Married to the Sea Has Our Number
Today's post, found here, is this picture below. (Tip o' the hat to Christian Schaeffer.)

Today's post, found here, is this picture below. (Tip o' the hat to Christian Schaeffer.)

Dear Asshole,
I hope you come to your senses or the police stop you before your baby -- and maybe you, too, but definitely your baby -- is seriously injured or killed.
Sincerely,
Ian Froeb
Last week the New York Times devoted its Friday “Havens” feature to Hermann, Missouri, an 1850s “Rhineland Village” of 2,751 people hunkered down alongside the Missouri River. Here’s an enticing passage from the piece:

...the essential gewürztraminer character of the place -- a verdant lightness…envelops the hills, hushes the powerful Missouri, makes the rain fall softly and the leaves gently, and makes even the rock outcroppings crumble like cake.
As the article notes, it’s not only nature but the wineries that draw tourists from across the state to Hermann and its 70 area bed & breakfasts. Oddly enough, we heard yesterday from a Kansas City woman who was left with a bitter taste in her mouth after trying to reserve a room at the very B&B highlighted in the NYT article, the Hermann Hill Vineyard & Inn. Sara Brenner says she and her boyfriend tried to book a $247-a-night room for this coming Sunday but were refused the reservation after the inn staff inquired as to her boyfriend’s smoking habits.
Brenner -- who says her boyfriend, Corey, has lived with her for thirteen years and has never once smoked in their house -- says she told one of Hermann Hill’s employees that the inn’s non-smoking policy wouldn’t be a problem: If Corey craved a cigarette he could drive down the street, have a butt and come right back. The employee said she had to get the owner to approve the reservation. After Brenner didn’t hear back from Hermann Hill, she called again. Eventually she was left the following voice-mail message from the owner, Peggy Hammer:
"Sara, this is Peggy with Hermann Hill. Isabel was here and took your reservation yesterday, contingent on my approval. Corey is not going to be happy here. And it is just our policy that if anyone is a smoker they cannot stay. We want all of our guests to be happy, and I just don't think he will be. We would rather not have him until he quits. Not for us to say he has to quit, but he can't stay here if he is a smoker. So, no, there is no reservation for you here in October."
“I played the message for fifteen people -- smokers and non-smokers -- and they were all like, ‘Oh my God,’” complains Brenner. “She wasn’t very nice about it. If she had said, ‘Hey, this is our policy, I’m sorry it doesn’t work for you, let me know if you need help finding a new place,’ that would have been one thing. But suggesting that we change our life habits is totally unnecessary. Her Web site does say their place is a non-smoking environment. But she says they don’t allow smokers. And that’s not the same thing. I’m curious as to what would have happened if I had sat in a smoky bar for four hours and came back to the inn. It’s a policy that I don’t see how they can possibly regulate unless they blood-test at the door.”
Peggy Hammer responded to an e-mail inquiry from the RFT after we were unable to reach her by phone. Here’s her reply:
“When you look at our website (hermannhill.com) you will see that we market our inn as a totally non-smoking property. Over the past 12 years of operation we have learned that our guest-driven business demands that will [sic] live up to that promise. Most people understand our policies and realize what ‘non-smoking’ means. There appears to be little middle ground on this issue and major hotel chains are now also marketing themselves as ‘totally non-smoking properties.’ Our staff is proud of our reputation for room cleanliness and we are dedicated to providing our guests with the best possible experience during their stay at Hermann Hill.”
By day, he does PR for the St. Louis Science Center. By night, satire. Chris Files, creator of The Files Files, you might say, has it all.
Check out Files’ videos “The P.I.T.S. Campaign” and “Extreme Birdwatching,” and you’ll probably agree that the Science Center, albeit totally awesome, doesn’t allow Files to fully tap his creative neuroses -- and that’s a good thing.
The site is only three-months-old, Files tells Unreal, with much more content coming. Below, are a few outtakes from a brief interview with Files. Watch for more in an upcoming issue of the newspaper.
On filming satire:
My friend Mike Merenda is the cameraman for the videos. He went to Chicago Film School, Columbia College I think it was, and he’s a filmmaker-slash- gas-station-attendant. I guess he’s trying to decide which career path he likes. They obviously both have their perks. He’s great with the camera. We edit the films together. I write the films. I’m in a few. I recruit friends to be in the rest of them. We’re editing the fourth one now.
‘Cyber Talk’ is in a film competition sponsored by Windward Reports -- which, I don’t know what they do, I think it’s make some kind of computer programming -- and the film that receives the most votes wins $10,000…. It’s just one step below Sundance, more like Cannes. But obviously it is the first step on the road to Sundance.
On “The P.I.T.S. Campaign”:
I’d like to think I was the first person to pee in the shower, ever. It’s a trend that’s catching on, let me tell you, just ask my wife.
and
The St. Louis drinking water is great. I just heard this story recently that we have the best tap water in the country. I’m not sure if the P.I.T.S. campaign has anything to do with that, but I’d like to think it does. I fully endorse drinking our tap water as much as I endorse peeing in the shower.
By the way, one of Files’ alter-egos made a previous appearance here on A to Z.
Hand out the cigars and corn whiskey. The STLog family welcomes a new member today: Twelve Angry Fingers, Paul Friswold's unique take on art, music, Ronnie James Dio and whatever else happens to be percolating in his fine mind.

Our friends over at Highway 61 (Revised) snapped a pretty hilarious picture of our "Steal Das Book" issue at Lambert International Airport.
Find the post here -- and knowing them, the promise of a PhotoHunt contest is completely true.

I haven't received any responses to this query over at Gut Check. Maybe STLog readers know what's up?
Westbound on Highway 40, alongside Forest Park, just past where the mounted police stable their horses, affixed to a tornado-siren pole is a sign reading: "I Love Butter." (Sorry, I couldn't photograph it from my car without risking my or someone else's life.) Does anyone know what the deal is? Anyone?
(A tip of the hat to Annie at A to Z for pointing this out to me the other day.)
For more food-related fun, visit Ian and friends over at Gut Check, the RFT food blog.
The artist was recently dispatched to San Francisco to design and paint a room at the new Hotel Del Artes, a whimsical hotel near Union Square. The result is "Casa del Luchador," a room honoring Mexican wrestlers.
The time-lapse clip below captures a masked Wollaeger making the murals and aping for the camera. You can catch him this Saturday night making live art at Wall Ball 2007 at Third Degree Glass Factory (5200 Delmar Blvd.; 314-367-4527).
(Disclosure: I'm DJing. More disclosure: I'm going to rock the place most righteously.)