"Talk Dirty": The Worst Pop Song In History?

Categories: Fiesta!

talkdirty.jpg
YouTube screengrab from "Talk Dirty"
Historically, pop-music lyrics haven't been particularly profound. Over the years we've had songs about not being cruel, about a lady who wanted to dance with somebody who loved her, and about a guy who was taking a bath and couldn't stop himself from making splish splash.

But in recent years pop lyrics have been over-the-top inane. The subject matter now involves, almost exclusively, the club or making love. The most creative artists, like Usher, sing about making love in the club. But Jason Derulo's hit "Talk Dirty" takes this theme abroad.

Currently sitting at No. 4 on the pop charts -- with about 150 million YouTube views -- "Talk Dirty" sees the protagonist fly around the world, performing his hits and making love to the local ladies. It's like Jay-Z's "Girls, Girls, Girls," except better at reducing women to cultural stereotypes.

Over a beat that drifts at times into Middle Eastern snake-charmer territory, our hero sings about his ignorance of foreign languages, and also shows off his array of offensive foreign accents. The conceit and execution don't work, but the lyrics are bad in their own special way.

'Cause I know what the girl them need,
New York to Haiti
I got lipstick stamps on my passport,
You make it hard to leave

Spoiler alert: His dick. That's what the girl them need.

But even more than that: Lipstick stamps on my passport? What kind of weird sexual kinks are we talking about? Hey baby. You horny? Come over here. You know I've been to Myanmar, formerly Burma, eight times? Don't believe me? Check out these pages! That's right, kiss them good. No, stop, you're tearing it and my flight's in an hour. Don't you know the embassy's closed for the night?

As for 2 Chainz's verse, let's just say it goes a ways toward dispelling the notion that 2 Chainz is any good. Rappers have long taken great pride in euphemisms for oral sex, but 2 Chainz is a trailblazer when it comes to the direct approach.

Dos Cadenas, close to genius
Sold out arenas, you can suck my penis

From there on it's basically just a game of word association.

Gilbert Arenas, guns on deck
Chest to chest, tongue on neck...
Bought a jet, what do you expect?
Her pussy's so good I bought her a pet

Let's hope for her sake that too many men don't have that same impulse, or said lady will soon be overwhelmed with more domestic creatures than she can care for.

Continue to page two.

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27 comments
erica.denice
erica.denice

Agree with all of it. Annoying. Overplayed. Unoriginal lyrics.

KillTheWiseOne
KillTheWiseOne

Oh shut up. At least it has some style instead of most of the vapid crap on the radio since ever.

Meagan Lamey Meier
Meagan Lamey Meier

i love this song. don't care about the lyrics…it's freaking catchy! haven't tired of it yet. and the saxophone!?!?! amazing. i even looked into the band that this song sampled…pretty good.

Glen Cory
Glen Cory

The song sucks, and the boy sucks!

Courtney Ringle
Courtney Ringle

gotta admit, if you take the words out, it has a pretty awesome track/beat to dance to.

Dave Barco
Dave Barco

Uh how about "It's So Cold In the D" or "Let Me Smell Yo Dick" by Riskay?

Ben Watson
Ben Watson

Come on "blurred lines" is the worst

Ron Clements
Ron Clements

Uh, that's a little weird. OK, more than a little.

Ron Clements
Ron Clements

Oh, there are have definitely been many worse songs. Sorry, RFT, that's it's not a song by some obscure band nobody's ever heard of.

Beth Davis
Beth Davis

Have u forgotten "barbie girl"? For the record, I dig gettin down to "talk dirty". So does my 2 yr old! :D

Steve Mincer
Steve Mincer

that "papi" song by j.lard is a crime against humanity.

Jeffrey Nunn
Jeffrey Nunn

Worse songs? Nikki Minaj's "Stupid Hoe" and Master P's "Make 'em Say Ugh" come to mind. Though I'm not sure either of those actually qualify as music.

Nancy Weil
Nancy Weil

There's something more than a little ironic about a blog post poking at a bad song that also talks about the number of YouTube views the video has had, and then links to the video, so that it can rack up yet more views, even if people are clicking on the link to check out just how bad the song is.

Zak Tajjioui
Zak Tajjioui

This song is really not that bad. There are at least 1000 way worse songs out there.

Lori K Logan
Lori K Logan

This song is horrible and sounds like it was produced in the 90s!

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