Is the World of Music Better Now or Better Then?

Categories: Fiesta!

Jim Louvau
How does Miley stack against music eras of yore?

I'm closing in on a half century of existence -- an existence immersed in the world of entertainment -- and sometimes I just sit back and marvel at technology. My phone is a computer. I can fast forward commercials. I've got music and movies and everything in between right at my fingertips.

We've got it pretty good.

Notice I didn't say, "You damn kids don't know how lucky you've got it." I haven't hit that stage yet.

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Give This Dog Your Money

Categories: Fiesta!

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All photos courtesy of Kenny Snarzyk
All Walter the Dog wants for Christmas -- and his birthday -- is to be happy and healthy.
Today is Walter's birthday.

The giant St. Bernard pup turns six years old this November 11, which in human years would make him 42. Midlife, as they say. We'll probably see him gallivanting around with a little poodle princess half his age soon, price-shopping for luxury automobiles.

But first, though, he's got to beat that darned lymphoma.

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I Love Taylor Swift, But Her New Album Sounds Terrible and I Might Hate It

Categories: Fiesta!

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Jaime Lees
I tried it with my amazing-sounding fancy vintage headphones. Nope.

Taylor Swift and I go way back. She doesn't know this, but we've had a relationship since the beginning of 2007 when I caught the second half of "Teardrops on My Guitar" while flipping through radio stations one day in my car. The song sounded so good so immediately that I stopped the scan button to listen to the whole thing. I hummed the chorus for the next few hours, and when it wouldn't get out of my head, I gave in and looked up the artist. Taylor Swift, said the Internet. Never heard of her.


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Quiz: Where Do You Fall on the Geriatric Gen-X Spectrum?

Categories: Fiesta!

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It just seems to creep up on you, doesn't it? Suddenly one morning, you notice a few gray hairs have commandeered space on your scalp. This is precious real estate, considering how far that hairline has receded in the past year. Most of your old high school pals are popping out babies, and maybe you've got a few of your own. You think about mutual funds. The time to book that digital rectal exam is steadily approaching.

In life, it's get old or die. And since you're still reading, you're aging. See that bright shiny speck of joviality in your rear-view mirror? That was your youth. Gone. Wave bye-bye.

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Halloween Costume Tips: How to Paint Your Face Like a Rock Star

Categories: Fiesta!
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Tony Nelson
This look might be difficult to recreate, but we've got some inspiration for you.

Halloween is upon us, music fans. Where did all that costume-making time go? Did you spend more on a pumpkin keg than you have for a spooky look? No worries. You're not the only one feeling the frightening fatigue of pumpkin-spiced everything.

Luckily, you can make a Halloween look on the cheap and easy with a little bit of face paint and a steady hand. Here's some easy inspiration so you can channel your inner rock star.

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Confessions of a 24-Year-Old One Direction Fan

Categories: Fiesta!

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I'm a 24-year-old One Direction fan. One day, years ago, a friend suggested I listen to the band while I was studying for finals in college. I had never heard of those five boys from the British X-Factor, but I gave their music a chance, one thing led to another, and now "Up All Night" is at the top of my running playlist, and nothing pumps me up more during a long drive than "Best Song Ever." Like all good Directioners, I watched the new video for "Steal My Girl" as soon as it was released.

See also: The 10 Most Ridiculous Homemade Signs at the One Direction Concert

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Why Everyone's Streaming Music and Everybody's Happy

Categories: Fiesta!

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A vintage Columbia House ad from some hellish year in the past.
By Reed Fisher

Remember the first time you listened to music using a computer? This is a moot question for people under the age of twenty.

I was at a friend's house sometime in the mid '90s. He loaded a program called Winamp on his computer, and played one of a dozen or so MP3 files he had. It was the 1985 Falco synthpop masterwork "Rock Me Amadeus." Did I chastise him for daring to listen to compressed audio through computer speakers? Was I pissed that he didn't have to special-order a CD single and drive miles to drop $14 on it? I was absolutely not whispering, "This is the end" under my breath.

It was one of the most incredible days of my life.

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Children's Albums Are Bad for Children

Categories: Fiesta!

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Recess Monkey: Bad for Kids
In Washington State, where I live, marijuana is legal and sold in special stores. This poses an interesting quandary for parents. Do you: (A) raise pot in the vein of beer when discussing it with your children, or (B) embrace the federal standard and advise that they abstain from it altogether, until its legality is the law of the land?

The answer is (C): Sit your toddler down in her car seat, and let Kacey Musgraves explain.

See also: The Kids Are All Right: RFT Music experiments on children

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The Ultimate Musician Movie Cameo Quiz

Categories: Fiesta!

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Anthony Kiedis, Point Break (1991).
Not all cameos are equally coveted: A good cameo creates an undeniable rush (I know that person!) that widens the eyes and forces the viewer to blurt out the musician's name when he or she appears on the big screen, like Anthony Kiedis in Point Break. An even better cameo, in which the musician is cleverly disguised or appears so briefly, leaving you puzzled, forces you to rewind. (Was that just Alex Van Halen in Robocop?!) A bad cameo, like Vanilla Ice's dance routine in 1991's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: The Secret Of The Ooze, is a mockery. Despite which kind of cameo we find, one thing is certain: We always enjoy seeing a familiar face in an unfamiliar territory.

Let's test your knowledge where movies and music collide. Can you correctly name which musician appeared in the following films? Check your answers on the last page.

See also: Quiz: Can You ID These Bands From Their Famous Typefaces

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77 Things I'd Rather Do Than Listen to a 77-Song Wilco Rarities Box Set

Categories: Fiesta!

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Alpha Mike Foxtrot, the upcoming Wilco rarities collection.

I have an issue with Wilco. It's a personal beef. My problem is this: Wilco is considered a Chicago band and the band members encourage this bullshit fallacy.

Wilco is from St. Louis, goddamnit.

See also: Wilco Creates Thunder at LouFest, Dedicates Song to Bob Reuter: Review, Photos and Setlist


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