In Defense of Schwag Weed

Categories: Fiesta!

Hartford Police Department

A bag of schwag comes with big ol' stems and lots of seeds. You've gotta pull the buds off the stems and break them up. You've gotta put the weed on a magazine and tilt that magazine over a big shoebox and drag a credit card across the weed so the seeds roll down the magazine and land in the shoebox. You've gotta save those seeds in a film container and tell yourself you're going to plant them later.

It's a big pain in the ass. But it's part of the process. You and your friends can share the work. And afterwards y'all can keep smoking on and on and on. Puffing on kind bud is more like taking a pill, and that's not just because it often comes in those little prescription bottles. You pull out a little pinch, you take a few hits, you're done. No ritual, no work.

High-grade marijuana is just too powerful. This might sound spoiled, like bitching about a great cup of coffee because it's so rich, but the potency has a direct effect on how often you can partake in the ritual without getting completely and utterly blazed. Smog out a car with kind bud, and you're all really, really dumb when you exit. Feel free to pass around a half-ounce spliff of hydro, and good luck when someone important calls. But you want to sit around with your friends and roll joint after joint of schwag and listen to records? Sounds like a chill afternoon where you won't freak out too much when the doorbell rings and you've forgotten you ordered a pizza.

Am I saying you should quit smoking kind? Nope. That shit is incredible. Just don't forget about schwag. It's the spaced-out uncle you ignore at Thanksgiving who actually has something to teach you. We should listen to that old dude every once in a while. He has all the good albums.

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22 comments
Neil Aimaro
Neil Aimaro

The black market is trying to faze out regs because of greed. There is nothing wrong with regular weed. Some of it is of such low quality because their is no market place to create standards. Once again the root of the problem is prohibition.

Neil Aimaro
Neil Aimaro

Bullshit! Plenty of Regs are grown right out of people's basements and closets. Believe it or not a lot of dank comes from the cartels...Do your homework.

Barrett Nangle
Barrett Nangle

Let's all go back to black and white TV while were at it. and dial up internet, because kids these days have no appreciation with their high speed internet... I think the reason most people read this was because they were intrigued to see what kind of asinine reasons someone would want to smoke schwag.

Drum Mer M JZ
Drum Mer M JZ

Like i said everyone in that pic goes home with a headache wakes up and gets kb the next day. Regrets ever getting "swag" end of story.

Ken Mills
Ken Mills

Fuck Schwag! That's the shit that straight up supports the cartels.

Kimberly Brumitt
Kimberly Brumitt

There was kb in the 70s..Thai stick..red bud..mauiwowi..Acapulco gold...and the schwag was moldy Columbian..lol..yeah my dad was an old head..rip dad.. :). Ha but he sure loved sour diesel about 5 yrs ago!

Jeff Eng
Jeff Eng

used to give me a head ache

Shaun Steger
Shaun Steger

Jason Parker you mean Starbucks will become dispensaries for MJ. LOL

Linsey Estes
Linsey Estes

It's not even worth the money. Ogs need to get with the program

Hollie Roberts
Hollie Roberts

Half of the time if gave you a headache. I get it , but no.

Tictic Bump
Tictic Bump

Leave it to the RFT to write an article in defense of schwag weed. Where does one even find that stuff? You buying it from a homeless dude in tent city?

Drum Mer M JZ
Drum Mer M JZ

Btw swag sucks that's why no one but broke asses buy it!! There's no defense here! If there was kb in the 70s they would know what to do with it! Haha no ones going back

Jason M Parker
Jason M Parker

Dispenseries will become the Starbucks of Mary Jane.

James Harris
James Harris

As much as I'd love for my weed purchases to be a simple affair of stopping at the grocery store on the way home from work, I also believe something will be lost....maybe this is just an overacting nostalgia-gene, but I have always had a soft spot for the cloak and dagger of illegality.

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