Blogs

Is there such thing as a "virtual wake"?

After the highway accident that killed St. Louis Cardinals relief pitcher Josh Hancock early yesterday morning, Larry Borowsky's Cardinals blog vivaelbirdos.com hosted what could only be described as a wake.

Read Larry's riff on the "meaninglessness" of sports and fandom here.

Then jump back to the comments thread that accompanied yesterday's entry to see how hardcore Cards fans -- these are folks all over the world, many of whom "watch" the Redbirds via mlb.com's "Gameday" and, simultaneously, exchange running commentaries on the game -- shared their grief, amid visits from fans from rival teams, virtually all of whom showed remarkable class.

You can view yesterday's Cardinals' press conference here. And of course, the St. Louis Post-Dispatch offers umpteen points of view and forums for feedback. An example of the former is Bernie Miklasz' column today. For the latter you need look no further than the opening salvo on the Talk of the Day forum.

-Tom Finkel

Gerry Fraley had a pretty good (if predictable) story in yesterday's St. Louis Post-Dispatch about the prevalence of so-called smokeless tobacco among major leaguers. I say predictable because the story was undoubtedly inspired by St. Louis Cardinals phenom Chris Duncan, whose prodigious output at the plate is rivaled only by the prodigious wad that's always present between, as the dippers used to say, his cheek and gum.

Fraley devotes a portion of the story to Major League Baseball's official stance on Skoal, Red Man and the like:

MLB would like to rid the game of tobacco's stain.

Clubs cannot provide tobacco to players, a radical change from the days when clubhouses brimmed with cartons of cigarettes, pouches of tobacco and tins of snuff.

In 1993, MLB banned the use of tobacco by all minor-leaguers not on 40-man major-league rosters and therefore not represented by the Major League Baseball Players Association. MLB hoped the bottom-up approach would wean players from tobacco before they reached the majors.

With that in mind, here's an interesting image from across the pond:

While making note of the MLB logo's proximity to the can o' snuff, don't fail to notice the small print:

Not to cast any aspersions at Covee, which, by all appearances, is one kickass Dutch sporting-goods store -- and a company that promptly got back to me when I asked them about the trade in American snuff and their association with MLB.

"We have been in business for over 30 years," Covee's Edwin Corpeleijn writes via e-mail. "We know several people within the MLB organization. They know we have the logo on the site.... I was told, that as long as we keep the colors the same, it is no problem."

As for the market for Copenhagen in the Netherlands, writes Corpeleijn: "Some players like to have the chewing tobacco, so we buy it. I have never tried it and I will never try it, but since it is not prohibited here, we just sell it to satisfy the customer's needs. We have the pay 275% tobacco tax on these items, but players here do not seem to mind."

-Tom Finkel

Anthony La Russa Jr. has managed 4,306 games in his MLB career as of April 25, 2007. He’s cultivated a reputation as a cerebral manager in that time. It’s his stoic demeanor, his shades (worn even during night games), the methodical way he works a game. La Russa’s apparent low-key nature has kept many an old-school baseball fan from embracing the professorial skipper. He’s too nuts and bolts, not enough blood and guts. Look at how he let Kenny “Sticky Fingers” Rogers slide in last season’s World Series — would Earl Weaver have taken that sort of shit with nary a peep?

Lou Piniella has managed 2,960 games in his career. Piniella’s reputation is that of a powder keg; The man known as “Sweet Lou” is famous for his spit-flecked tirades, base throwing and the air-curdling vitriol of his swearing. An angry Piniella is a sight to behold. In fact, and we’re not ashamed to admit it, just the possibility of witnessing Piniella’s incandescent rage makes a little pee trickle down our leg every time he stands up suddenly in the dugout.

And yet, La Russa has been thrown out of more games than Piniella, according to the statistics in the just-released The SABR Baseball List & Record Book. See?

1. Bobby Cox - 123 ejections
2. John McGraw - 117 ejections
3. Earl Weaver - 97 ejections
4. Leo Durocher - 95 ejections
5. Frankie Frisch - 82 ejections
6. Paul Richards - 80 ejections
7. Tony La Russa - 73 ejections
8. Clark Griffith - 62 ejections
9. Joe Torre - 58 ejections
10. Lou Piniella - 57 ejections

"...[D]onning togas and hamming it up for the camera outside of a Greek eatery, all before flocking to the closest drug store in search of a tube of Preparation H"??

So that's what they mean by "Greek Style"!

-Unreal

Seems like only yesterday our little Mikey was driving off into the sunset in his Buick, headed back to his native Seattle to pursue his destiny.

A year later, Seely has found his true calling. You can read about it here -- suffice to say it involves two of the World's Strongest Men and three four-and-a-half-pound sirloin steaks, not to mention raspberry sherbet.

-Unreal

P.S.: Overcome by a wave of nostalgia, Unreal is reminded of our own feed-the-piehole efforts, in particular the time we took on Sonya "The Black Widow" Thomas in a T-rav eating contest (scroll down to last item).

armchairgm.com asks: "Mac or Bonds: Who Roided It Up Better?" -- and evaluates the pair via their baseball cards.

-Unreal

A special musical edition!

-Unreal

You're Bill Wyman, dammit. You held down the bottom end for the quote-unquote World's Greatest Rock and Roll Band for 31 years. What to do, what to do?

Write the ol' memoir? Check.

Speaking engagements? Sure!

Mentor the youth? Most definitely.

Self-employed metal detector? Why, obviously.

In a move that must have Gene Simmons positively chagrined that he missed this marketing opportunity, Wyman has come out with his own line of signature metal detectors. Why? Because, as Wyman himself states on his informative Web site (under the header "Bill Wyman -- History Detective"):

"When I'm detecting I really enjoy the peace and quiet of being out in the fields; the fresh air, hearing the birds sing and all the exercise."

O...K.... We'll bite. Are you hard up for money, Bill?

"I've found hundreds of coins going back to Roman Britain, as well as blades from 3,000 years ago. I've also found gold coins from the 1300s which are worth £1,000 each. But I'm not interested in their monetary value, it's the history that's important to me," Wyman asserts in his online love letter to the metal detector.

And we believe him. Not content with being one of the greatest, unobtrusive and yet effective bassists of all time, Wyman also adheres to a similar code when detecting. Seriously. He has even posted the National Council for Metal Detecting "Code of Conduct," which stresses being as polite and unassuming a treasure hunter as is humanly possible through nine points of conduct. Only the tenth point on the list strikes a dangerous tone: "Never miss an opportunity to explain your hobby to anyone who asks about it."

So you've been warned. If you see Wyman wandering about your back yard, don't ask him what he's doing, or you'll get a treatise on the wonders of metal detecting.

Of course, if you do look up from your barbecue grill this weekend and discover Wyman wandering through your back yard, he might be undertaking research for his other going concern: Bill Wyman's Sticky Fingers Café.

Check out the Half Rack Of Ribs on the "Starters" menu (cleverly linked through the "Beggars Banquet" header): "Tender St. Louis style baby back ribs smothered in our bbq sauce served with coleslaw. £7.45."

Evidently the History Detective didn't do the legwork for his menu; that should read: "Grocery store-pork butt soaked in Maull's and grilled within an inch of its life," if it's going to be St. Louis-style. But hey, if he finds that St. Joseph icon buried back in 1978, we'll call it even.

-Paul Friswold

Not totally satisfied with your weekend itinerary? Just check out Go!, our regular feature highlighting everything from rock shows to art openings, from delicious dishes to hidden-gem hangouts.

Friday, 4/20
Hot Time in the City Tonight: Third Degree Glass Factory, home of the hottest damn glass in town, throws wide its doors and invites one and all to enjoy a little live music (courtesy of Barefoot Jones), the art of Henryk Ptasiewicz and Marlene Lewis, and the glory that is the cash bar. There’s also a good chance of a little fire-spinning and some high-end glass-blowing. Admission is free.

Get Out to Way Out: Local foursome the Hibernauts mix the urgency of post-punk with dreamy, echo-laden guitar lines. They will share the stage with Tape Deck Sonata and the Sex Robots at the Way Out Club (2525 S. Jefferson Avenue) tonight.

Saturday, 4/21

Fish Shtick: We’ve heard of the Egyptian Magician and the Mathemagician, but we’ve never seen the Fishin’ Magicians. So we’re goin’ to Powder Valley Conservation Nature Center (11715 Cragwold Road, Kirkwood; call 314-301-1500) at 1 p.m. to find out if they can make our crappie disappear — or at least stop stinking up the office.

There Aren’t Many Afghan Restaurants in St. Louis: But you don’t need many, when you have Sameem. Try the muntoo.

Sunday, 4/22

M-m-m-m-MOZART, Son! The Midwest Lyric Opera Company performs Mozart’s one-act comic operetta “The Impresario” in English at 2 p.m. at
All Saints Catholic Church (6403 Clemens Avenue, University City). And if that ain’t enough Mozart for you, they get down with some of Wolfie’s greatest arias as well. Tickets are $10 to $15 and are available at the door.

Lady's Got Attitude: Kim Massie releases her new CD, Attitude (recorded live at Jazz at the Bistro), with a concert at the Sheldon Concert Hall (3648 Washington Avenue). Tickets range from $20 to $50, and the show begins at 5 p.m.

"The Onymous"

www.theonymous.com

Author: The Onymous

About the blogger: The Onymous loves his wife and his daughter, is pretty tolerant of the cats and uses the word "awesome" way too much. He also recently underwent a vasectomy.

Recent Highlights (April 7) give it to me i throw it away

Post op report number one: 24 hours

The procedure was quick. It was very hot in the room from all the lights. I hopped up on the table, which is basically the same table that they use for OB/GYN visits. The only pain was the shots (one for each side), I didn't feel the cutting or the cauterizing. When I left my legs were a little sore from the muscles being tense the whole time (I'm the same way at the dentist, it's purely psychological). I was slightly lightheaded and nauseous, but that could have been from hunger as much as anything as I'd had both a light breakfast and a light lunch.

The afternoon and evening of the operation I slept most of the time. I got up for dinner and to watch Boo while Mae took her shower.

Pain? Very little. There's some tenderness of course, and there is an occasional sharp pain when I move too quickly or try to do something I shouldn't (or more precisely when my 3 year old tries to climb on me). I took Motrin for the first 18 hours, but nothing since.

It's a bit surprising how much you use your groin muscles for without being aware of it. It's almost harder to transition to sitting from standing than vice versa.

Athletic supporters feel very very strange if you aren't used to wearing them.

(April 8): My balls feel like a pair of maracas

In which we experience the after effects of a vasectomy.

Athletic supporters were not designed to be worn 24/7. At this point the discomfort from the supporter is more of an issue than the discomfort from the procedure. There is a mild ache in the general region of the surgery intermittently. There is constant irritation where all of the straps of the supporter are creating pressure.

Someone asked if it hurt to urinate. It does not. It's a little tricky in terms of the dressing, but it doesn't hurt at all and didn't at any point post procedure.

That is all for now. I will update again tomorrow after a dressing change.

Know of an Unreal-worthy local blog? Send the URL to Unreal.

-Unreal

Fans of four-color sequential art (and related fields of comic book endeavor), rejoice! Star Clipper Comics, our lovely next-door neighbor — whom we view with the same sort of lust and longing as you do that hot neighbor who wears the bikini top to walk her dogs — has decided to bite the bullet and open an art gallery.

Star Clipper has hosted a couple of art shows in the past few years, most notably the first-ever St. Louis Munny Show. The layout of the store dictated that the little vinyl dudes had to be displayed on a shelf running across the back third of the shop for that one. The new gallery will be a definite improvement, as you can mill about, examining the art, without having to be “’scuse me’d” by the clientele as they shop. Construction on the gallery is not yet complete, but work is scheduled to be done by May 5 or so, and the shop is open for business as usual while work goes on. (Time-lapse photography of the work available here). Timing is key, as the second St. Louis Munny Show is scheduled as the inaugural exhibition at the Star Clipper Gallery, and it’s on the calendar for May 18.

After that show closes (May 31), Star Clipper co-captains Ben and A.J. hope to have regular shows in the gallery. Shows like, oh, let’s say...comic-book related? Like maybe all of those panels you’ve created for your own, as-yet-to-be-published book, Sensitive Weightlifter? Contact gallery manager May Tran (may AT starclipper DOT com) for info on getting your work shown; and don’t forget to thank everybody at Star Clipper for doing this. St. Louis is exceptionally fortunate to have a comic shop that cares enough about the art form to put up their floor space and cash in such a selfless fashion.

-Paul Friswold

After a disappointing second-place finish on a sloppy track on March 31, Unreal's (vicariously, anyhow) Thoroughbred, River Front Times, won a six-furlong race in the slop at Fairmount Park this past Saturday night under jockey Camilo Pitty.

Unreal, who'd cheered on RFT to his maiden win at Fairmount back on March 6, was not on hand for our pony's second score, because it was raining like hell and cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey.

Too damn bad, as RFT, owned by top Fairmount owner Lou O'Brien and trained by top Fairmount trainer Ralph Martinez, went off at odds of 5-2 and returned $7.20 on a $2 wager.

Son of a bitch.

According to the Equibase Company's official chart of the race, "RIVER FRONT TIMES away somewhat slowly, was rated from inside, roused along the rail on the turn, steadily progressed under a drive and got the advantage in the waning yards."

The time of the race, a $3,200 claiming event for non-winners of two races, was 1:13.80. Jonesin' Rage, trained by legendary Fairmount Park jockey Dave Gall, finished second to complete a $35 exacta that Unreal surely would have bet if we'd been there instead of home, drinking too much.

In case you've been sleeping under a rock, River Front Times came into being two years ago, when Unreal, as part of our very complex investment strategy, asked O'Brien, the protagonist of this 2003 feature story by then-staff writer Mike Seely, how much he'd charge us to rename a horse after our source of income. The owner initially quoted us a price of $1 million but settled for $100, the fee the Jockey Club charges to process a name-change. That's how a two-year-old colt he'd recently purchased named Pollys Jaybird became River Front Times.

Now that RFT has won at this level, he'll face tougher company next time out. We'll update this post as soon as we hook up with O'Brien.

[Update 4-19-07 1:45 p.m.] Lou O'Brien says he's very pleased with RFT's progress. "He's sound, very healthy," says the owner. "His problem has always been that he's a big play-baby. He's starting to grow up a little bit. He was very green. He's showing some maturity now: knuckling down, paying attention."

And what's next for River Front Times? "Probably raise the [claiming] price, up to four or five thousand. The main thing is we've got him going in the right direction. We don't want to overwhelm him competitively. We have a plan for every horse. As their performance level increases, we move them up. We'll see how he progresses."

Depending on how the horse does, O'Brien might ultimately opt to ship him to Hoosier Park, outside Indianapolis. "We'll see. I don't know if I'm gonna run him here or if I'm going to take him to Indiana," he says. "We've got to run him where we can make the most money." Whatever the case, O'Brien says we can expect to see RFT at Fairmount "at least until this screwball meet's over."

-Unreal

Brian Sumers had a good story in the Post yesterday about the fate of an unknown number of St. Louis Public Schools students who decide to transfer to county schools this August. Because the city district lost its state accreditation, SLPS kids have the right to enroll in any county schools that agree to accept them as tuition students. As Sumers' story points out, students will be allowed to play varsity sports right out of the gate.

Under Missouri State High School Activities Association (MSHSAA) bylaws, transfer students must sit out 365 days of a sport in which they held a spot on a roster at their previous school -- unless their situation falls under one of nine exceptions, including "transfer from unaccredited public school."

Athletics can't motivate the school switch, though. So Coach X from the county can't entice Star Quarterback Y from a city school to enroll at the suburban school. And the student athletes can't transfer specifically for the opportunity to suit up for a county outfit, whether a coach approached them or not. In those cases, theoretically, the kids would lose eligibility.

Although the Post reports that MSHSAA intends to "police" the situation, MSHSAA spokesman Rick Kindhart says the agency hasn't unveiled any new means to do so. In effect, then, the same procedures will hold: The principal of the sending SLPS school must sign off on a transfer form either endorsing or questioning the student's move. If the principal were to allege an athletics-motivated transfer, MSHSAA would step in to investigate.

Kindhart does not anticipate an exodus "of epic proportions" and an accompanying heap of transfer applications on the doorstep of MSHSAA's Columbia headquarters. That hasn't happened in other unaccredited districts, Kindhart points out.

MSHSAA receives 1,600 to 1,800 transfer applications a year, according to the Post story, and investigates in about 20 cases.

That's news.

Really, it is.

Last year, in the process of putting together our "Basketball By the Book" series, we tried for months to get these numbers from MSHSAA, only to be told -- repeatedly -- that such stats were impossible to calculate.

Kindhart now says that thanks to technological changes in the past year, a lot more information is available.

-Kristen Hinman

Prosecutors added fresh charges Monday to the case against alleged kidnapper Michael Devlin. In an indictment unveiled April 16, Washington County Prosecutor John Rupp alleged that Devlin, who has been charged in several jurisdictions for his role in the dual kidnappings of Shawn Hornbeck and William "Ben" Ownby, "attempted to kill S.H. by suffocation" after he abducted the boy from near his Richwoods, Missouri, home on October 6, 2002. The indictment does not identify the victim as Shawn Hornbeck but refers to the minor by the initials S.H.

The indictment charges that after abducting Hornbeck, who was eleven years old at the time, the former pizzeria worker "attempted forcible sodomy" by "pulling down his pants and placing his penis close to S.H.'s rectum." The indictment charges Devlin with three counts of forcible sodomy, alleging the 41-year-old Kirkwood man placed "his hand on S.H.'s penis," forced the boy to perform oral sex and penetrated him anally.

Although it is believed that Devlin kept the boy in his Kirkwood apartment, the indictment asserts that Devlin committed these crimes somewhere in Washington County between October 6, 2002 and November 7, 2002.

Washington County prosecutor Rupp also included two previous charges: one count of kidnapping and one count of armed criminal action, alleging that Devlin used a gun when he kidnapped Hornbeck.

The Washington County charges are the most explicit, but Rupp is not the first prosecutor to level charges of sexual misconduct against Devlin:

• On February 5 St. Louis County Prosecuting Attorney Robert McCulloch charged Devlin with 69 counts of forcible sodomy and two counts of kidnapping.

• On March 1 a federal grand jury charged him with four felony counts of producing child pornography and two felony counts of transporting a minor for criminal sex acts.

• Devlin also faces one count of kidnapping in Franklin County, where he allegedly abducted Ben Ownby on January 8 of this year.

Investigators found Hornbeck and Ownby inside Devlin's Kirkwood apartment on January 12. Although prosecutors say Devlin has admitted to some of the kidnapping charges, he has entered pleas of "not guilty" in each jurisdiction.

Devlin is being held in the Franklin County jail on $1 million cash bond. He faces multiple life sentences.

-Malcolm Gay