Courtesy of Presidents of the United States of America.

​Just as Thanksgiving was a reminder of Irish rock band the Cranberries, today's national holiday is a celebration of George Washington, Abraham Lincoln and quirky Seattle alternative rock trio the Presidents Of The United States Of America. For your Presidents Day, enjoy this list of the six best POTUSA songs. Feel free to leave your favorite songs or your disappointment for the exclusion of "Lump" in the comments.

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You stole my heeeaaaaaaaaart.

​Valentine's Day has come again, meaning you are either celebrating your love life or hating on those who are. The holiday's backlash is the perfect vehicle for emo, the genre that strives on tragedy and melodrama. Here are the six most overwrought emo songs about Valentine's Day. If you have additions to this list, please engrave them on a candy heart, take a picture of yourself holding said heart in the mirror (make sure camera/phone is visible), upload it to your Friendster profile and and link the image in our comments.

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Keith Richards early in his career.

​February is Black History Month, the mere existence of which is a reminder that white people have spent a majority of America's existence being total dicks. When it comes to popular music, Caucasians are like a race comprising Winona Ryders who have no problems blatantly stealing. Here are the six worst musical thefts by white people.

6. Funk

Conceptually, there's nothing wrong with white people playing funk. There's something cross-culturally admirable about white kids showing reverence for James Brown, Sly Stone, George Clinton and the like. The issue is in execution. "White funk" has become an oxymoronic insult that defines the lameness that occurs when slap bass or scratchy guitar chords are abused. This is a slow epidemic, worsened in the early 1990s with the rise of jam bands and Red Hot Chili Peppers. Naturally, there are exceptions; the bookish Talking Heads made genuinely funky records (even before hiring half of Funkadelic as a back-up band), and black people are totally capable of playing white funk. But every time a suburban high schooler in a Pink Floyd shirt steps on a wah pedal and imitates the opening theme to Shaft, Bootsy Collins' platform shoes drop down an inch.

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Genesis changes direction.

​The key change is an essential device in the pop canon. Play song, move chords and melody up a half step or so, continue in new key until otherwise noted. It's simple, really, and often effective, which is why it has been employed to the point of abuse. Here are the six best key changes in pop music.

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​Sometimes we just need to take a break from a song. One can only hear the same words and melody so many times until it loses all meaning, like saying "sandals" or "popcorn" a few dozen times. Unfortunately, some great songs are never revisited -- maybe because of overkill, maybe because of the stigma of the artist. Since 2012 is still new, let us release our baggage of the past and give some tracks a second chance. Here are the six best songs worth reevaluating.

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​Lookout! Records officially shut down this month, which is not shocking news to anybody familiar with the long-running punk rock label. The company's financial struggles were well known to the public, and since 2006 it has only stayed in business to keep up its back catalog. In honor of the influential and prolific label, here are the six best Lookout! records releases. Feel free to note the absence of your favorite Boris The Sprinkler record in our comments.

6. The Mr. T Experience - Love Is Dead

Lookout! Records spent the 1990s as the principal enabler of Ramones-endebted pop punk. Screeching Weasel, Pansy Division and the Riverdales called the label home. So did The Mr. T Experience, who has mastered the art of the two minute, peppy, boy-loves-girl song by its 1996 album Love Is Dead. There's the she's-so-hot opener "Sackcloth And Ashes." There's the double entendre "I Just Wanna Do It With You," which is actually about doing stuff. There's a pretty heartfelt sentiment in its closing track when frontman Dr. Frank sings "I don't want to get screwed over by just anybody / You're the only one I want to get screwed over by." What separated MTX from the fold was its nerdy sense of humor, more of an awareness and acceptance of its refusal to mature than simple goofiness ala Nerf Herder or the Queers.

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​"Summer after high school when we first met / We make out in your Mustang to Radiohead"

Such is the opening couplet of "The One Who Got Away" by the inescapable Katy Perry. The namedrop is confusing. Radiohead is beyond famous at this point, so it's not necessarily a cred pull on Perry's part; if that was her goal, then "Ra Ra Riot" or "'Rounds' by Four Tet" fit just as well. "Met" and "head" are not exact rhymes, and Thom Yorke and company are not the first people you'd call upon to soundtrack a trip to first base. There are nuggets of sensuality in the band's catalog - even "Creep" or "Paranoid Android" could be sexy in some context - but for every kissable tune like "Fake Plastic Trees" or "House Of Cards," there's a track that's an audio equivalent of a cold shower. Here are the six least appropriate Radiohead songs to make out to.

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​The old model of popular music: dumb it down to the lowest common denominator and make it go down easy. Reviewing the Billboard and iTunes charts of this past year, the tides have obviously changed. In days when nobody is buying, the flashiest, loudest, weirdest thing sells -- how else can you explain Nicki Minaj? While these are generally exciting times in pop music, with pervious molds essentially demolished, things don't always go so well when anything goes. Here are the six most absurd songs of 2011.

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​There's no precise way to define a sweet guitar riff, much less a criteria for such categorization. A sweet riff is, like love or God or truly excellent barbecue, something only realized upon experience. This, the second year of the second decade of the twenty first decade of the modern calendar, was a very good year for riffology. For the second installment of our Nitpick Six year end wrap-up, here are the six sweetest riffs of 2011. Feel free to let us know what we missed in the comments.

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So smooth.

​Nobody saw this coming - 2011 may go down as the Year of the Saxophone. The instrument infiltrated many of the year's most creative albums, often showing up unannounced to push an already awesome song into unforeseen greatness. As the world begins looking back at the past twelve months in music, here are the six best uses of saxophone in 2011.

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