Six Vehicles Justin Bieber Should Be Driving Instead of a Lamborghini

Categories: Nitpick Six

Dave Watt

2. The Borg Cube

Kept in the Maturation Chamber for seventeen cycles, the human creature once called Justin Bieber emerges as Bieborus of Borg -- a powerful party android, capable of adopting newer and more sophisticated cute haircuts at a rate of speed unfathomable by flesh-and-blood man. He will add our biological and technological distinctiveness to his own. Any attempts to fire modulated phasers at Bieborus will result in increasingly powerful autotune shields.

Our culture will adapt to service him. We will be assimilated.

See Also: Crotching Whiskey at the Justin Bieber Concert and Getting Thrown Out: A Review

Dave Watt

1. A Unicycle

Because he is a fucking clown. Get it?

Follow Drew Ailes on Twitter at @CountBakula.


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