Music's Biggest Douchebags: 2013 Edition


AsILayDyingKeever.jpg
Photo by Matthew Keever
2. Tim Lambesis
Like I said, things got pretty messed up this year. Since no one ultimately got hurt, we can still laugh a little bit about this one just for how stupid a person would have to be to even engage in these sorts of alleged actions, regardless of how disgusting they are.

Earlier this year, As I Lay Dying frontman Tim Lambesis was arrested and charged with soliciting an undercover police officer posing as a hitman to murder his estranged wife. The court case against him alleges that he asked guys around his gym if they knew somebody that could kill his wife. Yeah, his brilliant plan was, according to police, to ask strangers if they knew a hitman.

Any reasonable person would have seen the next part coming, but prosecutors say that Lambesis did not and instead met up with a man calling himself "Red" (an undercover police officer) who asked on tape if Lambesis wanted his wife killed. Quote Lambesis, according to the prosecution and the tape they allegedly possess of him saying this, "yes, that's exactly what I want."

Though Lambesis has pleaded not guilty to the charges, his lawyer has also issued a statement claiming that his client's "thought processes were devastatingly affected by his steroid use." Yes, if Lambesis did attempt to hire a hitman, which he claims he did not, it was only because he was in the middle of a prolonged bout of roid rage. Seems legit.

Anyway, our No. 2 douchebag of 2013 will have his case resolved next year, when we will find out definitively whether the charges against him are true or not. If proved true, they are exceedingly disturbing. In the meantime, his soon-to-be-ex-wife is suing him to the tune of $2 million in a civil suit over the incident.


Lostprophetswarped2012mansfield.jpg
Photo by Andy Boardman/Wikimedia Commons
1. Ian Watkins

Typically this is a lighthearted award, but unfortunately the sickening actions of former Lostprophets frontman Ian Watkins have earned him a place as not only the biggest douchebag of the year, but one of the most vile people I've written about in my life.
Just a month ago, Watkins pleaded guilty in a court in his home country of Wales to thirteen counts of sexual abuse against children as young as eleven months old. It feels disgusting even writing that, and one can only imagine how devastating this must be to fans, friends, family and members of the band.

You'd be hard-pressed to find a defender of Watkins or his actions; in light of this news, it will probably be difficult for anyone to enjoy the musical works he created anymore. However, I personally wish the best of luck to all the innocent people involved, including the other members of the band who can hopefully move on from this dark chapter and find some success in the future, despite the awful and tragic end their previous band suffered.

RFT MUSIC'S GREATEST HITS

The 15 Most Ridiculous Band Promo Photos Ever
"Where Did My Dick Go?" The Gathering of the Juggalos' Best Overheard Quotations
I Pissed Off Megadeth This Week, My (Former) Favorite Band
The Top Ten Ways to Piss Off Your Bartender at a Music Venue



My Voice Nation Help
23 comments
Mike Campbell
Mike Campbell

Sorry I vote for Kanye as #1 (even over a sexual deviant) as his ego is unchecked and his talent unremarkable.

Jen Buffy
Jen Buffy

I think your photo says it all.

Lisa Criss Mueller
Lisa Criss Mueller

I can think of a local douche singer who thinks he's all that and a bag of chips. Dumb as rocks too but the worst of it is he is a cruel..

Sara Marie DeClue
Sara Marie DeClue

agreed, however there are still reason Ian Watkins is a douchebag..

Randy Abrams
Randy Abrams

I feel that the actual douche-bags that hang on the back of bathroom doors are offended by the use of the term douchebag for these people. Douche-bags, after all, are somewhat useful. Isn't there a word that we can use that indicates annoyance and lack of any purpose? I suggest dingleberry; that little wadded up piece of toilet paper that is stuck to ones butt hairs after wiping. Dingleberries are both annoying and lack purpose.

Adam Robinson
Adam Robinson

Being sick and twisted is different than a douchebag. Kanye and Bieber should be 1 & 2.

Matthew Pickett
Matthew Pickett

As much as I like Maynard James Keenan and love Tool's and APC's music, his nonstop attention whoring and avoidance of basic questions such as "When will Tool release new music and tour?!" gets old. His schtick wore thin about ten years ago.

Kenneth Snyder
Kenneth Snyder

Think it's odd that Justin Bieber, the obvious choice for number one douche bag, is completely missing from the list.

Eric Jacobs
Eric Jacobs

Kanye is the king of douch bags and people need to stop buying his crap so maybe he will go away

Tim Brown
Tim Brown

Kanye will always be number 1.

Now Trending

From the Vault

 

Clubs

St. Louis Event Tickets
Loading...