Six Reasons People Want to Have Sex with Musicians

Categories: Nitpick Six

800px-Buckcherry_BW.jpg
Joshua Todd
Just kidding. Nobody wants to have sex with the guy from Buckcherry.

4. Other People Might Want Them

When you find out someone finds someone else irresistible, you instantly start to picture the recipient's genitals wearing a pair of dark sunglasses with a pubic-hair pompadour. Is it a perverse biological urge that does it, or has the media trained us all to fall in love with the idea of conflict? Either way, being a musician is a numbers game. Musicians are in front of more people, so there's a better chance they have of someone falling in love with them from afar. And as one falls, they all fall.

Type_O_Negative_-_Coliseu_dos_Recreios.jpg
Manuel Lino
Actually, people would probably want to have sex with Peter Steele regardless. Because he rules.

3. Music Is Kind Of Cool or Something

OK, let's acknowledge for a moment that there are actually people out there who are legitimately into music, intellectually and socially, and have an innate desire to connect with it on any level. This means that naturally, they'll be attracted to people who are involved with their real true love: a bunch of stupid art. As such, they end up with all the stupids that come with it.


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44 comments
Jay Rodenhofer Bearden
Jay Rodenhofer Bearden

do not want to have sex with him but truly love this man. He's amazingly talented and can still rock with the best of them.

Sarah Jones
Sarah Jones

Tom Petty is hot. With or without guitar. This writer guy sounds like a nerd.

Sarah Jones
Sarah Jones

Nobody wants to have sex with the guy from BuckCherry.

LadyRae
LadyRae

There was a study done in 2005 that measured brain activity of men and women, when listening to another person speaking.  The area of the brain that processes language and speech was activated in women when either a man or a woman was speaking.  In men, however, that area was activated ONLY when another man was speaking.  When women were speaking the men's brains registered it in the right side of the brain, the part that responds to music.  From this we can conclude that men will always think women are irrational, no matter what we say, because they "hear" us on the wrong side of the brain.  And, of course, for me,, this explained why women, at least, love musicians.  I have to admit, musicians are my preferred first choice for lovers, and always have been, even before I read that study.

Steve Horak
Steve Horak

There is some truth to this. Dawn Abbott even named her only son after the guy. ;-)

Ashly Bratchie
Ashly Bratchie

This is so true . And I spent a good chunk of my teen years trying. And got pretty close...

Tessa Smith
Tessa Smith

I love artists of all sorts, creative minds are sexy to me. But no more musicians for me, keeps me out of the Gyno. :-O office and I rather like that.

Bob Scott
Bob Scott

This study was done at the University of Sussex. Try searching on "sexy musicians from Sussex". All you get is a couple of off-color (or possibly colour) limericks, and an ad seeking a bass player for a Sex-Pistols cover band. Not much of a sample group.

Tom Chiappisi
Tom Chiappisi

No Stevie. I wont have sex with you... Annie might.. But you would have ask her yourself... Im not doing it for you.

Norm Manis
Norm Manis

Whores bang musicians. What woman who respects herself would sleep with men that sleep with nasty groupies??????? None! Only whores!

Richard Messum
Richard Messum

Taylor Momsen can have me -- but not for any of these reasons ;-)

Sharon Walker
Sharon Walker

I am drawn to musicians because they use a part of their brain that is dormant in most people. Has got nothing to do with sex. People are capable of thinking of other things.

Ali Witcher
Ali Witcher

It's pretty likely I'd read anything Drew Ailes writes only to laugh while nodding and say "You know, yeeeeeah." Funny truths.

Bambi Zj Baker
Bambi Zj Baker

Well they hold guitars like large phallic devices...and the base drum is in between drummers legs. So yeah there's that

drewallesisadouche
drewallesisadouche

Your a fucking idiot dude. You have a real jealousy problem sounds like someone left you for a musician.


jchez52
jchez52

@RiverfrontTimes Yeah, but You Don't Know How It Feels to be Back In The Saddle with those boys... Hilarious might be an overstatement.

jchez52
jchez52

@RiverfrontTimes It's like you read my mind with the first 2 pictures in the story. Petty and Tyler are my, uh, rock gods, if you will.

RiverfrontTimes
RiverfrontTimes

@jchez52 They put the Sweet Emotion into your Great Wide Open, eh? Get it? Get it? Shhh. We're hilarious.

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