Ten Walking Raver Cliches You Meet at Ultra Music Festival

Categories: EDM

Bad-Girl_Raver_Types_Ultra-Music-Festival_Miami.jpg
Photo by Ian Witlen

The Bad Girl
At first glance, she seems to be a sweet young thing, sporting whimsically dyed hair, wearing bookish glasses or a flowery headband, and making hand hearts with her BFF. But then you read the handmade fabric-paint sign. And you notice that she moves from stage to stage by riding atop the shoulders of a male slave. And instantly, you recognize that she is a bad girl who parties way harder than you can handle.

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Photo by Ian Witlen

The Peak-Hour Performer
The human body is a machine made for dancing. Just ask the Peak-Hour Performer. After training all year for this moment, dropping about twenty pounds of off-season water weight, spray-tanning to perfection, strategically shaving, and finding the perfect pair of short shorts, he or she is finally prepared for three whole days of rave. (Now, a quick party etiquette tip: Never interrupt a serious Peak-Hour Performer's mid-fest deltoid dips to ask for a photo op. You wouldn't badger Tiësto for a pic during his main-stage DJ set, would you? Please wait till the last rep.)

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12 comments
Charlie Puch
Charlie Puch

Yeah I would say that you are too old. They are probably the most fun you could ever have.

Tony Winegarner
Tony Winegarner

hell yea ybor was fun but the big parties in miami magical maydaze seance back in the 90's were the best

Bryan Byerly
Bryan Byerly

Thanks for this.. this flashed me back like crazy to Ybor city (florida) I think Courtney Ringle knows what's up

Justin Burnett
Justin Burnett

These articles on raves are lame. It was the one thing you could do as a kid and not be judged by others. This article trows all that out the window. Everyone is now put in classes and labeled.... Hmmmm times change.. This is the second one iv read. I'll bet its the same author.....

Paige Rain Moofin Bitzer
Paige Rain Moofin Bitzer

I love that your lists always include the idiot pale girls wearing Indian headdresses. Bitch prolly doesn't even truly know what your spirit means, I can't stand that

Courtney Ringle
Courtney Ringle

i remember being a "raver kid' in highschool down in FL. Tampa to miami all the time.. no wonder i was thinner. i spent most weekends dancing till i dropped.

James Harris
James Harris

I'd pay to see Boris at the Electric Forest tripping my tits off.

James Harris
James Harris

The festivals look fun, it's the people that look exhausting.

Yojimbo
Yojimbo

Agree.  Such a facile, lazy piece -- much more of a cliché itself than any of those it presumes to ridicule.  The RFT is skewing increasingly lame.  

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