Here Are Some Terrible Pickup Lines From Hilarious Comedians

Categories: Fiesta!

Matt Fulchiron: Is your father a thief? No? Then who stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes?

Matt Iseman: Damn girl, I wish I were you so I could make love to me.

Alycia Cooper: You must have hurt your back (then you give a crazy look) when you fell from heaven.

Shawn Halpin: I lost my virginity...can I have yours?

Lahna Turner: I'm a little out of shape but there's still pleasure to be had from my body.

Cory and Chad (The Smash Brothers): Hey you want a shot of Fireball? We should totally fuck after this.

Chris Millhouse: Relax, I'm not trying to hit on you. I'm trying to fuck you.

Alright folks. If we have learned nothing here, please soak in the fact that even some of the funniest people around have the most grotesque pick-up lines EVER. Maybe you have heard some of them before and maybe you haven't but the point is, the lines (not the comics) are beyond puke worthy. Think about that the next time you try hitting on someone, and just be yourself. Or don't. Whatever. Either way, good luck using any of these lines and not getting slapped. We're just here to help.


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