This is my life -- in my mind.

You'd best prep your favorite Barry Manilow, Nelly and Journey songs, because you're entrenched in National Karaoke Week.

Seriously, this is a thing; I'm not making it up just to jump back into the karaoke-writing game, though it's sure convenient. National Karaoke Week happens through Saturday, and it's a BFD in some parts of the country. Wait, scratch that -- it's apparently a BFD in some parts of the world, as this video from Britain shows:

Illustration by Mike Gorman

Karaoke can be a dangerous endeavor. What can you sing that won't make friends shun you? How can you go balls-out during your next performance? Each week in "Ask a Karaoke Host," RFT Music writer and professional karaoke host Allison Babka answers your burning questions about maximizing your melodious mutterings and minimizing your friends' pain. Ask her stuff by e-mailing rftkaraoke@gmail.com or hashtagging #rftkaraoke on Twitter.

Author's Note: After covering just about every karaoke angle possible over the past six months, I'm pooped. With today's edition, "Ask a Karaoke Host" is going on hiatus. I know, I know. Please listen to that terrible Green Day song as you wipe away tears and read this maybe-sorta-final entry.

Illustration by Mike Gorman

Karaoke can be a dangerous endeavor. What can you sing that won't make friends shun you? How can you go balls-out during your next performance? Each week in "Ask a Karaoke Host," RFT Music writer and professional karaoke host Allison Babka answers your burning questions about maximizing your melodious mutterings and minimizing your friends' pain. Ask her stuff by e-mailing rftkaraoke@gmail.com or hashtagging #rftkaraoke on Twitter.

Author's note: After covering just about every karaoke angle possible over the past six months, I'm pooped. We'll be putting this column on hiatus after the March 20 edition, so if you've got crazy questions about choosing songs, performing onstage or enduring the audience's proclivity to point and laugh at you, now's the time to send 'em to rftkaraoke@gmail.com!

Besides "Theme from New York, New York," what else should be banned from a KJ's song list? -- Highway to Hell

Illustration by Mike Gorman

Karaoke can be a dangerous endeavor. What can you sing that won't make friends shun you? How can you go balls-out during your next performance? Each week in "Ask a Karaoke Host," RFT Music writer and professional karaoke host Allison Babka answers your burning questions about maximizing your melodious mutterings and minimizing your friends' pain. Ask her stuff by emailing rftkaraoke@gmail.com or hashtagging #rftkaraoke on Twitter.

Who is karaoke for? Is it for the singers? Is it for the audience? Who is the focus of the night? -- Audience of One

Illustration by Mike Gorman

Karaoke can be a dangerous endeavor. What can you sing that won't make friends shun you? How can you go balls-out during your next performance? Each week in "Ask a Karaoke Host," RFT Music writer and professional karaoke host Allison Babka answers your burning questions about maximizing your melodious mutterings and minimizing your friends' pain. Ask her stuff by emailing rftkaraoke@gmail.com or hashtagging #rftkaraoke on Twitter.

What's the point of karaoke, really? It's just a bunch of lame singers who will never be in a band. -- She Hates Me

Illustration by Mike Gorman

Karaoke can be a dangerous endeavor. What can you sing that won't make friends shun you? How can you go balls-out during your next performance? Each week in "Ask a Karaoke Host," RFT Music writer and professional karaoke host Allison Babka answers your burning questions about maximizing your melodious mutterings and minimizing your friends' pain. Ask her stuff by emailing rftkaraoke@gmail.com or hashtagging #rftkaraoke on Twitter.

When you try to sing "Shout at the Devil" by Motley Crue in the basement of Blueberry Hill but you suck and then accidentally punch out an overhead light, what's the most graceful way to exit the stage? -- Accidents Will Happen

Illustration by Mike Gorman

Karaoke can be a dangerous endeavor. What can you sing that won't make friends shun you? How can you go balls-out during your next performance? Each week in "Ask a Karaoke Host," RFT Music writer and professional karaoke host Allison Babka answers your burning questions about maximizing your melodious mutterings and minimizing your friends' pain. Ask her stuff by emailing rftkaraoke@gmail.com or hashtagging #rftkaraoke on Twitter.

Do you ever let anyone play guitar while they karaoke a song? -- Three Chords and the Truth

Illustration by Mike Gorman

Karaoke can be a dangerous endeavor. What can you sing that won't make friends shun you? How can you go balls-out during your next performance? Each week in "Ask a Karaoke Host," RFT Music writer and professional karaoke host Allison Babka answers your burning questions about maximizing your melodious mutterings and minimizing your friends' pain. Ask her stuff by emailing rftkaraoke@gmail.com or hashtagging #rftkaraoke on Twitter.

Valentine's Day is coming up, and I want to woo my lady with a little karaoke action. What are a few songs I could do to put her in the mood for sexytime afterwards? -- I Wanna Sex You Up

Illustration by Mike Gorman

Karaoke can be a dangerous endeavor. What can you sing that won't make friends shun you? How can you go balls-out during your next performance? Each week in "Ask a Karaoke Host," RFT Music writer and professional karaoke host Allison Babka answers your burning questions about maximizing your melodious mutterings and minimizing your friends' pain. Ask her stuff by emailing rftkaraoke@gmail.com or hashtagging #rftkaraoke on Twitter.

Like you, I'm a KJ, and I'm always trying to help people use the microphones in ways that make them sound good and be heard while of course protecting the mics. Do you have a list of microphone tips and etiquette? -- Like a Boss

Illustration by Mike Gorman

Karaoke can be a dangerous endeavor. What can you sing that won't make friends shun you? How can you go balls-out during your next performance? Each week in "Ask a Karaoke Host," RFT Music writer and professional karaoke host Allison Babka answers your burning questions about maximizing your melodious mutterings and minimizing your friends' pain. Ask her stuff by emailing rftkaraoke@gmail.com or hashtagging #rftkaraoke on Twitter.

Can karaoke make me sick? Should the host disinfect the mic between songs? -- Touch Me, I'm Sick