The Twenty Best-Dressed Juggalos at the Gathering

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Juggalo fashion generally involves great big pants and T-shirts that were possibly purchased at truck stops. Hair is best when it is braided and aloft in the style of Coolio, and everything looks better coated in a thin layer of sticky-delicious Faygo, of course.

But some juggalos go out of their way to trot out their hottest looks for the Gathering of the Juggalos, Here, then, are the twenty best-dressed juggalos at this year's big event.

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Legendary wrestler Mick Foley came to the Gathering wearing a Hawaiian shirt, sweatpants, slippers and a fanny pack. During his comedy set, one juggalo heckled him about the latter of those items, and then Foley choke-slammed him off a 40-foot steel cage.*

*May not have actually happened.

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This guy stood for an extended period of time, silent and on guard, right in the middle of a major pathway. His armor is not black, but I still completely expected a Monty Python-style "None Shall Pass" at any moment.

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Why yes, we did include this guy, because DUH.

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Pretty sure this is the Predator in clown paint. They don't allow weapons in the venue and therefore no one was adequately armed enough to be a worthwhile hunt, so luckily nobody had to be killed.

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This woman actually bothered to wear pasties instead of (like most juggalettes here) just wandering around with nothing on top at all. Clearly this is a woman of sophistication.

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This handsome fellow is sporting a Grateful Dead bear, a Crass logo, two anarchy symbols and a Rancid patch on his studded denim jacket. Add the facepaint to that and this man successfully represents basically every underground subculture, all at once.

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I'm pretty sure this is one of those shitty government scientists from E.T., taking a break to hang out with his clown friends at the Whoopty Whoop Party in between enslaving and dissecting adorable aliens.

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This and "I Am A Gang Member Not A Juggalo" were the best Gathering-themed T-shirts we saw on the grounds.

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I'll be honest: This guy's gear looks good, but the main reason he is included is so that I have an excuse to publish a photo of a guy juggling a gigantic, floppy dildo.

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This guy's dildo, in fact -- the one in the bathrobe. File under "Obi-Wang Kenobi."

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It was cool of this Smoke Monster to make it out to the show. And he even wore a scary mask! How fun.

Story continues on the next page.



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17 comments
tritonshockey
tritonshockey

what's a "poser"?  DO you really mean "poseur"? There is a pretty big difference.

Margaret Lamprich Metzing
Margaret Lamprich Metzing

Is anyone else sick of seeing these juggalo crap stories? Is there an rft staff writer obsession here?

Sarah Carney
Sarah Carney

I would like to say thank you, RFT, for your remarkable coverage of this event. I, though not a juggalo, find it highly entertaining.

Roxy Carol
Roxy Carol

Love it when rft is a smart ass yay for doing what you want!

Alec Castle
Alec Castle

My only question is: Were your reporters already going on their and they're just covering it while they are there or did the RFT actually send them there for whatever bizarre reason I and many others will never comprehend?

Jason Gerfers
Jason Gerfers

If seeing more juggalos means less of your "Top 10 Douchiest" lists, then bring on the Juggalos. At least they are somewhat interesting.

Chrystal Wallace
Chrystal Wallace

Everyone griping about the stories most likely read and looked at the pictures...quit complaining its almost over

Rachel Webb
Rachel Webb

I agree with Kathy that it's a bit much for an event that's in Ohio.

Riverfront Times
Riverfront Times

No snark - you asked about covering local news, and we gave you a few stories. We'll see you after the Juggalo coverage wraps up, which will be in the next few days because the festival ends today.

Kathy Wunderlich
Kathy Wunderlich

At least 7 articles on this since thursday. It is noon on Sunday. That's all I am saying! Your response seems a little snarky. I am obviously not the only one who things it was a little Juggalos heavy this week. Plus all the storied leading up to the Gathering. Over it!

Kris Wilson
Kris Wilson

I'm glad I'm not the only one who was wondering what was up with all the Juggalo whoring lately.

Kathy Wunderlich
Kathy Wunderlich

So there are no reporters left in StL? There are no events in StL this weekend? It is a lot of focus on a specific fanbase.

Riverfront Times
Riverfront Times

Our reporters are at The Gathering of the Juggalos, which is closing out today. Expect a few more stories before we go back to our normal mix of local and national news.

Kathy Wunderlich
Kathy Wunderlich

Do you have nothing else to talk about than the Gathering? I used to love RFT but come on!, this is getting ridiculous!

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