Jeff Tweedy, Ginuwine Sing for Unity on Parks & Rec Season Finale

Categories: LOLZ, Last Night

In Pawnee, Tom is delegating tasks to everyone -- April gets wait service, and some new dude who's whining about all the sawdust Ron is making will team up with Donna for wine. Jerry (who now is called Larry?) rushes in with the restaurant's menus, but they're unusable because they feature photos of his dog's rectum. "I must have given the printer the wrong flash drive," says Jerry. YA THINK?

Ben and Andy are still at the tech company, trying to think of a way to get them to give free wifi to Pawnee as Ben's legacy. "Every time people go through slideshows of American Music Awards photos looking for sideboob, it will be because of me," Ben says. That's how we want to be remembered, too. Suddenly, Ben sees through the window that the tech dorks are playing the Cones of Dunshire, a D&D-type strategy game he had created. He rushes in and declares that if he plays them and wins, they'll install Pawnee's free wifi. Lead tech dude asks if Ben wants to be a corporal or a warrior. "Neither," Ben says. "I'm the maverick." I'm so in love with him and am trying hard not to lick my friend's TV screen at this point.

In a boring scene, Leslie's giving a speech to nerd-types about her proposal and is very discouraged by what audience members are saying.

In Tom's restaurant, the screechy annoying guy and Donna are arguing about wine. Jerry breaks a glass and then follows that up with breaking an epic shit-ton of glasses.

The lead tech dude and Ben are locking horns over the game, and it looks like Ben will lose. Suddenly, my crush laughs and says, "You're a smart guy, but you made one cruicial mistake -- the essense of the game. It's about the cones." Ben then tosses a gazillion twenty-sided dice to the side, makes some crazy moves and wins the whole thing. Ben shows the tech people photos on his phone of him creating the game and says there's something special about Pawnee. "Yes, there is," tech dude says. "It's the home of the architect." EVERYBODY LOVES BEN!

But nobody loves Tom. His investor is not impressed by April's attitude or that they had to get rid of the menus because of Jerry's dog's butthole. He withdraws his investment and leaves, not realizing that he has woodstain on his jacket from Ron's new chairs.

COMMERCIAL!

Leslie tells Ben she's rethinking taking the job. "I'm paralyzed by hypotheticals and will die in this minivan at the San Francisco Airport." Ben urges the driver to head to a secret location on his phone, which turns out to be a redwood forest. "I'm on Endor! These are the trees George Lucas used to create the forest on Endor!" Ben exclaims! Ben Wyatt, get into my pants now, pleasethankyou! The pair wind up looking at the Golden Gate Bridge, Ben convinces Leslie that this new job will let her oversee all of the U.S. National Parks, and Leslie calls Grant to accept the job and say "I love you." Obviously that last part was an accident.

Redwood_slope_Endor.jpg
Wikipedia
Where I will marry the dude who plays Ben Wyatt.

Tom is sad and is quitting the restaurant business until Ron gives him some inspiration and April says she's called a bunch of media people and they'll all be here the night of the concert. Also, Tom owes Ron $16,000 for wood.

COMMERCIAL!

Tom gives himself and his team (of one) a pep talk about the restaurant, saying he's called in reinforcements. Awwww, yeah, John-Ralphio and his freaky sister Mona-Lisa!

Andy tries to convince Ron to perform during the concert, but Ron claims he likes to keep his music private. Leslie calls the group together for the final planning meeting and April tells everyone they need to get people to sign up for the Merger Action Squad. And then Leslie breaks the news that she's accepted a new job and will be moving to Illinois in about a month. The gang takes Leslie outside to show her a monument erected in her honor. Awwww, guys!

But no time for sentimentality -- the unity concert must go on! Like, now!

Continue to page three.


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