Weird Al's UHF Turns 25 and the World Finally Catches Up

Categories: Fiesta!

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Shout Factory
"Weird" Al Yankovic in UHF.
The year 2014 may go down as humanity's Weirdest. By that, we mean it's the year that the Prince of Parody "Weird Al" Yankovic has made "Weird" the new cool. After three decades of pop-decimating debauchery, we saw Yankovic finally land his first No. 1 album in Mandatory Fun, as well as roll out video after video with A-List cameos and ubiquitous media attention. For his legion of Al-oholics, these props are long overdue.

Capping off a banner year is the special 25th anniversary edition of UHF. Yes, a quarter-century ago, Weird Al made a movie. It's a film with a following is so loyal and so esoteric, it has become the epitome of a cult classic.

See also: Weird Al's Ten Best Forgotten Parodies

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Why Ariana Grande Is Terrifying

Categories: Fiesta!

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Melissa Rose via Wikipedia
Behold the face of pure evil.

I feel the same way about pop star Ariana Grande as I do about kittens. Like a kitten, she is small, manic and often has furry ears. Like a kitten, everyone in the world loves her. And, like a kitten, she fills me with deep, untenable terror.

This is not a reason to grin. It's a reason to lock your doors.

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That's Enough Already, Beyoncé

Categories: Fiesta!

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Recently, there was an entire Beyoncé category on on Jeopardy. Just let that sink in for a minute.

Ready? Here we go.

We are all Yoncé'd out.

See also: That's Enough Already, Dave Grohl

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Is the World of Music Better Now or Better Then?

Categories: Fiesta!

Jim Louvau
How does Miley stack against music eras of yore?

I'm closing in on a half century of existence -- an existence immersed in the world of entertainment -- and sometimes I just sit back and marvel at technology. My phone is a computer. I can fast forward commercials. I've got music and movies and everything in between right at my fingertips.

We've got it pretty good.

Notice I didn't say, "You damn kids don't know how lucky you've got it." I haven't hit that stage yet.

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Give This Dog Your Money

Categories: Fiesta!

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All photos courtesy of Kenny Snarzyk
All Walter the Dog wants for Christmas -- and his birthday -- is to be happy and healthy.
Today is Walter's birthday.

The giant St. Bernard pup turns six years old this November 11, which in human years would make him 42. Midlife, as they say. We'll probably see him gallivanting around with a little poodle princess half his age soon, price-shopping for luxury automobiles.

But first, though, he's got to beat that darned lymphoma.

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I Love Taylor Swift, But Her New Album Sounds Terrible and I Might Hate It

Categories: Fiesta!

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Jaime Lees
I tried it with my amazing-sounding fancy vintage headphones. Nope.

Taylor Swift and I go way back. She doesn't know this, but we've had a relationship since the beginning of 2007 when I caught the second half of "Teardrops on My Guitar" while flipping through radio stations one day in my car. The song sounded so good so immediately that I stopped the scan button to listen to the whole thing. I hummed the chorus for the next few hours, and when it wouldn't get out of my head, I gave in and looked up the artist. Taylor Swift, said the Internet. Never heard of her.


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Quiz: Where Do You Fall on the Geriatric Gen-X Spectrum?

Categories: Fiesta!

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It just seems to creep up on you, doesn't it? Suddenly one morning, you notice a few gray hairs have commandeered space on your scalp. This is precious real estate, considering how far that hairline has receded in the past year. Most of your old high school pals are popping out babies, and maybe you've got a few of your own. You think about mutual funds. The time to book that digital rectal exam is steadily approaching.

In life, it's get old or die. And since you're still reading, you're aging. See that bright shiny speck of joviality in your rear-view mirror? That was your youth. Gone. Wave bye-bye.

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Halloween Costume Tips: How to Paint Your Face Like a Rock Star

Categories: Fiesta!
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Tony Nelson
This look might be difficult to recreate, but we've got some inspiration for you.

Halloween is upon us, music fans. Where did all that costume-making time go? Did you spend more on a pumpkin keg than you have for a spooky look? No worries. You're not the only one feeling the frightening fatigue of pumpkin-spiced everything.

Luckily, you can make a Halloween look on the cheap and easy with a little bit of face paint and a steady hand. Here's some easy inspiration so you can channel your inner rock star.

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Confessions of a 24-Year-Old One Direction Fan

Categories: Fiesta!

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I'm a 24-year-old One Direction fan. One day, years ago, a friend suggested I listen to the band while I was studying for finals in college. I had never heard of those five boys from the British X-Factor, but I gave their music a chance, one thing led to another, and now "Up All Night" is at the top of my running playlist, and nothing pumps me up more during a long drive than "Best Song Ever." Like all good Directioners, I watched the new video for "Steal My Girl" as soon as it was released.

See also: The 10 Most Ridiculous Homemade Signs at the One Direction Concert

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Why Everyone's Streaming Music and Everybody's Happy

Categories: Fiesta!

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A vintage Columbia House ad from some hellish year in the past.
By Reed Fisher

Remember the first time you listened to music using a computer? This is a moot question for people under the age of twenty.

I was at a friend's house sometime in the mid '90s. He loaded a program called Winamp on his computer, and played one of a dozen or so MP3 files he had. It was the 1985 Falco synthpop masterwork "Rock Me Amadeus." Did I chastise him for daring to listen to compressed audio through computer speakers? Was I pissed that he didn't have to special-order a CD single and drive miles to drop $14 on it? I was absolutely not whispering, "This is the end" under my breath.

It was one of the most incredible days of my life.

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