Blogs

Lately, one of the hot topics around the various Internet message boards, talk radio and, I'm sure, the good old-fashioned water cooler, is Skip Schumaker.

More specifically, the fact that Schumaker played shortstop in school. Given the Cardinals' weakness in the middle infield, why not just move Skip on in there? Stick him at short or second base, and watch the offense just take off. Seems like a good idea, right?

Well, I'm here to rain on everybody's parade. There's very, very little chance (and by that I mean pretty much zero) that's ever going to happen.

SS won't be at SS.

Last night was Todd Wellemeyer's best start of the year. That's right, you heard me. Four runs, high pitch counts, getting knocked around all over the park. Best start of the year.

Let me explain. Up to this point in the season, Wellemeyer has had excellent command of his full arsenal of pitches. Each time he's taken the mound, we've all been impressed with how much better his control is this year than in the past. He's been able to spot his pitches for strikes, and he's had the movement and velocity to get plenty of swings and misses, even with just his fastball.

Last night, he didn't have any of that.

Tim and Eric Awesome Tour...Great Job!

I'm pretty damn sure Tim Heidecker knows karate; for Christ's sake, he held his breath for thirty minutes. If that doesn't say karate master, well, then you must know something I don't.

That needs a bit of background, I suppose. Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim were kind enough to grace St. Louis with their presence Monday night, or at least grace the capacity crowd at Off Broadway with hot dogs, pizza and vomit. Many of you will know those two from their show Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! which airs on Cartoon Network's Adult Swim, or from their previous show Tom Goes to the Mayor, also on Adult Swim. Their comedy has been likened to the works of Andy Kaufman and Monty Python due to its absurd nature.

You know, the Cards-Cubs rivalry tends to get all of the press around these here parts, but I much prefer the rivalry with the Astros.

Over the weekend, we saw again a prime example of why this is one of the truly great, and truly underappreciated, rivalries in all of baseball. You put Houston and St. Louis on the field, and no matter what time of the year it is, no matter where the teams stand relative to each other and the division, you have Instant October. I suppose the rivalry between the Cubs and Cardinals may very well get back to being a truly great one, if the little bears' success proves to be less fleeting than that of 2003, but for now, I'll take Cards-'Stros any day.

The end of season three of MTV reality show Rob and Big left loyal fans asking a lot of questions.

What happened to the mini-horse?

Who was going to keep Meaty?

Will Rob and Big ever be back together on screen?

Another weekend behind us, St. Louisans had plenty of opportunities to see the stars this weekend.

St. Louis played host to Alicia Keys, Van Halen and Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, among other musical acts.

Shae Moseley was at The Pageant on Friday to see Black Rebel Motorcycle Club and has a recap; music editor Annie Zaleski has photos.

On Saturday night, Van Halen finally made it to St. Louis (after canceling back in October), and played a sold-out show at the Scottrade Center. Panama! Check out these photos by Lauren Winchester. And read how Van Halen's show was in this review by Annie Zaleski. The set list is included in the review for you fans.

Also on Saturday, Christopher "Big Black" Boykin of MTV's Rob and Big reality show, met with fans at Club Buca on Laclede's Landing. We have a Q&A with the large reality show star here. See photos here.

Members of the KISS Army and lovers of so-bad-it's-good '70s kitsch were served a heaping, stinking scoop of comedic theater Friday night at the Regional Arts Commission.

The St. Louis Shakespeare's Magic Smoking Monkey Theatre production of KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park debuted at the Regional Arts Commission on Delmar Boulevard.

Blue-haired rebels to pseudo-intellectual hipsters, and a smattering of the middle-age attendees watched the theatrical production of the made-for-TV movie, originally released in 1978.

Hidden away in the side-room of the studio theater was a treat for the ears, nose and throat – if you like to sing along and the smell of sweat in the evening.

The story of KISS Meets loosely follows Phantom of the Opera. Only in the KISS version, the setting is...wait for it...a theme park.

Here is the second installment of our 2008 Major League Baseball mock draft by sports blogger Aaron Schafer. He's running down the who the top fifteen teams could pick in the first round. The following are picks six through ten. Look for picks eleven through fifteen in the coming days. For the top five picks, click here. The draft will be held June 5 and 6.

6. Florida Marlins: Yonder Alonso, First Base, University of Miami The Marlins are a tough one. At this point, all of the biggest bats are still on the board, and the Marlins look to be in a position to take advantage. Florida usually does a nice job drafting, but they're always on a budget. It's not as severe in the draft as at the major league level, but they're still always looking to save money. They don't have much of a history of dealing with Boras draftees, so I doubt they would take an Eric Hosmer, the biggest high school bat, and Kyle Skipworth, the high school catcher, apparently has huge bonus demands as well, so I don't really see that as a great fit.

I think Florida goes with a bat here, and takes a local guy who's a bit less expensive than some of the other high profile offensive players. Yonder Alonso still offers an advanced, polished bat, with a stroke that has a bit of Will Clark in it, and may be versatile enough to play a little outfield if necessary. More likely, though, he stays at first and moves quickly through a system that's a little light on offensive talent and arrives in the big leagues as soon as September of '09.

Apparently, wait in line for a while.

Thursday was Free Burrito Day at the newly opened Chipotle, which is a burrito's throw away from the RFT headquarters. The line was getting ridiculous around 5 p.m. when this photo was taken.

Here's a higher resolution photo.

Not totally satisfied with your weekend itinerary? Never fear, Go! is here! This regular feature highlights everything from rock shows to art openings, from delicious dishes to hidden-gem hangouts. Here's a listing of the weekend's concerts, from A to Z.

Friday, 4/25

Benefit-Style Barbecue: Right when your tum-tum begins a-growlin', tell it to settle down because some delicious barbecue will be making its way down your digestive tract in a few. And it won't be just any old delicious barbecue, this sweet meat will come from The 2008 Kickoff Barbecue in Kiener Plaza at Seventh and Market streets downtown. The 10 a.m.-to-6 p.m. cookout will benefit Annie Malone Children and Family Service Center, a group providing social services, educational programs, advocacy and entrepreneurship to improve life in the community. For more information, call 314-531-0120.

Neighborhood Artists: PSTL Window Gallery at Pace Framing, (632 North Grand Boulevard; 314-531-4304) is celebrating the work of nearby artists (and by nearby, we mean within walking distance from the gallery). Between the hours of 6 and 9 p.m., come together at this free, open-to-the-public reception to appreciate small-scale works created by 12 studio artists of the Grand Center district. And if you can't make it tonight, this exhibit is on display through May 30. Gallery hours are Tuesday through Saturday, 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. For more art gallery openings and shows, check out Malcolm Gay's St. Louis Art Capsules.

Since I moved to St. Louis less than a year ago, I've been in three minor car accidents, none of which were my fault. My ride was hit while it was parked near the Loop, I was rear-ended at a stop light, and, most recently, one of those airport parking shuttles changed lanes without checking its blind spot and clipped my passenger side doors. Now I'm on a first name basis with the guys at the body shop.

I know it's cliché to say when you move somewhere new that the drivers are terrible, but I think I have a pretty legitimate case here. Given my experience, I can confidently contend that Missourians drive like savages.

I have often asked why. Initially I speculated the Mad Max impersonations were the result of a city-wide frustration at having so many useless stop signs and inefficient traffic lights. As I've gotten to know the area, however, I have come to strongly believe that everybody is driving shit-faced. With the piss-poor public transit and cab service and the city's unquenchable thirst for Budweiser, I always thought I had a pretty sound hypothesis.

On Wednesday, came vindication. The federal Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration released the results of a survey of more than 127,000 people across the nation, asking if they'd driven under the influence in the past three years.

With the NFL Draft coming up this weekend, and all the surprises seemingly gone from the top teams, let's look ahead to baseball.

But first, on the Cardinals game last night: I'll sum up last night's game very succinctly. The offense jumped on Ian Snell early, and then went to sleep. Anthony Reyes didn't pitch very well, and his defense let him down. That's about it. When you lose to the Pirates, there's not a whole lot productive to say. So I won't.

It's almost May, and all of the baseball sites are putting up their mock drafts for June. A couple of good ones to check out:

Future Redbirds- Cardinal-centric.

Saber Scouting- one of the best new scouting sites on the web; check it out.

Both have gone up in just the last couple of days, and are great reads.

So, I thought I would throw my hat into the ring. I'm actually a draft junkie, and not just in baseball. I'm only a casual football fan; if the Rams aren't good, I don't particularly follow the sport that closely. However, I can tell you damn near everything about the draft and what each team's needs are, even when I haven't exactly, you know, ''heard'' of the team in question. It's very strange.

Here are my first fifteen picks in June. I'm only doing the first fifteen because it becomes incredibly complex the further you go, and is almost never at all accurate at that point. Also, that's far enough to get to the Cardinals, and that's what I most care about. I'm going to do five picks at a time; otherwise the column would quickly become completely unwieldy. It probably will be anyway; let's not shit ourselves here.

I've tried to take into account things like the team in question's drafting patterns and history; I also look at their system to see where they may be strong or unusually thin. It's as thorough as I am with anything in life; sad but true.

Anyway, on to the crystal ball…

In October 2007, the American Planning Association named the Delmar Loop, ''One of Ten Great Streets in America.''

In handing out the award, the non-profit urban planning group lauded the University City street's revitalization in the past few decades and called the Boulevard, ''a vibrant place with a character all its own.''

Not surprisingly, officials at city hall were ecstatic about receiving the honor.

''It was a marketing person's dream,'' says Monica McFee, the city's public relations director. ''You can't pay for advertising like that.''

What University City officials could pay for were banners laying claim to their title. McFee says that the city purchased three signs to hang in conjunction with the Loop In Motion festival in October 2007. One was hung in front of city hall and another spanned Delmar at Westgate Avenue. McFee says U-City wanted the third to be displayed somewhere in the east end of the Loop.

Since the border between the municipality and the City of St. Louis is Skinker Boulevard, they had to find another organization willing to display the banner. Eventually they sold one of the posters to the East Loop Business Association, who hung the sign in front of a vacant lot near Rosedale Avenue.

While the first two signs came down shortly after the Loop festival, the third has remained. The lot where it hangs has gradually accumulated enough litter, rainwater, and shoddy fencing to rival Ballpark Village. Not exactly the best representation of what the Planning Association described as the Loop's ''prosperity and vitality.''

On Tuesday morning, Gabe Gross was traded from the Milwaukee Brewers to the Tampa Bay Rays.

He then went out and scored the winning run in the Brewers twelve-inning, nine to eight victory over the Cardinals.

There's a problem with that.

I've yet to come across a hard-and-fast rule that determines when a player is eligible, and when he is not. According to most sources, Gross was thought to be unavailable for the game yesterday, because he was technically no longer a member of the Brewers. If that is the case, then the Brewers may very well find themselves in the position of facing a possible forfeit.

Again, the rules seem very vague on all of this, but as far as I can tell, if a team uses a player who is not eligible to player in a game, then they should be forced to forfeit the game. A team forfeiting a game because of a player's eligibility is rare, but it happens. It happened last year in the Cardinals organization.

There are a bunch of other issues here, of course, chief among them exactly when the deal for Gross was finalized; there's definitely a chance that it wasn't completely done until after the game began. However, given that the media seemed to know that Gross had been dealt before yesterday's contest, that argument seems to be on a little shaky ground, to say the least.

Got Worms?

Ballpark Village may be a big, wet hole, but that doesn't mean it's closed for business.