St. Louis Misfits Tribute Band We Bite Has a Hearse Now, Fittingly

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Nikki Strychnine
We Bite bassist Nikki Strychnine is dead serious about his new ride -- a 1990 Cadillac de Ville hearse.

In its continuing quest to emulate its horror-punk heroes the Misfits, the Gateway City's own We Bite acquired a hearse this week to cart gear from show to show. That's right: Instead of transporting dead bodies to the graveyard, this former funeral carriage is transporting music lovers to heaven.

Or to hell, as the Misfits tribute act would probably prefer.

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The Sopranos' Michael Imperioli Once Played in a Feelies-Related Indie-Rock Band

Categories: WTF

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Josh Miller / Flickr
As an actor, Michael Imperioli has made his name playing bad guys. Be it Spider from Goodfellas or Christopher from The Sopranos, he specializes in complex but deadly personalities. Generally, his characters are more interested in rising through the ranks of organized crime than pursuing their artistic interests. Sure, Christopher had pretensions toward a film career, but he also killed his screenwriter friend over a drunken slight. It's hard to imagine that person playing jangly indie-rock.

However, it turns out that Imperioli, the actor, once played in a band closely related to the Feelies.


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STL Scientologist Seeks Musicians to Create a "Band of Unprecedented Heights"

Categories: WTF

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Flickr Creative Commons: Paul Sableman and Andrew Hurley + MS Paint
This could be you.
Are you a musician in the St. Louis area? Do you play bass, drums or the keyboard? Do you believe that you are, in fact, an immortal being whose true nature has been forgotten and obscured following an attempted murder by the former dictator of the Galactic Confederacy, Xenu?

If you answered yes to all of these questions, then we have just one more: ARE YOU READY TO ROCK??

See also: Craigslist: Band Members Needed for "Black-Metal Surf Western" Project

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Foam's P.A. Stolen On Grand Boulevard Sunday Evening

Categories: WTF

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Photo by Mabel Suen
Located on the corner of Cherokee and Jefferson, Foam offers coffee, beer and live music every day but Sunday.

"My anger has been replaced by immense gratitude for my gracious friends and this amazing community of musicians," says Mic Boshans, owner of Foam Coffee & Beer. Following the theft of Foam's P.A., an estimated $1,200 in audio equipment, local musician Eric Hall has lent the venue his own personal gear so Boshans can continue to host live events. A benefit show to replace the stolen items will take place at Foam on February 6 with live performances by Golden Curls, Whiskey Ginger, John Krane, and Hands and Feet, with more artists to be announced.

See also: Humdrum's Mic Boshans Takes Over Cherokee Street's Foam Coffee & Beer


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Check Out the Brutal Vocals On This 66-Year-Old "Grindcore Grandma"

Categories: WTF

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Screengrab via YouTube
The newest grindcore vocalist who will save us all.
Grindcore fans, rejoice. Your savior has arrived in the most unlikely of forms. Have you or your friends lamented lately that there just doesn't seem to be any great grindcore left anymore, much less great vocalists? It seems like the genre has taken a real nosedive in recent years.

That's all about to change, thanks to the band Corrupt Leaders, an upcoming young grind band out of Canada who has finally found the messiah to lead the genre back to its rightful place atop the throne of metal subdivisions: Mom.

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Laughing at Scott Stapp's Downward Spiral Makes You Even Worse Than Creed

Categories: WTF

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via Stapp's official website
Mental illness isn't funny, you jerks.
In case you haven't been flooded with hundreds of cheering reposts on your social-media feeds, Scott Stapp is having a hard time.

When bad things happen, people laugh. Whether it's out of some sort of genuine happiness for the pain of someone that isn't you or just as a way to cope with an impossibly sad world, we've all laughed at a video of something we probably shouldn't have. Maybe it was that video of the people being thrown around on the boat after going too fast. Or perhaps it was the legendary news reporter who tripped and fell on her face while stepping on grapes at a vineyard. Call it the Hans Moleman "Football in the Groin" effect, if you will.

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We Watched the American Country Countdown Awards So You Wouldn't Have To

Categories: WTF

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Because the world needed another country music awards show, apparently.
Because you're a self-respecting human with some shred of dignity, you probably didn't spend two hours of your life last night sitting in front of the TV, drinking White Russians and watching the first-ever American Country Countdown Awards (2014's fourth televised awards show celebrating the country music industry, in case anyone's counting). But if you had, here are some thoughts that might've crossed your mind.

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Oliver Sain's Former Studio Plundered for Instruments, Scrap Metal

Categories: WTF

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Press photo
The late, great Oliver Sain with his sax.
In yet another case of thieves pillaging the St. Louis music community, a former recording studio of the late St. Louis musician Oliver Sain has been looted.

Sain was a renowned saxophonist, band leader, producer, composer and arranger who, after founding Archway Studios in 1965, recorded the likes of Ike and Tina Turner, Johnnie Johnson, Fontella Bass and hundreds of other blues and R&B artists at his north-city studio.

See also: Tour Van Break-Ins Have St. Louis in Music-Industry Crosshairs

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Why Taylor Swift's "Welcome to New York" Is Bullshit

Categories: WTF

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Via
Princess Swift looking out over her fairy-tale land of BS.
By Dave Colon

The first thing you notice about Taylor Swift's New York is that the East River has somehow been turned into a sixteen-mile-long flowing trench of frozen yogurt. Is it Pinkberry? Is it Red Mango? It's impossible to tell, but don't get close enough to find out, because if you fall in, there's no escaping. It's just frozen yogurt in your nose and your ears and your eyes until everything becomes a cloyingly sweet nothingness.

See also: I Love Taylor Swift, But Her New Album Sounds Terrible and I Might Hate It

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Screeching Weasel Singer Challenges CM Punk To Punch Women Like He Did

Categories: WTF

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Marc Gaertner via Recess Records
Ben Weasel, not punching any women at the moment.
I've never had an interest in Screeching Weasel, as I don't listen to punk music that comes off like it was meant to be the soundtrack of a straight-to-video film about kids rollerblading in a shopping-mall parking garage. I listened to Boogadaboogadaboogada! a few times (primarily just so I could say I knew what the band sounded like) and I've gotten drunk with a pal of mine who has a tattoo of the group's iconic Fonzie-rat-looking character. (He's a good guy who also collects vintage board games -- cheesy tattoo be damned.)

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