Minor League Cardinals Team Very Sorry Corey Feldman Ruined Everything

Categories: LOLZ

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Screenshot from the video.
Oh how the mighty have fallen. Wait, is "mighty" the right word?
The State College Spikes, a Pennsylvania-based minor-league baseball team affiliated with the Cardinals, want you to know they are very sorry for letting 44-year-old child star Corey Feldman perform with his band, Corey's Angels, at a recent game.

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"Aunt Claudette" Chosen as Ring Girl for New Kids On the Block Concert; Hilarity Ensues

Categories: LOLZ

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Photo by Courtney Stabler
Aunt Claudette: professional Internet troll, amateur ring girl.
Claudette Higgins is a blockhead. The 41-year-old special needs teacher from Maryland Heights -- real name Libbie Higgins; Internet-famous as "Aunt Claudette" -- is way into the New Kids On the Block. Whether or not she's sporting one of Aunt Claudette's famously bedazzled neck braces, she's a fan, and has been all the way back to 1988.

So when the seasoned Internet troll attended the recent NKOTB concert at Scottrade Center in late May, she had a hilarious idea.

See also: "Aunt Claudette" Is A Proud Troll We Can't Help But Love

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Behold the Least Metal Video Ever Made

Categories: LOLZ

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If you don't remember Chris Holmes from his stint as lead guitarist in W.A.S.P., you may be forgiven. The band was, after all, just another hair-metal act, and not one whose work has particularly stood the test of time. On the other hand, if you don't remember Chris Holmes from his interview in the Penelope Spheeris documentary The Decline of Western Civilization Part II: The Metal Years, then you might have brain damage.

Who could ever forget Holmes floating in a swimming pool on an inflatable chair, swigging vodka from three separate bottles and babbling incoherently as his mom looked on, worried? It's arguably the greatest interview in music-documentary history.

His latest video is the music-video equivalent of that interview. Oh. My. God.

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These People are Outraged at Beck's Album of the Year Grammy

Categories: LOLZ

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By Hilary Hughes

Hey Beyhive: You're not alone.

The majority of viewers who tuned in to the broadcast of the 57th annual Grammy Awards were nearly treated to another Kanye West outburst over a Beyoncé snub, as Beck's Morning Phase won over Queen Bey's opus for Album of the Year. Beck was thrilled, clearly, but the Internet? They weren't necessarily feeling the "loser, baby" narrative that played a key part in forming the foundation of his career.

Here's a look at some of the more passionate reactions that Bey's loss and Beck's gain elicited via Twitter shortly following the awarding of 2015's Album of the Year. #whoisbeck indeed.


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Meow the Jewels Reaches Kickstarter Goal, World Isn't So Bad After All

Categories: LOLZ, WTF

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Killer Mike, El-P, "and a shitload of cats."
Run the Jewels, the brainchild of renowned producer/rapper El-P and co-conspirator Killer Mike, has garnered piles of attention, praise and accolades since its 2013 debut. While the two artists themselves are no strangers to genre-bending and brow-raising collaborations (the pair recently released a song featuring comedian/Police Academy star Michael Winslow and another featuring Rage Against the Machine's Zach De La Rocha), their most recent announcement is so far out of the box that it should likely be spinning across the galaxy.

See also: Killer Mike and El-P Talk Run the Jewels and Rolling Blunts: "Fuck it, put it on the record."

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The 10 Most Ridiculous Homemade Signs at the One Direction Concert

Categories: LOLZ

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Micah Usher
New Kids On the Block One Direction performed in St. Louis last night at the Edward Jones Dome, bringing out scores of crazed fans who gladly stood outside in the rain for hours, for some reason, as the streets were blocked off. The young ladies milled about and presumably screamed excitedly at one another about who their favorite members of the group are, and many carried homemade signs.

Yeah, about those signs....

See also: Our full slideshow from the event

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The Video Music Awards Completely and Unfairly Snubbed Stitches

Categories: LOLZ

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YouTube Screen Capture
Better have his money when he comes a'collect.

This past Sunday, MTV aired the highly anticipated 31st installment of its Video Music Awards. Always an unpredictable and raucous night, there was unfortunately a black cloud looming over the entire telecast owing to the complete and total snubbing of Florida rapper Stitches.

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Dumbass RFT Music Editor Locks Keys in Car at Site of Ferguson Unrest, Is Stupid Dumbass

Categories: LOLZ

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Roger Wollstadt/Flickr
Technically not my car, but a good enough approximation.
[Note: The situation in Ferguson is as such that even lowly music journalists such as myself have felt compelled to report on the scene -- I wrote this article, which was published Wednesday -- despite having more experience with things like Ra Ra Riot than real-life riots. In keeping, I am an idiot who probably has no business being on the ground, and who should probably be leaving this work to RFT's actual news reporters, whose work has been simply astounding. I offer this article as my case in point. Hopefully it can bring a small amount of much-needed levity and laughter to a city in the midst of a terrible situation. This story occurred on Wednesday night, before the St. Louis County force was replaced by the decidedly less-militarized state troopers. Enjoy.]

At approximately 9:30 p.m. Wednesday night, after hitting several police roadblocks around the site of the protesting in Ferguson, I finally found a way to drive into the fray, popping out just behind the line where police were turning away cars. I parked on a residential street that runs perpendicular to W. Florissant, and the first thing I saw was an armored personnel vehicle 40 yards away from my position, loaded with cops dressed in all their military finery. Nearby, I watched other police officers dropping smoke flares on the ground and turning away cars that were coming through. One of the full-riot-gear police stood in the middle of the street, holding a shotgun and telling vehicles and pedestrians alike to turn around and go the other way. Overhead, a police helicopter repeatedly shined a spotlight on pedestrians including myself, flashing it to indicate further that we should leave, and just south of my location police had begun deploying rubber bullets, flash grenades, tear gas and sound cannons.

In awe of the scene, I stepped slowly out of my car and shut the door, distracted and neglecting to realize I had left my keys sitting on the passenger seat. I figured it out two seconds after the door closed, as is often the case in these matters.

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Cannibal Corpse Singer Crowned Hot Dog Eating Champion

Categories: LOLZ

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Nate "Igor" Smith
George "Corpsegrinder" Fisher, Oscar Mayer Winner.
Cannibal Corpse frontman George "Corpsegrinder" Fisher put on an impressive showing at the Gathering of the Juggalos' Hot Dog Eating Challenge this past weekend, taking home top honors with a staggering score of 112 -- beating record-holder Joey Chestnut's top score of 69 by 43 full wieners.

See also: Cannibal Corpse Performing In Broad Daylight: Photos

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Cannibal Corpse Performing In Broad Daylight: Photos

Categories: LOLZ

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Nate "Igor" Smith

Extreme death metal band Cannibal Corpse typically moves in the darkness, spreading evil with songs such as "Dismembered and Molested," "I Cum Blood" and of course, "Entrails Ripped From a Virgin's Cunt." The band prides itself on its extremely violent approach to its subject matter, arguing that its music is simply an over-the-top form of artistic entertainment.


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