Five Albums That Breed Insufferable Fans

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Aphex Twin - The Richard D. James Album

I generally don't like it when people (usually white men) spend a lot of time talking about different drugs to take when listening to certain albums. Aphex Twin's career has made a small fortune on leading would-be conspirators to the pasture. Linking together cryptic symbols and discreet hints to arrive at the true nature of... what exactly? Not sure. You see, with Jandek at least there's a perceived mystery about his identity and purpose, Daniel Johnston has the whole schizophrenia thing, but Richard D. James would be the first to admit he's just some pasty, ponytailed nerd from Ireland. There's nothing to decipher here; the guy has played Coachella before. Spending extensive amount of time excavating the Aphex Twin narrative is about as culturally relevant as finally discovering the illuminati references in Everclear's "Santa Monica."

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The Incredible String Band - The Hangman's Beautiful Daughter

OK, yes, I get it, you think the Beatles are overrated. The Rolling Stones are dumb. Brian Wilson's experimentation wasn't unique to him. You like the album with songs about amoebas, and hilariously overwrought adaptations of Hindi culture. You pick one of the greatest relics in psychedelic history, and something that would go on to influence Animal Collective, the modern snooty tastemaker for marginal people. You could've picked Forever Changes, or The Who Sell Out, or, hell, the fucking Byrds, but you say The Hangman's Beautiful Daughter, and we all sigh. We sigh because we know the second you learned about this album (probably sophomore year of high school) you felt embarrassed about liking the Beatles. That's just no way to live a life, man.

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7 comments
Damo
Damo

Well this is a pile of shit

perock
perock topcommenter

How is Korn not on here? Their break out album was mediocre yet Korn friends go on about the band like they're gods.

David J. McCutcheon
David J. McCutcheon

I follow RFT to see local happenings and read articles that contribute to things in the community, or bring in-depth conversation on social commentary within the pop culture of St. Louis, which those portions of RFT do well. The majority of the music listicle staff is akin to the goth kids in South Park. The RFT has a tag for their posts dubbed "Haters Gon' Hate", which means I can safely assume my criticism will be taken with a grain of salt; either these pithy articles gain more views than they should, or one of the higher-ups gets a hard-on over the concept. I wish to abolish this non-creative, humorless ejaculate, not plaster my name alongside it and the people who pen it. I'm better than that, which says a lot since I'm a pretty shitty guy.

RyanWasoba
RyanWasoba

I find that annoying people tend to list "Joshua Tree" by U2 or "Pet Sounds" by The Beach Boys as their favorite. Nothing against these albums or the people that like them, it's just a numbers game.

David J. McCutcheon
David J. McCutcheon

Here's a typical RFT résumé: "I'm in my late twenties and I wasted all of my good years finding things to love just so that I can hate them when they become passé. Now I've realized the folly of how I've ruined my life and am desperately clutching and clawing at anything to justify my years of existence. Please hire me so I can vaguely tell my family--who knows that I take more than I give to humanity on a daily basis--that I am a 'professional writer' for a dingleberry of the prestigious Village Voice without really explaining what I write to prevent further embarrassment on my family crest. Hopefully they will falsely believe that I am no longer the suckling dog whose life is in decline, yet still glued to the proverbial chapped teat of the ballsack and ovaries who spawned me. Signed sincerely, -A big, dumb fucking loser"

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