Justin Bieber Does Not Eat Poop

Categories: LOLZ

Not a poop-eater, as determined by Google.
Have you ever Googled something only to find that their autofill feature suggests some really strange stuff? This has been the source of Tumblr blogs and memes alike. It has also been the reason many a person has lost faith in humanity, seeing ridiculous questions on obvious subjects. Just type "why" in there for maximum hilarity.

I decided to check out what some of the suggestions were for some of the more popular musicians around. If you've ever read YouTube comments on their videos, you'd know that people can come up with the absolute dumbest ideas and questions about musicians, and thankfully Google didn't disappoint.

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St. Louis' Hilariously Varied Reactions to this Year's Pointfest Lineup


You know, we here at RFT Music get a little jaded sometimes. We're so used to concert announcements clogging our inboxes that we just yawn when embargoes are up, and we're finally allowed to tell you about all the secret information we've been hoarding. That's why instead of reading stuff in black and white, it was neat to witness the Twitter reactions as Lux of 105.7 FM (The Point) announced the Pointfest 2014 lineup Monday afternoon.

See also: Queens of the Stone Age Coming to Verizon Wireless Amphitheater for Pointfest

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Oscars 2014 Recap: The Best Music Moments

Categories: Fiesta!, LOLZ


It's the Oscarszzzzzzzz! Ellen DeGeneres returned to host red-carpet season's most boring awards show last night with a little more bite than her goodie-goodie turn in 2007. The daytime talk show vet kicked off the ungodly-long telecast by making fun of actress Jennifer Lawrence's fall (this year's, not last year's) and calling actor and 30 Seconds to Mars vocalist Jared Leto "pretty," but she soon soothed her famous friends by having pizza delivered and taking selfies that break Twitter. For real, yo.

But honestly, we didn't give a shit about who won Oscars (Find out here.). The only reason we watched was to judge the telecast's musical moments. There were plenty of snoozers -- sorry, Karen O. and Idina Menzel -- but enough stars brought charm and joy that we didn't hate ourselves for watching this crap. Below, check out what we consider to be the telecast's musical highlights. Be sure to tell us your favorite moments in the comments!

See also: "Grammys Highlights: Daft Punk Wins, Pharrell's Hat, Taylor Swift Has Sex with a Piano"

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Katy Perry, Talking About Her Boobs Again

Categories: Fiesta!, LOLZ

Jena Ardell

Katy Perry makes headlines every time she talks about her boobs, so maybe that's why she brings up her Big Gulps in nearly every interview. Here she is in February's GQ Magazine:
"I lay on my back one night and looked down at my feet, and I prayed to God. I said, 'God, will you please let me have boobs so big that I can't see my feet when I'm lying down?' At age eleven, God answered my prayers."

Here are other things Perry has said about her breasts...

See also: Katy Perry's "Roar": Why This Song Sucks

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Prince Blesses The New Girl, Forces Us to Watch This Stupid Show

Categories: LOLZ, Last Night

@NewGirlOnFox | Twitter


First, a little context. I hate Zooey Deschanel. Yeah, she played LouFest that one time and I know that some of you adore her, but I seriously can't stand her precious twee ways, her cotton skirts, her giant eyes and her abhorrent "singing." I know, I know: I have issues.

But until eight gazillion commercials featuring Prince and Zooey cuddling aired during the Super Bowl, I totally forgot that The Artist Formerly Known As Prince But Once Again Known As Prince was a huge fan of The New Girl and had worked his way onto an episode of the show. And here we freaking are.

See also: Check Out This Awesome Prince Fan Art

If you missed what surely ranks as one of the worst post-Super Bowl episodes of any show in the history of forever, you're lucky. But if you're curious about the purple crapfest, here's what went down:

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Grammys Highlights: Daft Punk Wins, Pharrell's Hat, Taylor Swift Has Sex with a Piano

Categories: LOLZ, Music Awards

Press Photo
Daft Punk

Here at RFT Music, we care about our readers. We want to bring you sunshine, not rain. Joy, not pain. That's why we sucked it up and watched the ridiculous 56th annual Grammy awards last night -- so you didn't have to.

No need to thank us -- we were happy to sit through four hours of hell to earn your love. We endured everything from Katy Perry's battle with the Harry Potter dementors to Robin Thicke corrupting Chicago (the band, not the city, though we imagine that happens too) to Daft Punk winning everything but refusing to say thank you. The entire Grammys telecast wasn't completely terrible, though. We also got to witness a performance from the two surviving Beatles and Kendrick Lamar making Imagine Dragons sound infinitely better than they really are.

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20 Signs You Spend Too Much Time in the Loop

Categories: LOLZ

Paul Sableman
Loop-dwellers have a different skill-set than regular visitors to other parts of the city. Their brains are wired differently now, with random thoughts and tidbits of information that could only come from too much time spent on the bustling stretch between the Church of Scientology and the Pageant.

How do we know? Well, RFT Headquarters is nestled on Delmar as well; right in the thick of it. We are living it, baby. Here are twenty signs you spend too much time in the Loop (like us).

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Watching My Dad Get Into Dubstep Was Painful

Categories: EDM, LOLZ

Courtesy of the author
My parents, three years before I was born.
Yes, those are my parents in that picture.

Their pet snake, Phallys, is no longer around, and thankfully my Dad has ceased wearing a chain linking a nose ring to his ear. (Click the photo to enlarge it.)

But, now 43, he remains a wild man, especially when it comes to music.

For almost my whole life he's been rocking out in nerdy fashion and trying to push his tastes on me. The results have often been disastrous.

Like the time he got into dubstep. Or the time our trip to Coachella together sent him to the hospital.

But let's backtrack for a second...

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'90s Cover Band the VCRs on the Found Footage Festival, Coming to St. Louis

Categories: LOLZ, Videodrone

The Found Footage Festival teaches us about so many topics.

Think the videocassette is dead? Think again.

On Wednesday, November 6, the Found Footage Festival makes its way to the Mad Art Gallery (2727 S. 12th Street). Hosts Joe Pickett and Nick Prueher have scavenged the country's thrift shops and garage sales for the best -- and worst -- of VHS culture, and they excitedly share their finds with the masses year after year. Bizarre celebrity exercise fads, training montages, dating videos and "stranger danger" prevention tips all are screened "Mystery Science Theatre 3000" style, giving audiences a hilarious multi-sensory blast from the past.

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Eight Hilarious Frankie Avalon TV and Movie Appearances

Categories: Fiesta!, LOLZ

Hey, Venus, make my wish come true.

Frankie Avalon is a legend. An icon. A damn big kahuna. Even at 73, the "Venus" singer still can make the ladies squeal.

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