Six People to Avoid When Forming a Band

Categories: Nitpick Six

DW05_Ironic.jpg
Dave Watt

2. Happy Hipster

Everything's always OK with the Happy Hipster. Armed with a supportive family and wide circle of well-wishing friends, they're perpetually upbeat and encouraging. And it sucks the life out of you. There's something about their lack of misery that diffuses into the rest of the band, like some sort of psychic vampire that thrives as it excretes negativity all over you.

If you don't go insane as they support every single bad idea proposed by your other bandmates, you'll have to contend with their inability to pick up on social cues. Have you ever been really pissed off and then suddenly a song like "Barbie Girl" by Aqua comes on and causes you to punch out your windshield? Maybe not. But understand that having the Happy Hipster in your band puts you eternally an inch away from that exact sort of accidental antagonism.

DW06_MultiInstrumentalist.jpg
Dave Watt

1. The Truly Talented

While they may not be the only technically skilled person in the band, they possess some sort of supernatural powers, as they're tapped into music on a different level than the rest of us. And it's obvious to everyone.

Typically humble, driven and naturally gifted, their blessings will be their undoing as they attract more attention and in turn, more opportunities. Susceptible to spreading themselves thin, they walk the tightrope as they juggle too many projects at once. If they succeed, they'll run the risk of becoming wildly successful egomaniacs, playfully bouncing around and doing whatever they want. And if they take on more than they can handle and buckle under the pressure, you're likely never to see them again unless you drive out to whatever suburban void they've plummeted down into. Unfortunately, often times the Truly Talented musician is mandatory to make a good band -- so if you find yourself in a band with one of them, do your part to protect them from themselves.

Follow Drew Ailes on Twitter @CountBakula.

RFT MUSIC'S GREATEST HITS

The 15 Most Ridiculous Band Promo Photos Ever
"Where Did My Dick Go?" The Gathering of the Juggalos' Best Overheard Quotations
I Pissed Off Megadeth This Week, My (Former) Favorite Band
The Top Ten Ways to Piss Off Your Bartender at a Music Venue




Sponsor Content

From the Vault

 

Loading...