Six Terrible Bands I Would Fight if I Could

Categories: Nitpick Six

4. Jet

Jet comes from the same country as AC/DC -- one of the greatest rock bands of all time -- yet songs like "Are You Gonna Be My Girl?" demonstrate a clear misunderstanding of what makes rock music so great. That fact alone forces me to engage the band's members in fisticuffs, in an effort to punch them in the head to the point where they are as stupidly awesome as their 1970s-era forefathers.

Really, I'm just trying to help.

The Fight: I'd give Jet a fair, one-on-one fight -- these guys don't seem like insufferable fake pieces of shit like the rest of the bands on this list. But still, I really want to feel a pair of aviator glasses break on my knuckles.

3. Lit

That riff, man. That awful, horrible, stupid riff from "My Own Worst Enemy." How does someone make an electric guitar sound so despicable?

Like everyone else on the planet, I haven't been following Lit's career, but evidently the band is still around. Although its material has become even more faceless and forgettable, the impact of that 1999 guitar riff makes me want to gnaw on an aluminum can until my gums start bleeding. Just please, give me a chance to punch at least one nautical star tattoo off a guy wearing a fedora and vest.

You want rock & roll, you Orange County hacks? Maybe don't hold a goddamn guitar while you're wearing a Krokus shirt, for starters. And what the hell is up with your guitarist's Guy Fieri haircut?

The Fight: No fight necessary -- I'd just remind the band of its first failed attempt at becoming rock icons, the previous embarrassment that is RAZZLE, and watch its members crumble in shame.

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79 comments
Jorge Rodriguez Rodriguez Ruxin
Jorge Rodriguez Rodriguez Ruxin

That's right Charlie...I'M the troll. You keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better. You dickbump, douchecanoe.

Zseth Laveynhorn
Zseth Laveynhorn

justin bieber rules, he would ultrakill you with one finger you bigoted creep

Jorge Rodriguez Rodriguez Ruxin
Jorge Rodriguez Rodriguez Ruxin

Drew Ailes is a dickbump, hipster douchecanoe and would get stomped by all bands in existence...especially Justin Bieber....cause after all drew is a belieber.

Jenny Sandifer
Jenny Sandifer

OMG Nickelback SO needs to be on this list! Though, I agree all of the bands listed suck...

Joe Copley
Joe Copley

So Nickelback walks into a bar... There is no punchline because making terrible music isn't funny.

Drew Walker
Drew Walker

Man, I feel so bad for the RFT writers. They just put an opinion piece out there, and because they don't like 1 band that open for Breaking Benjamin 7 years ago, all the sudden they have no talent. Maybe it's the band that's been writing in the same key for 3 albums that doesn't have any talent.

Drew Walker
Drew Walker

All ten Buck Cherry fans are out, and they are angry.

Robert A. West
Robert A. West

Oh hey look everyone, RFT is drudging up articles from 2006.

Big Damn Heroes
Big Damn Heroes

Could we pit them against each other in a sort of Hunger Games style deathmatch?

Nate Capps
Nate Capps

This is awesome. I love the reaction from people. Like you weren't expecting tons of hate. Troll on...

Ryan Rick
Ryan Rick

RFT has some extremely jaded writers. I haven't seen a single music article from you guys that wasn't written by someone with a superiority complex.

Allyssa Bodily
Allyssa Bodily

this writer has no musical experience. he obviously is very one way when it comes to music and bashes artist that he doesn't lik and clearly has never bought an album from any of these artist. this article is based on old popular radio hits and has no regard for what the artist vision is. I could give you 100 bands I dislike from radio hits but unless you listen to other songs by that artist you have no right to bash them. please stop writing misinformed articles basedoff your homeschool mixtape sincerely, everyone who appreciatea music :)

Jessica Rynders
Jessica Rynders

Can't lie, I agree with the list with the exception of the self titled Third Eye Blind album. It's a good.

Alirox
Alirox

Who's that  "You don't want yer waisins to turn into gwapes" little girl from the AT&T commercials? I'd fight her.

Stephen Siemaszkiewicz
Stephen Siemaszkiewicz

Have to say this is a let down..usually enjoy your articles, this is tripe... Way worse bands in the world.

Patrick Elder
Patrick Elder

Failed attempt at "journalism." Tell us, which bands would you sleep with, rather than fight? Perhaps it would offer us an opportunity to dislike RFT even more.

Lee Montgomery
Lee Montgomery

The List Is BS!!! Lit Is An Awesome Band And Puts On A Great Live Show!!! Their New Album Is One Of The Best Albums I Have Heard In A Long Time!!! Plus Ajay Popoff Would Beat The Hell Out Of The Writer Of This Horrible Article!!!

Courtny Munger
Courtny Munger

all of his bands are "rock" on this list...he is so biased it was boring to read...Miley Cyrus anyone?

Brian Bacchus
Brian Bacchus

Interestng that a Vengaboys music video came up as a suggested link under this post.

Lisa Ogilvy
Lisa Ogilvy

Nickelback and Creed should be at the top of this list.

Jorge Rodriguez Rodriguez Ruxin
Jorge Rodriguez Rodriguez Ruxin

Drew Ailes wrote of bands he would fight...if he could and along the way in this must pathetic of diatribes he mentioned that he would rather inject PCP into his eyeballs than listen to said bands, forgot which one cause I don't listen to what idiotic hipsters have to say in the first place, but if ever you decide to do that, I would gladly offer my services to you and jab it in your eye like the scene in pulp fiction. I hate hipsters and all they stand for...which is unimportant in must rational peoples eyes, I will miss the riverfront times as I have read it religiously since the late 80's, but if your first is to hire and cater to these fuckin wastes of life, like EYEBALL PCP BOY...then...I am finished.

Amy Petty
Amy Petty

Creed? Phish? Goo goo dolls? Gin blossoms?

Matt Ragsdale
Matt Ragsdale

You chose jet over nickelback? Jet's first album was actually a pretty good nod to a bygone era, that being the one with cool seventies rock in it. Albeit they haven't broken any ground with their stuff, but its way better than some other terrible bands out there e.g. creed, and limp bizkit to name just a couple. At least they're listenable

Douglas Schulte
Douglas Schulte

How about we set up any of these bands to actually fight Drew Ailes? Also, I'm pretty sure he is the same guy that fronts the "punk" bad Brain Tumors....now there is a band I would like to fight!

Syd Destructo Schlemer
Syd Destructo Schlemer

Buckcherry is a great band and the members are my family. Articles like this give me no hope for journalism. This writer sounds like a 13 year old kid with an unhealthy and unmedicated emotional issue behind a keyboard.

Richard Messum
Richard Messum

Glad to see Hinder made your list! I'd add Simple Plan.

thelphq
thelphq

@lorddvirgil, is this what you call "rock and roll"?

Do you consider Sum 41 and Good Charlotte to be "punk"?

thelphq
thelphq

I take it "Lee" is a girls name?

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