful and mesmerizing song ever written, "McArthur Park" by Richard Harris.
1. Mangle Journey's "Don't Stop Believing"
No, you can't sing it as well as Steve Perry, and you certainly can't sing it was well as Arnel Pineda, the Filipino dude who replaced him. The song sucks when Journey does it, and the song sucks even more when you do it. Having rhinestones on your jeans does not make you a rock icon. Now get the hell out of here so I can sing something the people really want: a cover of Bush's "Glycerine."
Follow Drew Ailes on Twitter at @CountBakula.
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