St. Louis Misfits Tribute Band We Bite Has a Hearse Now, Fittingly

Nikki Strychnine
We Bite bassist Nikki Strychnine is dead serious about his new ride -- a 1990 Cadillac de Ville hearse.

In its continuing quest to emulate its horror-punk heroes the Misfits, the Gateway City's own We Bite acquired a hearse this week to cart gear from show to show. That's right: Instead of transporting dead bodies to the graveyard, this former funeral carriage is transporting music lovers to heaven.

Or to hell, as the Misfits tribute act would probably prefer.

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Title Fight Talks About the Influence Its Small Pennsylvania Hometown Has On Its Music

Susy Cereijo
Title Fight will perform at the Ready Room on Saturday, March 7.
By Andy Thomas

When you're a musician, the place you grow up in has a huge impact on the type of music you write and the message you convey to the rest of the world. The Ramones talked about the chaotic struggle of living in New York and doing anything to get by in "53rd & 3rd." Years later, the Los Angeles band FEAR told us about its cockroach- and piss-filled apartment in "I Love Living in the City." Tom Waits serenaded his hometown of San Diego, and Elvis Presley never seemed to shut up about Memphis.

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The 10 Best Crossover Thrash Bands

Pep Williams
Suicidal Tendencies
Today's fans of punk and metal take it for granted that the two genres often manage to intermingle -- that is to say, it isn't uncommon to spot a Black Flag T-shirt at a metal show or a Metallica T-shirt at a punk show. But during the early- to mid 1980s, such camaraderie between hardcore punk and heavy metal was non-existent, and for a period of time, the two scenes could not peacefully coexist.

As violence, hostility, fights and mayhem ensued when the fans met at shows, bands were able to use this tension and chaos to usher in a new breed (at the time) of thrash metal and punk-rock combined -- a hybrid style of music that came to be known as crossover, which bridged the gap between fans of the two styles.

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Updated: St. Louis Punk Band Raising Money to Have Its Own Drummer Killed

Peter Yarmouth / Black and Blue Records
Back there behind the bloody guy is Crash, he who is marked for death.
[UPDATE: Needless to say, GoFundMe pulled the crowd-funding effort after only two days, with $27 raised toward the goal. Perverto isn't upset though.

"We sold some more CDs, a few people are asking for interviews, a bunch of fat gals say they want to gobble my penis," he says. "The only downside is Crash is still alive and well, but you can't have everything.

"And just for the record, I had every donation refunded," he adds. "I don't want your money. I'll take cigarettes though."

Original article continues below.]

St. Louis' long-running kings of shock-punk, Without Mother Fucking Order, have started a new crowd-funding campaign to have the band's drummer, Crash, killed. With a goal of only $100, it actually seems like one of the more fiscally feasible efforts of its kind.

See also: STL Scientologist Seeks Musicians to Create a "Band of Unprecedented Heights"

From the GoFundMe page:

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How to Win a Fight, According to Nubiles

Steve Hagley
"Big Gulp, huh? Alright. Welp, see ya later!"
With layers of grime and noise rubbing up against memorable, meaty hooks, Kansas City's Nubiles is poised to be the next burning powerhouse in punk rock. The ruggedly handsome trio has already been wildly successful, having put out a great cassette tape that a few of the band members' friends will adore until they accidentally step on it. The impressive, five-song release has created such a stir in underground communities that seminal leaders in the rock & roll movement have started referring to the phenomenon as "Nubilation".

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The 10 Best Punk Christmas Songs

Andrew Youssef
Warren Fitzgerald of the Vandals on guitar
By Damian Bloor

Christmas is only a week away, and with it will come the fateful holiday party where someone -- hopefully not you -- drinks too much and tells off a roomful of sullen friends and family members. Far from a time of universal peace and joy, the winter holidays can be fraught with familial resentment and animosity. This makes the season a perfect time to dust off your old punk-rock records. We know holiday prep is major drain on time, so as our gift to you, we've assembled a playlist of our ten favorite Christmas punk songs. Now you should have plenty of time to write insincere cards to people you only see once a year.

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Lagwagon Nails the Delicate Art of Aging Gracefully

Lisa Johnson

Ever wondered what kind of maladies might befall residents of an old folks' home for punk musicians? All you have to do is crank up Lagwagon's "Falling Apart," on which the long-running Santa Barbara, California, band fast-forwards time and imagines what its members will look like when they are decrepit and utterly dilapidated. There are all manner of ailments: baldness, osteoporosis, glaucoma, blown-out knees, liver failure, dementia, muscular atrophy, dental decay, etc.

At the particularly mournful-sounding bridge, vocalist Joey Cape's distinctive, kinda nasal voice wades through despondence: "I'll never be Ozzy/Onstage when I'm 50/I'm gonna look like Elvis/By the time I'm 40/We're already bogus/We're already fading/We'll never be the Rolling Stones/I'm staying home."

And there Lagwagon is: infirm and irrelevant. It's a pointedly tragicomic riff on youth disappearing -- Cape himself sees the tune as more funny than sad.

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Minneapolis' Miami Dolphins Is Not a Football Team From Florida

Joe Scott
Don't worry; they're OK. Dolphins can breathe underwater.
Aside from the fact that it is decidedly not a sports team (but also, still totally a sports team), not much is known about the whimsical Minneapolis band Miami Dolphins. Having carved a quirky cacophony into the foreheads of freak deviants and gleeful art-school nerds alike, the band seems to garner a wide array of bizarre comparisons from every direction. Terms like "angular avant-punk" and "spazz-rock" drunkenly dance around reviews while other confused music aficionados liken the group to the Minutemen, Wire, Dog Faced Hermans, Fantomas, Le Tigre or a kindergarten class on a sugar high.

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Super Punk Mattress From Genuine Punk House For Sale On Ebay

Photo from Ebay listing
Sorry, the "0" from the house's address has already been sold.
Look at this mattress. As you can plainly see, it is very punk. It is spray-painted and dirty, and it has a negative but in-your-face attitude. Do you want to buy it? Of course you do.

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[Update: Canceled] Modern Life is War Will Play St. Louis for the First Time in Six Years

Press photo
By Nick Lucchesi

[Editor's note: We've just received word from MLIW's people that one of its members has a family medical emergency and this show is canceled. The band hopes to reschedule soon.]

The last time Modern Life Is War played St. Louis, it looked liked like Hillary Clinton could be president, America was blissfully unaware of Sarah Palin and the first-generation iPhone was a tech revelation.

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