The Rundown

July 2007 Archives

Introducing Joel Pineiro: Your 2007 Cubs MVP

Tue Jul 31, 2007 at 04:47:46 PM

Today brings news that the St. Louis Cardinals have acquired Joel Pineiro from the Boston Red Sox in exchange for cash and a minor league player to be named later. The move is intended to shore up the Cards' struggling starting rotation.

Seattle Times
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Meet Joel Pineiro: He bites.
Now, as a recent transplant from the great Northwest and a Mariners fan, I have often questioned Walt Jocketty's penchant for signing questionable ex-Mariners -- see Exhibits A and B -- and have been happily proved wrong both times.

In this case, however, I can confidently state this will not end well. Joel Pineiro sucks. Bad.

Mariners fans have long speculated that steroid use may have contributed to Pineiro's success early in his career, particularly in 2001, when he posted a 2.03 ERA in 75 innings. Since then, however, he has gotten increasingly worse, peaking last year when he rocked an ERA of 6.36 and a record of 6-13. He did nearly lead the league in one category -- earned runs allowed: His tally of 117 was third best, er, worst.

M's fans commonly described him as "Joel Pineiro: Your 2006 Oakland A's MVP."

As Jeff Sullivan of the popular M's blog Lookout Landing wrote when analyzing whether the M's should retain Pineiro's services after 2006, "[Maybe] he can bounce back a little in 2007, but the rest is just Joel being really really bad at what he does."

This year he has posted an ERA of 5.03 in 34 innings as a reliever for the Red Sox. Boston briefly considered using Joel (pronounced Joe-EL) as a closer before the season started (presumably because they never saw him pitch before acquiring him on a one-year $4 million contract). Needless to say, the experiment was short-lived.

The bottom line: Pineiro has a mediocre repertoire of pitches, little command of anything he throws, and a proven track record as a loser.

In other words, he ought to fit in nicely with the rest of the current Cardinals rotation.

-Keegan Hamilton

Category: Sports
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Rick Ankiel: Still a Wild Man!

Mon Jul 30, 2007 at 05:49:13 PM

This just in from the Memphis Redbirds, the St. Louis Cardinals' minor-league affiliate: At the team's August 10 game against the Omaha Royals, the first 1,500 fans to arrive at AutoZone Park in Memphis will receive a Marvel comic book whose cover "will feature the Incredible Hulk, Spiderman [sic] and Iron Man alongside Rockey and Redbirds outfielder Rick Ankiel."

Rick Ankiel #2
Unreal'll trade ya an autographed copy of Tim Lane's Stagger Lee chapbook for one of them Ankiel comics, straight-up.

Hell, we'll even throw in a handful of Al Sharpton for Mayor campaign buttons.

-Unreal

Category: Media, Sports, Unreal
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Bo Hart: A Deeper Circle of Baseball Hell

Tue Jul 17, 2007 at 11:43:47 AM
art.com
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Sorry, Bo.

The Chicago Cubs have traded minor-league infielder -- and scrappy, sentimental favorite of Cardinals fans everywhere -- Bo Hart to the Baltimore Orioles.

As a die-hard Orioles fan, I can tell you that the Orioles provide maybe the best chance for Hart to return to the bigs. The O's have a soft spot for scrappy, light-hitting, borderline-AAAA types. Consider that the team's 25-man roster currently includes one Brandon Fahey and one Luis Hernandez -- and one Freddie Bynum is on the DL.

So Bo Hart fans, rejoice! Your boy is one Brandon-Fahey-pulled-hamstring-on-a-sacrifice-bunt-attempt away from another chance.

(And, yes, you really can buy a Bo Hart poster at art.com. Just $3.98!)

-Ian Froeb

Category: News, Sports
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Wheelchair Rugby Players Go All The Way

Mon Jul 16, 2007 at 02:39:56 PM
Katrine Mayhew
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Representing: Local murderballers Clayton Braun (at right, with the ball) and Kerri Morgan (far right)
Back in January, I wrote "Ready to Rumble," a feel-good tale about the smash-happy world of quadriplegic rugby and specifically St. Louis' very own Kerri Morgan and the St. Louis Rugby Rams. Though the team didn't make the cut this past spring to qualify for the national championships, some good news just came in: Morgan and Clayton Braun, of Ferguson, were two of the twenty-four players invited by U.S. Paralympic coaches to try out for Team USQRA (United States Quad Rugby Association) in Birmingham, Alabama, July 5-8.

Braun, a defenseman, had only just finished his second season of murderball, as it's known. Morgan, on offense, was the only woman to make the list.

Both made the cut for Team USQRA, the farm squad for Team USA, the official U.S. Paralympic Team.

Chances are Braun and Morgan won't see action at the 2008 Paralympics in Beijing. Instead, the U.S. Paralympic Committee plans to use the fourteen-member Team USQRA to groom the next generation of national players. Following several more training camps later this summer, the St. Louis pair will most likely travel internationally next year to compete against another developmental team. Next stops, ideally: the 2010 World Wheelchair Rugby Championships and the 2012 Paralympics -- if they keep up their workouts and foot the bills, of course. (It's a super-costly sport. The Rugby Rams don't have a team sponsor, and neither Braun nor Morgan has financial backing.)

Oh, as if that weren't a whopping number of St. Louis connections to the murderball elite, Rugby Rams coach Sue Tucker has been named one of the farm team's coaches.

-Kristen Hinman

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What's Chris Duncan Dry-Humping This Week?

Fri Jul 13, 2007 at 04:46:32 PM

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Dumbledore's not really dead! Snape's a good guy! Who knew!

-Unreal

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Turn Your Crank

Tue Jul 10, 2007 at 11:56:31 AM
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Bikes with no gears (and sometimes no brakes) are all the rage among college students and post-college hipsters. If you've seen them, you might have thought at first that someone ripped all the cabling off an old Schwinn ten-speed. Nope. These are "fixies."

Fixed-gear bikes lack the freewheel mechanism that allows a rider to coast. Instead, they have a single rear gear fixed to the hub. The chain drives directly to the large front gear and pedals. Like the bikes many of us learned on as kids, rear wheel and pedals move together, so if the bike is rolling, you'd better be ready to move your legs.

Why, you ask, would one want to ride to and fro on such a primitive vehicle? Enthusiasts rattle off a list of benefits. First, it's great training. All that pedaling (especially uphill) strengthens the legs. Second, you can take a fixed-gear bike out into the winter slop and not worry about rusting out expensive gear mechanisms. Third, these stripped-down bikes look cool. (Remember the Kevin Bacon bike-messenger flick Quicksilver?) They go well with messenger bags, touring caps, long sideburns, studded belts and/or mohawks. (I have spotted each of the aforementioned fashion choices astride a fixed-gear bike in the past month.)

Before fixies became the cool way to commute, cyclists raced them around steeply banked tracks called velodromes. And they still do.

St. Louis is lucky enough to have a velodrome of its own, one of only twenty-one publicly owned bike tracks in the nation.

But although it hosted the 1962 National Championship, the Penrose Park Velodrome has nothing on first-class tracks such as the Major Taylor Velodrome in Indianapolis. The pavement in one of the far corners is bumpy, and thorns from the surrounding grass and vegetation tend to make their way onto the track, where they puncture tires.

The layout is a little odd by modern standards. The track is one-fifth of a mile in circumference, and the curves are banked at a relatively shallow angle. Local track-racing veteran Tony Benoist says the track's designer, Olympic cyclist and Schwinn bicycle designer Frank Burlando, designed the track so anyone could ride it.

This past Sunday the Penrose Park Velodrome, which is tucked into a corner of the north St. Louis park at Kingshighway and Interstate 70, was the scene of the 2007 Missouri State Track Championships, hosted by the Missouri Bicycle Racing Association. Sixteen riders with a wide range of abilities signed up for a series of races under a blazing sun. It was budding high school cyclist Zack Stein's first track outing. He won the three-kilometer race in four minutes, twenty-two seconds.

Stein is now hooked on track racing. "I can't wait to get on Indy and do Nationals," he says. But he wouldn't have tried if it weren't for the urging of his coach, Joe Walsh. "My dad was, like, 'Fixed gears and no brakes? No way in hell,'" Stein recounts. "My coach talked him into it."

Benoist, who still has the steel Schwinn track bike that Burlando designed for him in 1963, says he has noticed fixed-gear bikes making their way onto the roads. "That's the way it should be," he says. "It gives you a better spin." Once you adapt, he adds, "Actually, you have better control of your bike."

Jason Bernth came out to watch the races. He says he's enthralled by fixed-gear bikes but has yet to try one: "They scare me, actually."

-Kathleen McLaughlin

Category: Sports
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Vashon Spot Still Empty

Fri Jul 06, 2007 at 01:57:09 PM

Here's the current word on the Vashon Wolverines boys' basketball team, from St. Louis Public Schools spokeswoman Deborah Sistrunk:

"There's no truth to the rumor that Marvin Talley will be the boys' basketball coach at Vashon. Good rumor, though!"

Talley, formerly the boys' basketball coach at Riverview Gardens High School, has indeed been hired as an assistant principal at Vashon, Sistrunk says.

As to who (Superintendent Diana Bourisaw? Public High League athletic director Sam Dunlap? Vashon principal Barbara Sharpe?) will name Anthony Bonner's replacement at Vashon -- or when -- Sistrunk isn't sure. "We're not moving immediately on that position right now. It hasn't even been posted," she says.

This doesn't mean Talley won't be named the Wolverines' new coach. Basketball season doesn't start until November, so it could be months before somebody at the SLPS makes a decision. As Sistrunk points out, the entire district is undergoing a reorganization.

-Kristen Hinman

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Vashon's New Coach

Tue Jul 03, 2007 at 01:04:40 PM
stlouis.missouri.org
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Yesterday, about half a minute after the St. Louis Public Schools announced that it had laid off Anthony Bonner, coach of the Vashon boys' varsity basketball team, speculation begin to mount at the high school that the new coach would be Marvin Talley.

Talley was introduced to Vashon staff as a new assistant principal just yesterday, according to a source who works at Vashon but is not authorized to speak about personnel issues.

Most recently, Talley was an art teacher and the head coach of the boys' basketball team at Riverview Gardens High School. Under his whistle last season, the Riverview Rams went 4-3 in the Suburban North conference and 11-16 overall.

Mike Walters, district athletic director for Riverview Gardens, could not be reached to confirm Talley's departure.

A 1993 graduate of Fontbonne University, Talley was a recipient in 2006 of the college's Founders Award for "distinguished service to the greater St. Louis community." According to a Fontbonne press release, Talley was recognized for launching St. Louis' first chapter of a Washington, D.C.-based program called Coaches Against Gun Violence.

As to whether Talley will be -- or already has been -- passed the Vashon basketball torch, I'm awaiting word from an SLPS spokesperson...

-Kristen Hinman

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