The Six Craziest Music Items at St. Louis Resale Shops

Categories: LOLZ, List-O-Rama

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SHEET MUSIC

Man, people back in the day had crazy notions about artistic themes. Case in point: The Spring Chicken and The Pet of the Ranch. Both feature alluring titles. Both show off perplexing art. Both kind of frighten us. Neither make a goddamn bit of sense.

Price: $4 for The Spring Chicken and $5 for The Pet of the Ranch at Green Shag Market.

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RITZ CRACKERS PLATE

OK, we tried to figure out what in the hell this is -- and by "tried," we mean that we Googled "Ritz crackers plate" and checked Ebay once. We can't find a damn thing about why this tin plate exists or why flavorless crackers make this couple want to do the Charleston while they listen to their old-timey radio. This thing can't be that special, though, because the shop has three of these ugly things ready to go home with the world's biggest Nabisco enthusiast.

Price: No clue, as we were too overcome with awe to note its immense value. It's at Green Shag Market, though.

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SAXOPHOBIA

JEEBUS FRICKIN' HELL, PLEASE KILL IT WITH FIRE! Seriously, what kind of demon thinks, "Hmmm, you know what this world needs? A bunch of clowns in the freakiest makeup this side of It who share their love of saxophone jazz via LP!" A concept album released in 1961 by Capitol Records, Saxophobia pulls the clown angle through all facets of the recording, including the back cover which promises "You'd normally have to be out of your mind to deliberately develop a phobia. But as long as you have a sense of humor and a dislike of the ordinary, you can quite sanely develop a mania for Saxophobia created by the five saxophones of Clancy's Clowns." WTF?! Take a closer look at these guys:

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There's no way these clowns aren't in league with Satan! Even crazier: The clowns on the album art are not the actual musicians, AND the musicians performed sans makeup at Disneyland. THIS ENTIRE THING IS AN IDEA BORN IN HELL.

Price: $0.79 (or your firstborn) at Quintessential Antiques.

Other awesome items not pictured: a homemade KDHX plate, a framed Billy Idol picture, a Scary Spice doll, a Gloria Gaynor I Will Survive LP in Spanish, a stack of old speakers with a cardboard cat perched atop them, a Hannah Montana: Backstage Pass book with a note calling Miley Cyrus "The Original Twerker," VHS tapes Hanson: Tulsa, Tokyo and the Middle of Nowhere and Darrin's Dance Grooves featuring dance moves from Britney Spears, 'N Sync and Jordan Knight videos, and the album Riding the Range for Jesus by Ben Swett.

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6 comments
Riverfront Times
Riverfront Times

Facebook retains the original content. As you know, the headline on the actual story says "resale."

Laura Dee
Laura Dee

Awww... the headline still says "thrift". They are all resale shops, but not all of them are thrift shops.

jch1962
jch1962

Ritz Crackers Plate: I believe the dancers are moving to "Puttin' on the Ritz." I would gladly pay $8 for a plate like that.

Joe Copley
Joe Copley

That Saxophobia cover is the stuff of nightmares. Clowns creep me out.

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