Ten Walking Raver Cliches You Meet at Ultra Music Festival

Categories: EDM

Raver_Types_Ultra-Music-Festival_Miami.jpg
Photo by George Martinez

Ravers are like snowflakes, right?

Wrong. It's actually not uncommon to find two (or twelve) who look (and sometimes behave) almost exactly alike.

In fact, we've spent a lot of time wandering around EDM fests in a state of perpetual déjà vu, encircled by thousands of party people who seem to be nearly identical human copies of specific stock types.

Here, for instance, are ten walking raver cliches you meet at Ultra Music Festival (kicking off this weekend in Miami).

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Photo by Ian Witlen

The Bro
He always wears shorts. He often rocks an obnoxious tank. And he's made many questionable facial hair choices. But close your eyes and the bro can still be identified by his especially dexterous use of the word bro, bro. He may employ it as a friendly term of endearment, as in, "Want a massage, bro?" Or a verb, as in, "We are bro-ing so hard right now!" Or even an expression of surprise and amazement, as in, "Oh! Whoa! Broooooo!"

Kandi-Kid_Raver_Types_Ultra-Music-Festival_Miami.jpg
Photo by George Martinez

The Kandi Kid
A PLUR-tastic mystic once told us that "these beads are magic." And admittedly, at the time, it sounded like a bunch of hazy-minded hokum. But after several trips to Ultra land, we are kinda-sorta beginning to believe that covering one's body (especially the forearms and face) in rainbow-colored plastic finery just might have life-sustaining and age-defying effects. After all, the kandi kid is among the oldest raver types still found 'round EDM fests. Yet these bead-bedecked wonders never seem any older than a wide-eyed, rosy-cheeked fifteen.



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12 comments
Charlie Puch
Charlie Puch

Yeah I would say that you are too old. They are probably the most fun you could ever have.

Tony Winegarner
Tony Winegarner

hell yea ybor was fun but the big parties in miami magical maydaze seance back in the 90's were the best

Bryan Byerly
Bryan Byerly

Thanks for this.. this flashed me back like crazy to Ybor city (florida) I think Courtney Ringle knows what's up

Justin Burnett
Justin Burnett

These articles on raves are lame. It was the one thing you could do as a kid and not be judged by others. This article trows all that out the window. Everyone is now put in classes and labeled.... Hmmmm times change.. This is the second one iv read. I'll bet its the same author.....

Paige Rain Moofin Bitzer
Paige Rain Moofin Bitzer

I love that your lists always include the idiot pale girls wearing Indian headdresses. Bitch prolly doesn't even truly know what your spirit means, I can't stand that

Courtney Ringle
Courtney Ringle

i remember being a "raver kid' in highschool down in FL. Tampa to miami all the time.. no wonder i was thinner. i spent most weekends dancing till i dropped.

James Harris
James Harris

I'd pay to see Boris at the Electric Forest tripping my tits off.

James Harris
James Harris

The festivals look fun, it's the people that look exhausting.

Yojimbo
Yojimbo

Agree.  Such a facile, lazy piece -- much more of a cliché itself than any of those it presumes to ridicule.  The RFT is skewing increasingly lame.  

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