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The St. Louis Cardinals are trying to get us pumped for the upcoming season, during which we'll likely watch the "new-look Cards" finish with a losing record. And it kills me to say that. Especially after a decade-plus of stretch drives, one National League pennant and a World Series championship.

The bloom of contention is, as the poets say, off the rose. The front office has undergone changes; two executives, John Mozeliak and Bill DeWitt III, got promotions. The team on the field looks different too (as you may have read).

But with lowered expectations come funny commercials!

Check out these slightly weird ads. They don't exactly conjure feelings of an October run or a 100-win season. They do, however, make me long for summer.

The organization's new slogan, "Play Like a Cardinal," is a little fuzzily defined. Judging from these commericals, it might translate to: Share a hot dog with a friend, play hard and be sure to include the mascot in team warm-ups.

My favorite spot stars pitchers Adam Wainwright and Jason Isringhausen and a hot dog. The two aren't afraid to share a baseball during a game, and apparently also are unfazed by wiener-swapping:

Here we have Fredbird doing the high-knee jog with the team. To those who don't see the mascot every...single...freaking...day on television in St. Louis during the baseball season, the guest spot might seem novel. Well, hell, the kids love him:

A third spot has Rick Ankiel professing that he isn't just a pitcher. And he is only sort of a right fielder. Rest assured he is 100 percent "ballplayer," though:

-Nick Lucchesi