Six Reasons Employers Should Hire Touring Musicians

Categories: Nitpick Six

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4. You've Already Hired People Who Suck

A recent statistic published by me in this article is that 95 percent of everyone who does anything completely sucks at it. Whether they are just in the wrong field or their brains are made of sewer sludge is of no matter -- most people just suck at everything they do. The worst thing that can happen when you hire someone who tours is that you get another brain-dead jerk who forgets to call and tell you they can't come in today. And you've already hired a bunch of them anyway, so why discriminate?

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Daniel Means/Flickr

3. Touring Musicians Are Resourceful

The hardened road dogs of the world know what it takes to keep things going: surprisingly little. These are the people who have rigged up their mufflers with shoelaces, found toilet paper where there is none, talked their way out of being arrested by cops in New Jersey and avoided being stabbed by transients in eastern Washington. They're the people who have managed to walk away with money in their pockets after playing a show they set up on that same day -- and they've done it all while living off of light beer and gas-station hot dogs.

When you hire a touring musician, you have an oracle of scumbag ingenuity within arm's reach.

See also: Six People to Avoid When Forming a Band

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17 comments
forthemusicians
forthemusicians

Why would you say that 95% of people who do anything completely suck at it? If that were accurate, the World would be in complete Chaos. It's definitely not Perfect but to say 95% essentially implying Mediocrity is King throughout the World, is obviously not accurate. By that Raionale, nothing beneficial would ever be accomplished in any field by anyone ever. Strange thing to say, to say the least. 


Laura Dee
Laura Dee

Try putting "stay at home mom" on a resume and see where that gets ya. (Fyi, It gets you a horrible job watching other people's kids instead of your own. Ugh. No one else will hire a woman who's been out of the workforce for a length of time.)

LEAH Osborne
LEAH Osborne

Chris Rader Justin Torres Matt Gadeken Derek Rutter

Steve Mincer
Steve Mincer

but in the interview just ask them "what do you think of jay-z?" and if they give any answer other than "he sucks." point your finger at the door and say "get the f@ck out of my office."

JackieOhNo
JackieOhNo

Wow. Was this written by a child? Because that was the weakest argument I have ever read. I need to be able to depend on my employees to be in town more than a few weeks, sporadically. 

Johnathan
Johnathan

What about when they ask for the month off so they can go on tour?

matthewrz2013
matthewrz2013

I rather higher some who is less delusional, has great former experience at the job position, a decent education, clean criminal record, has realistic goals and expectations and appears to know their stuff. Just because you're in a band, doesn't mean you should get royal treatment. Musicians are just a dime a dozen in this day of age.. 

George Whittington
George Whittington

I watched a documentary about 'Big Star' last night. Why is there no documentary about 'Pavlov's Dog'?

George Whittington
George Whittington

Your assuming local musicians haven't gone through the same tribulations or worse.

Brandon Herges
Brandon Herges

You know, those are actually pretty good points. Former tourers take note: I'd bet if you spun this right in the resume as far as your duties, then elaborated in the cover letter about those duties, what RFT just said, the general communication skills that are involved in booking/performing, etc, you'd be a winner

darrylgilland
darrylgilland

@JackieOhNo Then you sound like a jackass to work for, sorry. There are such things as time-off requests for a reason.

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