Ten Rules of the Rave: A Guide to Underground Dance Party Etiquette

Categories: EDM

3. Put your cell phone away. Especially if you are taking selfies.

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Dave Eckblad
Stare at the disco ball, not your phone.

Wow, your smartphone screen is really bright! You're standing right in front of the DJ with your face buried in its hypnotizing rays! This is rude, and also makes me feel very sad -- for your dependence on existing within this miniature computer while an entire party that you are privy to is happening around you. The disco ball is bright. The lasers are really bright. Stare at those instead! Oh and hey, if you are taking selfies on the dance floor, I hate you. Really. You and the stupid flash on the camera phone are ruining this for me. You can take selfies everywhere else, for all I care -- at Target, in the shower, while you're jogging, whatever. Take them at home, with your cat. Just not here, OK?

2. Do not have sex at this party.

Are you kidding me? Are you that caught up in the moment that you are having lust-driven sex on the cold floor in the corner of a filthy warehouse? I asked several regulars on the local underground-party circuit what the weirdest shit they'd seen at these events was, and all of them provided gruesome tales of sex, even on the dance floor! What the hell is going on? I am so disgusted by even the idea of this that I wish these people would be caught and banned from partying forever. Just don't do it. Don't even think about it.

1. This party does not exist.

albert.jpg
Katherine Echols Moore
Albert reminds us not to talk about this party.

Do not post the address of this party on your frat house's Facebook wall. Do not Tweet it. Do not Instagram a photo of the facade of this warehouse. Do not invite a bunch of strangers. Do not invite anyone. The people you want to see will most likely already be there, waiting for you. This party does not exist. If it did, it would certainly be over with sooner than you'd like. Have some respect for the people who sneak around and plan these nonexistent parties by quietly allowing them to continue keeping the underground alive.

Next time I set out under the cloak of midnight to an unfamiliar address, lured by the promise of a special deep set, I can only pray that this list may have helped some of you establish better "rave" conduct. There's only one thing I was afraid to get into -- glowsticks.

raveguy.jpg
Collage by Sarah Stanley-Ayre
I just don't know how I feel about this guy.

I really don't feel like getting into a debate with a bunch of glowing "ravers" on LSD, so I'll just leave you with a gentle suggestion: In my world, the darker, the better.

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36 comments
amberandco
amberandco

This person sucks moist, hairy balls.

modslife2000
modslife2000

Party tips from a girl late to the party....

Jason Goad
Jason Goad

1st rule of the rave is don't talk about the rave...Thanks

justinchillz
justinchillz

This girl was born yesterday...... The recent surge was in 88 and 89.....

justinchillz
justinchillz

Who ever wrote this is a dumb ass, plus they obviously think there about something.... A rave isn't a rave without the people. Weather they belong or not.I went to raise when I was younger and 93 or 92 because everyone was accepted. Now you're trying to judge who is a raver and who's not I don't think you're a raver. Who are you to say?

Chris Wilhite
Chris Wilhite

What a bunch of self righteous, judgmental drivel.

Frank Stephen Miramonti
Frank Stephen Miramonti

"Electronic music's recent surge in popularity" What is it 1993 again? recent? really?

Kevin Mayhew
Kevin Mayhew

note to self: do not go to any party the author of this article goes to. it will most definitely blow chunks

Jesda Ulati
Jesda Ulati

Recent surge in popularity? I guess the 90s werent that long ago?

Deb Woods
Deb Woods

Seriously? They still have Raves? Come on Millenials - get creative & name your own parties. How about "Everybody Text Now!"

Heath Timm
Heath Timm

The author sounds like a cunt. Is this even a real publication? For a minute I thought it might be satire.

Tracy Hudson
Tracy Hudson

Lmfao, this is by the far the dumbest article I've read on here in a while. It's a fucking rave, not Hitler youth. I don't go to these anymore, but when I did, it was people like the author that were the buzzkill at these events. It's a party and a show. People get drunk, take drugs, dance, and talk. People do this at normal shows. If you can't handle it, then stand somewhere where you aren't going to be fondled or bumped into, or just don't fucking go. Besides hearing your favorite act, these things are about respect-- not being a judgmental cunt. If you can't handle sub culture, that's cool, but seriously? This isn't kindergarten, these are adults-- put on your big girl bundies and deal with it. The act didn't come just to play for you.

Brian Sieve
Brian Sieve

1990 called. She wants her Rave back

Bobby Duebelbeis
Bobby Duebelbeis

Sounds like the author is too old to be going to these parties.

Jeffs Rad
Jeffs Rad

How can something be so "secret" if it is in the RFT? Plus real raves are not 21 and up. I was a party kid from 14 until about 20. When you're 21 you go to real clubs and bars to see headliners.

Mark Bland
Mark Bland

Are you sure...I mean, thats 99% of STL'ians you are directing this at....and thats all they know as raving.

Rodrick Wigles
Rodrick Wigles

Alcohol?? Parties don't really have alcohol. Also... they are called "parties" not raves. And people who go to them often are "party kids" not "ravers"... this whole article is pretty much fail...

Riverfront Times
Riverfront Times

Our rave diary is neon pink and glows in the dark. How about yours?

Ryan Grewe
Ryan Grewe

Rule 2# don't let the rft come to the party and take pictures.

Rodrick Wigles
Rodrick Wigles

ROFL... author says "eating shitty molly".... if it were shitty it wouldn't be molly. Not all rolls are molly.. facepalm

Jj Jasper
Jj Jasper

Man, this article is so informative. I started taking notes, then i ran out of room in my rave diary.

Olivia Braden
Olivia Braden

If this is supposed to be underground shit, why do I get invited every other day on fb? I don't even go!

Tictic Bump
Tictic Bump

I can't even tell if this is a joke or not.

Ryan Patrick
Ryan Patrick

Why can't everybody just dance with their eyes closed??

Dan Porter
Dan Porter

Rule #1:Be positive, be kind. Be open minded. Don't be an elitist like the author of this article. Have FUN!

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