Six People to Avoid When Forming a Band

Categories: Nitpick Six

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Dave Watt

2. Happy Hipster

Everything's always OK with the Happy Hipster. Armed with a supportive family and wide circle of well-wishing friends, they're perpetually upbeat and encouraging. And it sucks the life out of you. There's something about their lack of misery that diffuses into the rest of the band, like some sort of psychic vampire that thrives as it excretes negativity all over you.

If you don't go insane as they support every single bad idea proposed by your other bandmates, you'll have to contend with their inability to pick up on social cues. Have you ever been really pissed off and then suddenly a song like "Barbie Girl" by Aqua comes on and causes you to punch out your windshield? Maybe not. But understand that having the Happy Hipster in your band puts you eternally an inch away from that exact sort of accidental antagonism.

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Dave Watt

1. The Truly Talented

While they may not be the only technically skilled person in the band, they possess some sort of supernatural powers, as they're tapped into music on a different level than the rest of us. And it's obvious to everyone.

Typically humble, driven and naturally gifted, their blessings will be their undoing as they attract more attention and in turn, more opportunities. Susceptible to spreading themselves thin, they walk the tightrope as they juggle too many projects at once. If they succeed, they'll run the risk of becoming wildly successful egomaniacs, playfully bouncing around and doing whatever they want. And if they take on more than they can handle and buckle under the pressure, you're likely never to see them again unless you drive out to whatever suburban void they've plummeted down into. Unfortunately, often times the Truly Talented musician is mandatory to make a good band -- so if you find yourself in a band with one of them, do your part to protect them from themselves.

Follow Drew Ailes on Twitter @CountBakula.

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52 comments
joelgentry5577
joelgentry5577

I picture this drew guy a little of all these people......

rafilo7
rafilo7

Aren't bands, duos and solos made up of Truly Talented ? Why did you included them on such a list ?

John Parker
John Parker

great article but i sort of feel like if you avoided all these people there wouldn't really be anyone to work with...

Jamie M. George
Jamie M. George

The "yeah I'm a drummer.... uhhh do you have a kit i could use......and can you pick me up for practice......and haul my gear to shows" drummer.

tonytribolet
tonytribolet

Forgot about the Talentless Delusional Despot. The one that thinks that the band has a serious future in the music business and will make a million dollars only if the rest of the band accepts the Despot's leadership as the only one with the raw talent to take the band somewhere. they are either lead guitar players that can't improvise and the rest of the band is off tempo or they are lead singers and the rest of the band is off key.

Jack Semelsberger
Jack Semelsberger

Yes, by all means, avoid having a talented person at all costs!!! Not even one!

__SineadMc
__SineadMc

@szrcha I wonder if I'm attractive tattoo asshole, without the selfish dick tendencies that it O_o

Stephen Haake
Stephen Haake

I've seen some of those however, have been lucky enough to have avoided most of them.... there are maybe 1 or 2 more that could be added to that list tho. I would fall under the music school one lol... I guess... or maybe the truly talented...

Metalmoccha
Metalmoccha

@BenOrum I'm not really any of them. But I'd be the "John Bonham" if I were in a band. And nobody would want that.

Winston Dunbar
Winston Dunbar

Been through all of these. Several times, perhaps.

FastLoudKarl
FastLoudKarl

@BenOrum I'm neither of them. Closest would be truly talented, but I'm not at all talented.

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