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Lists will inevitably be remembered as the highest point of pop-culture Internet journalism. Why? BECAUSE WE LOVE THEM.

Sometimes, however, the sure-fire can't-miss format of the list fails us from a journalistic standpoint. Here are ten of the worst music-related lists that I could find before going to my real, non-journalism job: Working at a warehouse, throwing around props for haunted houses and getting fake blood all over the clothing I wear that I found on the street.

See Also: This List of RFT Music Lists That are Better Than the Lists in This Post
- The 10 Greatest Alt-Country Bands Ever
- Sixteen Songs Forever Ruined By Their Commercial Parodies
- Nine Unintentionally Funny Lyrics in Well-Known Songs
- Ten Bands You Never Would Have Thought Used to Be Good
- The Ten Biggest Concert Buzzkills: An Illustrated Guide

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For all practical matters, alt-country began with Uncle Tupelo's album No Depression in 1990. Shortly thereafter, the magazine of the same name was published. and it seemed that every city had its own selection of alt-country acts, with St. Louis very much included.

Although none of the following bands were commercial blockbusters, all of them have made some incredible music by fusing country, folk, rock and punk, and the majority of them are still going strong.

See Also:
- The 10 Greatest Alt-Country Bands Ever Spotify Playlist
- Son Volt's Jay Farrar on Honky Tonk, Ralph Mooney and Bending the Rules

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Most people who meet me learn within about 30 minutes that I'm in a state of constant agony. Not because of some sort of tragic childhood or traumatic physical ailment, but because I have television commercials circa 1987 to 2000 stuck in my head at all times. The word "bucket" triggers the song about the children's toy, Mr. Bucket, to play in my head. The term "crossfire" sparks that shrieking hair-metal song for the children's toy of the same name.

See Also:
-The Top Ten Douchiest Guitar Players of All Time
-The Top Ten Douchiest Drummers of All Time

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What would music be without a beat, a rhythm or a backbone? Though they qualify as the first instruments ever created, the drums are probably the last thing most music fans can live without. And while we worship plenty of drummers in modern music, there are some Gods of Thunder who might actually deserve to be struck by lightning. It's only natural that having the biggest instrument in the band will lead to some smug attitudes, inflated egos and dumbass behavior. But when it comes to narrowing down the douchiest drummers of all time, there's a handful of them that definitely stick out. Here is our list of the Ten Douchiest Drummers of All Time.

See Also:
-The Top Ten Douchiest Guitar Players of All Time

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Lance Berkman's high school photo. Tell us you don't see a little Johnny Cash in that?

Do you know why Lance Berkman was, empirically speaking, the single most badass Cardinal of the past decade? (Yes, empirically. It's been scientifically proven.)

No, it wasn't the awesome soundbites he routinely handed out or his wicked sense of humor. On-field exploits? Ha! Don't make me laugh. It wasn't even the mullet, paragon of all that we St. Louisans hold sacred.

What made Lance Berkman the baddest-ass badass of all badasses was his walk-up music. Most guys don't put much thought into the song they want played when they come to bat. Lance Berkman clearly did, and when you heard the angelic, apocalyptic strains of Johnny Cash's "God's Gonna Cut You Down" echoing through Busch Stadium, everyone in creation knew who was up.

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I was as surprised as anyone when I clicked online and saw the message: There was a new product from an old favorite, now available for download. Given that this was the first such release since 1991, I wanted to check it out immediately. And indeed, I was not disappointed. There was enough of the old attitude to satisfy, but with some interesting new directions.

Yes, that's right: Gerard Cosloy has finally released a new issue of his music fanzine, Conflict. (I think there was a new record by some British band, too, but cannot recall.)

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tumblr.com/user coolbeans11

Michael Angelo Batio

By Nate Jackson
Hey, we can all appreciate a quality guitar god. Anyone who considers themselves a fan of music knows the joy of watching their favorite axeman/woman go on a tear and destroy the crowd with their fast-fingered prowess, signature style and lush mane of flowing hair. It's the textbook rock & roll sexy factor that has been selling concert tickets, signature guitars and posters for decades.

See Also:
-Ten Bands You Never Would Have Thought Used to Be Good
-The 15 Most Ridiculous Band Promo Photos Ever

But when you're a world-class guitar player and you know it, there's a fine line between sexy and, well, douchey. You know, that rocker who poses on his knees for just a little too long, gives us just a little too much "O" face during every solo and is hellbent to show us all how many guitars he/she can play at once. History (namely the '80s) is full of these guys, but Douchey Guitar Player Disease (a.k.a. DGPD) is still a scourge on the music industry today. With that in mind, we'd like to present our list of the Top Ten Douchiest Guitar Players of All Time.

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All photos by Jacob Katel

Welcome to Twerklandia.

Getcha, getcha, getcha, getcha, getcha freak on!

We all know that there are lots of ways to become immortalized at a massive outdoor music gathering like Ultra Music Festival. 

Say, humping a tree. Or dancing naked while getting arrested.

But yo' momma would probably prefer if you lived forever among these top ten twerking, Harlem Shake-ing ravers at Ultra 2013 in animated GIF form! 

See Also:
-The 13 Most Hardcore Ravers at Ultra, in GIF Form
-Ultra 2013: Bras as Shirts and Other Top Fashion Trends

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By Nikki Miller-Rose

Enough is enough already. Forget everything we've come to know about the month's wild mood swings. Ignore the weatherman's prognostications; just throw on some shorts and short sleeves at the first sight of melting (read: slushy, gray, disgusting) snow. By this interpretation, guess what, folks -- spring has officially sprung! Soon the tulips will be poking through what little snow remains in your backyard, competing for space with all the dog poop you've neglected during the winter.

Here are ten songs to ring in your undeniable, unshakable, totally unreasonable spring fever.

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A Vampire Weekend fan prepares to scale a fence during "Horchata" and rage.

By Craig Hlavaty

Before I take any trip to Austin and SXSW, I always take more than a few days to peruse the schedule and check out a few of the hundreds of names on the roster and read their bios.

Some years there are more bands with "wolf" and "space" in their monikers than usual, and some years there are random exclamation points! that seem to make! no sense other than to annoy! copyeditors who are already sick of reading about SXSW.

RIP Steaming Wolf Penis. I hardly knew ye.

See Also:
-The 15 Most Ridiculous Band Promo Photos Ever

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