Blogs

Bar of the Week: Krueger's Bar and Grill
Where: 7374 Forsyth Boulevard, Clayton.

It seems mandatory that every neighborhood in St. Louis must have its own dive bar.

You know, a dive bar; outdated decor, cheap drinks, sketchy patrons, nothin' fancy. Ever wonder what Clayton's dive bar might be like? We did.

Imagination took hold -- would the martinis at this hypothetical dive bar set you back $12 instead of $18? The nose wrinkles at the thought, "Eww, paupers!"

Would you have to park your own car?

Would the smell of grease ruin your dry-clean only Armani?

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What You Missed: A screening of Watermelon Man, by Melvin Van Peebles, at the Schlafly Bottleworks.
When: Wednesday, August 6 at 8p.m.

"It was the most bizarre movie I've seen in awhile," said Randi, a slightly dazed young film goer. Randi and a room full of about fifty others had just finished a screening of Watermelon Man, by Melvin Van Peebles. Shown inside the Schlafly Bottleworks, the movie was a part of the Webster University Film Series and the last Strange Brew Festival film of the summer. The 1970s racial satire was bizarre, but also hilarious and sadly, still very relevant.

This is how the event went down:

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Bar of the Week: Cat's Meow
Where: 2600 S. 11th Street
www.catsmeowstl.com

"So what's in the Panty Remover?"

With that innocent question, a few gentlemen at the Cat's Meow perked up their ears. The bartender silently pulled out a bottle of the mystery liquor and poured a thimble-size shot.

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Foley's Bar is a little like that absentee uncle who bought you a six-pack for your thirteenth birthday. Or like that chain-smoking aunt who knows Lita Ford and Joan Jett songs by heart.

This white trash assessment isn't to say Foley's is a bad place; on the contrary, it's a great place to revel in the simple blue-collar pleasures of frosty beer, cheap pool and plenty of local characters.

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Bar of the Week: Failoni's

Where: 6715 Manchester Ave.

The sign painted on the building said ''Air Conditioned.'' It needs to be cold in Failoni's in order to preserve bodies of the patrons within, whose leathery skin appears to be cooking from the inside out. So that may be a slight (very slight) exaggeration about the tans, but seriously, if you're pale and under forty, this is not your scene.

Usually, the Bar of the Week is chosen because of its cool/weird/sexy/ugly factor, but this week, a tip came down from Unreal that Failoni's in Dogtown was a hot, live cougar den in the city of St. Louis.

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Bar of the Week: rBar
Where: 4054 Chouteau
Web site: www.rbarstl.com

The bubbly endoscope salesman could barely get the story out, he was giggling so hard, ''so, the nurse was in tears, asking me to help her. I wasn't supposed to touch the corpse heads (those things cost $3,000. A pop), but she was really freaking out. She tugged on the head, while I held the bucket - but the ears were STUCK!'' Did I mention he was an endoscope salesman?

You, my friend, have entered rBar, located in that Twilight Zone of Manchester becomes Chouteau, otherwise known as ''The Grove.'' Opened in 2006 by a group of twenty-somethings, rBar offers a little something for everyone. A bit of an oddball on this stretch of road, due to the fact that it's one of the only mostly ''straight'' bars next to a slew of mostly ''gay'' ones. Inside, you'll meet people of all walks of life, and some of those walks can be quite entertaining (yes, you, endoscope salesman).

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Bar of the Week: Flamingo Bowl

Where: 1117 Washington Avenue

Web site: flamingobowl.net

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Has St. Louis become a city of nihilists? Has the loss of our great treasure, the Bowling Hall of Fame, sent us into a deep spiral of apathy towards all things ball and pin? Sadly, dudes, this could indeed be the case, as evidenced by the poor attendance as of late at the Flamingo Bowl. Owned by Joe Edwards, who also owns the swanky Pin-Up Bowl on Delmar, the Flamingo Bowl seemed primed for success when it opened in late 2007.

As manager Vance Ivory explains it, they're just in the summertime slump that happens when people would rather be outside frolicking in the fresh air, rather than stuck inside, bowling. Ivory may have a point, but the fact that you can't even get a parking spot at 8 p.m. on a Wednesday tells you that the people are patronizing Washington Avenue bars in force; just not at the Flamingo Bowl. So, why isn't business booming? We have created a list of pros and cons. Just as you must eat the meat before you can get your pudding, we'll do the cons before the pros.

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Where: 3216 South Grand

You've stumbled across the hidden lair and now they'll have to kill you... but, in the meantime, please enjoy a martini as you lounge on one of the comfy couches. If you find yourself at Urban, consider your options: You can either go in, have a blast, and accept the fact that they may have to dispose of you later, or you can run away from Urban like a total freakin' wuss.

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What You Missed Last Night: Guitar Hero at the Tin Can Tavern

The robots have won. First microwaves, then text messaging and now guitars. Guitars! Is nothing sacred? This has gone too far, you think as you pull up to the Tin Can Tavern on Locust for Guitar Hero Night on Thursday. For someone who’s last experience with video games amounted to little more than pipes and mushrooms, the prospect of virtual rock can be a little daunting. Well, whether you’re already a robot zombie drone (gamer) or skeptical newcomer, you should read on to see what Guitar Hero Night at the Tin Can has to offer.

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