20 Signs You Spend Too Much Time in the Loop

Categories: LOLZ

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Paul Sableman
Loop-dwellers have a different skill-set than regular visitors to other parts of the city. Their brains are wired differently now, with random thoughts and tidbits of information that could only come from too much time spent on the bustling stretch between the Church of Scientology and the Pageant.

How do we know? Well, RFT Headquarters is nestled on Delmar as well; right in the thick of it. We are living it, baby. Here are twenty signs you spend too much time in the Loop (like us).

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Watching My Dad Get Into Dubstep Was Painful

Categories: EDM, LOLZ

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Courtesy of the author
My parents, three years before I was born.
Yes, those are my parents in that picture.

Their pet snake, Phallys, is no longer around, and thankfully my Dad has ceased wearing a chain linking a nose ring to his ear. (Click the photo to enlarge it.)

But, now 43, he remains a wild man, especially when it comes to music.

For almost my whole life he's been rocking out in nerdy fashion and trying to push his tastes on me. The results have often been disastrous.

Like the time he got into dubstep. Or the time our trip to Coachella together sent him to the hospital.

But let's backtrack for a second...

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'90s Cover Band the VCRs on the Found Footage Festival, Coming to St. Louis

Categories: LOLZ, Videodrone

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Facebook
The Found Footage Festival teaches us about so many topics.

Think the videocassette is dead? Think again.

On Wednesday, November 6, the Found Footage Festival makes its way to the Mad Art Gallery (2727 S. 12th Street). Hosts Joe Pickett and Nick Prueher have scavenged the country's thrift shops and garage sales for the best -- and worst -- of VHS culture, and they excitedly share their finds with the masses year after year. Bizarre celebrity exercise fads, training montages, dating videos and "stranger danger" prevention tips all are screened "Mystery Science Theatre 3000" style, giving audiences a hilarious multi-sensory blast from the past.


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Eight Hilarious Frankie Avalon TV and Movie Appearances

Categories: Fiesta!, LOLZ

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YouTube
Hey, Venus, make my wish come true.

Frankie Avalon is a legend. An icon. A damn big kahuna. Even at 73, the "Venus" singer still can make the ladies squeal.


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Celebrity Clothing Lines Are Terrible: A Study

Categories: Fiesta!, LOLZ

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Sorry, St. Louis -- these people refuse to clothe you.

True story: Adam Levine of Maroon 5 and The Voice and Nicki Minaj of...well...Nicki Minaj, now are clothing designers! AT KMART! This week, Mr. "She Will Be Loved" joined Ms. "Starships" in becoming part of the Kmart family with clothing lines that continue the 'Mart's tradition of mediocrity. Press releases say that 500 stores around the country are getting into Levine's and Minaj's pants, and the duds also are available at Kmart's shopyourway.com.

RFT Music had grand intentions of checking out these clothes in person, but the Kmart gods have decreed that no St. Louis stores will receive the uber-hip attire. WHY CAN'T WE HAVE NICE THINGS, KMART?

But wait! There are other celebrities with wonderful/terrible fashion lines! So in the spirit of St. Louis Fashion Week (happening through Sunday, October 6), we grabbed RFT staffer Danny Wicentowski and hit the Saint Louis Galleria Mall in Richmond Heights to model the best and worst (mostly the worst) of what's out there for celeb-drunk guys and gals.


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St. Louis Rapper Prince Ea Punks the Internet With Awesome Video Series

Categories: LOLZ, Videodrone

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A screenshot from one of the videos that fooled the whole conspiracy-theorist corner of the Internet.
St. Louis Rapper Prince Ea is no stranger to viral-video marketing. His "Backwards Rapper" video from 2011 has nearly 1 million views on YouTube, setting the Internet on fire when it was released. Last year's "Smoking Weed with the President" took off in a similar way when it came out, and it presently sits just shy of the 400,000 mark.

But his latest, highly ambitious endeavor just may be the best yet.

See Also: Prince Ea's Video For "Backwards Rappers" Turns a Gimmick Into a Symbol And Goes Viral

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CutForBieber Was a 4chan Prank, but in 2013 Pranks and Trends are Basically the Same Thing

Categories: LOLZ

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Rachel Parker
A little perspective, here.
Pranks are never more effective than when a prankster finds the precise border between reality and absurdity and just barely steps over it. This week's #CutForBieber trending topic--in which Justin Bieber fans were supposed to be cutting themselves in an attempt to force their ur-boyfriend off marijuana--was a perfectly executed example. Are there quite enough Beliebers interested in targeted self-harm to float a genuine reverse-protection-racket hashtag? Probably not. Are there a few? Suddenly plausible.
In that space: The prank. But the fascinating part about #CutForBieber isn't just the execution--it's how evanescent prank and prankster were. There's no Allen Funt here, and no footage of Justin Bieber bursting through a door and everybody sigh-laughing in relief.

There's just 4chan, and stories about a thing that was briefly happening and now isn't. #CutForBieber is an artifact of a system in which pranks and trending topics are functionally identical.

See also:
- Crotching Whiskey at the Justin Bieber Concert and Getting Thrown Out: A Review
- St. Louis Musicians' Monstrous Visages Loom Menacingly on City's Horizon
- Tony La Russa's Wife: Huge Metalhead?

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Tony La Russa's Wife: Huge Metalhead?

Categories: LOLZ, WTF

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Don't Fear the Reaper? Not metal.
Lita Ford, Doro Pesch, Elaine LaRussa. Names that come to mind when thinking of the top heavy metal babes of all time? Not exactly, but it seems the wife of the man who led this city's baseball team to two World Series championships may prefer the mosh pit over the dugout herself.

See also:
- The 25 Creepiest Heavy Metal Album Covers
- Getting Bored and Angry at Lamb of God: Review and Photos
- The Six Best Non-Metal Songs About Heavy Metal

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Two Music Fans Attend Creed Concert (Sober) to Raise Money For MS

Categories: LOLZ, WTF

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It seemed like a good idea at the time. A couple months ago, close friends and former SLUH grads Tony Cerame and John Simon noticed that the gut-rocking, god-loving, glory-touring guys in Creed are coming to The Pageant this Saturday. At this point, they'd like to clarify one item: "We cannot, in any way be confused with Creed fans," insists Simon, though he admits he occasionally catches himself singing "Higher" in the shower. "Their songs are just so bombastic and Jesus-y that I can't help myself." Instead, the guys have become surprise (and sarcastic) philanthropists.

When Cerame's reaction to the tour announcement was, "You couldn't pay me enough to go to that," he second-guessed himself, brought in Simon and hatched a plan for charity. To raise money for the Gateway Chapter of the National Multiple Sclerosis Society, the two music fans will attend Creed in concert -- completely sober.

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Megadeth Rocker Elaborates About His Love for Mini-Horse

Categories: LOLZ, WTF

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Wikimedia Commons
Spin Magazine recently elaborated on Megadeth rocker Dave Mustaine's love for his mini-horse.
When metal demigod Dave Mustaine isn't raising eyebrows with his kind words about GOP presidential hopeful Rick Santorum, he's usually melting faces as the frontman for Megadeth.

With so many years of rocking under his proverbial belt, Mustaine is entitled to some of the finer things in life. But according to Spin Magazine, one of Mustaine's most-prized possessions isn't a golden record or a platinum toothbrush. No, Mustaine is enamored with a miniature horse he found named Rocky:

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