Six Vehicles Justin Bieber Should Be Driving Instead of a Lamborghini

Categories: Nitpick Six

Dave Watt

4. A Car That Resembles His Own Gigantic Head

OK, so maybe it's not realistic to envision Bieber tooling around on some sort of pedal-powered alternative vehicle on his way to each and every one of the Satanic Illuminati rituals that keep him in power. But at the very least, why wouldn't he be raging through town in some sort of sick dragster that looks exactly like him? He could have modified a gigantic SUV and modeled his face with a sick pair of shades for the windshield. This would also serve his mission to force everyone, everywhere, to look at his cherubic visage at all times. Would YOU try to win a drag race against a gigantic gas-powered Bieber head? No, you wouldn't. You'd be too in awe of its deified glory.

See Also: Justin Bieber Downward Spiral Predictions for 2014

Dave Watt

3. A Submarine Made of Weed

Before his arrest, the Great Bieberino was already experiencing plenty of unwanted media attention for his rebellious ways. Millions of hearts recently sank after a police raid revealed that Justin was palling around with possible cocaine users. Stories of his marijuana use have been swirling for years now, and he even has some SuPeR kEwL, total-badass tattoos to help prove what a Big Tuff Guy he's become. As his image as a squeaky clean pre-teen heartthrob continues to fade, he should probably be getting faded in a submarine made out of that bomb-ass, stanknasty, sticky-icky green, smoking dosia like a No Limit Soulja. Like the True Player he is.

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