My Son Talked to God and Got Him to Cancel School

Categories: Serrano Time

"Gummy Bear Song"

This shit right here:

That's what it feels like.

Scorpion Fatalities

The boys are heavy into Mortal Kombat right now, which is weird because they've only ever played it twice. Still, this is one diversion from music that I don't mind because when I was little (and even today, really) I LOVED Mortal Kombat. When we watched this one, my son said, "Daddy, why does Scorpion like to set everyone on fire? And who do you think would win in a fight: Scorpion or LeBron James?" That kid is a goddamn genius, yo.

Crocodile River

OK, one other video that I don't mind. The boys and I have seen this one maybe twenty times in the last year. It's legit incredible. The best line: When the guy refers to the crocodiles as "Hidden death beneath the surface." That's just a rock-hard thing to say. I wish people would say things like that about me. Mostly they say things like "Man, I hate that guy so much." :(

P.S. For the most startling part, click ahead to 1:39. That's three seconds before the first adorable little fellow gets torpedoed by a crocodile. It's mania all after that.

"I Like To Move It," King Julian from Madagascar



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Why did this show up in my news feed? The key word being "news". Was this just too long to qualify as an asinine Facebook update? It had to be published to the RFT and fed out to media sources? I'm about to beat the Internet to death with its own pulled plug. 

Cat Blade
Cat Blade

True. I award you 10 Internets.

Sarah Hall
Sarah Hall

Can u imagine how tickled the kid is.

JJ O'Brand
JJ O'Brand

This is different than anything else they may stretch for faith how?

Cat Blade
Cat Blade

Christians sure are scraping for what passes as "miraculous" - huh?

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