Ask Andrew W.K.: Can I Turn a Dog Into a Gentleman?
Dear Andrew, I've started messing around with a guy, but I'm not sleeping with him. He's the type of guy who likes being single because he enjoys picking up girls. He says it's a confidence booster. But when we're together, he calls me gorgeous and keeps grabbing for my hand to hold it. His friends tell me he's had a crush on me for years. Can I make him change his ways and possibly get a relationship out of this guy? What can I do to help him see that a relationship with me is worth giving up being single?
-- Head Over Heels For the Unattainable
Dear Head Over Heels,
Please don't try and "make him change his ways." It's not right and it usually only succeeds at pushing others away. People have to change because they want to change for their own reasons, not for yours. They have to arrive at those big decisions themselves and not through manipulation or pressure.
I'd also suggest examining why you're specifically interested in someone who seems to have made it clear that he doesn't want a relationship and likes being with other women. Why would you go after someone that doesn't fit what you're looking for? Is it because it's fun to have a challenge? Someone to try and change? Is it a project to occupy yourself with so you don't have to think about other issues in your own life?
People are not projects--they're human beings. Leave him alone and go party with some other guy. Or just yourself.
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