Austin singer-songwriter/musician Bob Schneider is performing at Blueberry Hill's Duck Room tonight, Wednesday, March 24. To go along with this appearance, we're running an exclusive excerpt from author Steve Almond's new book, Rock and Roll Will Save Your Life, which Random House will publish next month. Part one was published on Monday, part two was published on Tuesday and part three is published below.

A Kingdom of One
It was time, as they say in Reality TV, to take this bromance to the next level. Or at least to Bob's studio. He led me out past a small pool with leaves in it, to a shack inside of which were more instruments than I've ever seen in one place: guitars, banjos, mandolins, a baritone ukulele, what was either a xylophone or a marimba (Bob wasn't sure), an ancient Wurlitzer that made a mysterious buzzing noise, a small drum kit in the center of the room, a baby grand piano. The room's lone chair was surrounded by banks of synthesizers, mixing boards, and computer monitors. It looked like where a starship captain would sit. And Bob was, in a sense, a starship captain. Using this equipment, he could record, edit, and mix songs all by himself.

The studio doubled as the HQ of his record label Shockorama, on which he's released a dozen records in the past decade. In fact, he'd meant to release Fuck All You Motherfuckers months ago, but it was still sitting on his hard drive, along with hundreds of other unreleased songs. (The rumor was that Bob sometimes wrote a song per day.)

More >>

Jimmy Bruch

Bob Schneider, rocker, object of Steve Almond's drooling fandom.

Austin singer-songwriter/musician Bob Schneider is performing at Blueberry Hill's Duck Room on Wednesday, March 24. To go along with this appearance, we're going to run an exclusive excerpt from author Steve Almond's new book, Rock and Roll Will Save Your Life, which Random House will publish next month. Part one was published yesterday; part two is below, and part three will be published tomorrow.

How Not to Woo Your Mancrush
Inside, I began sputtering in the precise manner I'd told myself not to sputter. I couldn't stop myself, because I'd grown up in the shadow of two handsome brothers and developed the common American misconception that physical beauty makes people smarter and nobler, and because I was seeing Bob at his ugliest and he was still better looking than Christ.

The living room was scattered with toys and the computer on the kitchen counter was flashing photos of his son. It suddenly seemed important that I inform Bob I had a wife and child, too, a life beyond the borderline creepy feelings that had brought me here.

Me: This must be your son. Very cute. What's his name?

Bob: Luke.

Me: Good name. Good gospel. How old is he?

Bob: Three.

Me: I have a daughter who's one.

Bob: Cool.

Me: So are you planning on having any more?

(Long Pause)

Bob: No.

More >>

Austin singer-songwriter/musician Bob Schneider will perform at Blueberry Hill's Duck Room on Wednesday, March 24. To go along with this appearance, we're going to run an exclusive excerpt from author Steve Almond's new book, Rock and Roll Will Save Your Life, which Random House will publish next month. Part one is below; tomorrow and Wednesday, look for parts two and three.

Jeff Swensen

Bob Schneider, coming to a Duck Room near you!

A Frank Discussion of My Mancrush on Bob Schneider
I have to start here, because if I don't my wife will eventually read this and say something like, "Aren't you going to mention your massive mancrush?" to which I'll respond, "Shut up! I so totally don't have a crush on Bob!" to which she'll respond, "Then why do you talk to the poster of him on your wall?" to which I'll respond, "I admire him as a musician. Why do you have to make it into something dirty?" Then I'll slam the door in her face and throw myself down on the bed and stare up at my Bob poster, the one with him looking all yummy and stubbled, and wail, "Don't listen to her, Bob! She's just jealous!"

Nobody wants that.

So let me start by noting that every Fanatic is entitled to at least one homoerotic crush, which means, for gay Fanatics, a heteroerotic crush, the point being that there's some musician out there whose talents and manner and physical presence completely jam our normal sexual circuitry.

More >>

Wikimedia Commons

Austin singer-songwriter/musician Bob Schneider is performing at Blueberry Hill's Duck Room on Wednesday, March 24. To go along with this appearance, we're going to run an exclusive excerpt from author Steve Almond's new book, Rock and Roll Will Save Your Life, which Random House will publish next month. The chapter focuses on Schneider and his work -- and more specifically, his work viewed through the lens of Almond's devoted fandom. Almond is also the author of the story collections My Life in Heavy Metal and The Evil B.B. Chow, the novel Which Brings Me to You (with Julianna Baggott), and the nonfiction books Candyfreak and (Not That You Asked).