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News broke today that the St. Louis Cardinals have a new general manager. John Mozeliak, formerly the Cards' assistant (and more recently interim) GM, will accept a three-year deal and replace Walt Jocketty as the man who calls the Cards' personnel shots.

Reports over the weekend asserted that the job had been offered to Cleveland Indians assistant GM Chris Antonetti, who was said to be in contract talks as recently as Monday. If the name doesn't ring a bell, Antonetti is widely tagged as the next great general manager to come from the Indians organization. The blog USS Mariner, which staged a yearlong campaign urging the Mariners to fire their current GM and hire Antonetti, has a nice breakdown of just how successful that lineage has been: All four teams in the American and National League Championship Series this year were captained by protégés from the Tribe's front office.

Speculation abounded that Antonetti, with his penchant for statistical-based player evaluation would have been the perfect partner for Jeff Luhnow, the Cards' wet-behind-the-ears director of player development who is likewise grounded in sabermetrics.

Last week Antonetti was quoted as calling the Cards job "one of the best in baseball" and "a unique opporutnity." Since then the Indians have purportedly given him a raise and all but promised him the GM job once Mark Shapiro, who currently holds the position, is promoted to team president.

But perhaps not coincidentally, Antonetti dropped out of talks with the Cards the same day they signed manager Tony La Russa to a two-year contract that makes him the highest-paid manager in baseball...until Joe Torre signs with the Dodgers.

In the Post-Dispatch article announcing Mozeliak's hire, Joe Strauss hinted at why Antonetti likely declined the job, writing, "[Antonetti] harbored reservations about the amount of control that would be given Jocketty's successor."

Surely Mozeliak knows what he's getting into. Not only will he have to work with Luhnow, whom team chairman Bill DeWitt reportedly lets call most of the shots and restock the Cards' depressingly talent-barren shelves, he must also manage his manger's ego.

Watching the fresh-faced 39-year-old interact with the 63-year-old future Hall of Famer ought to be fun.

La Russa addressed the topic of age difference at the press conference announcing his new contract, essentially calling out his younger co-workers by saying, "I would venture to say that the guy who comes in, if he's half my age, probably goes to less rock and roll shows than I do, I'm young at heart. I'm going to see The Boss (Bruce Springsteen) in Oakland on Thursday. I'm not worried about (age difference) at all. I don't feel it."

Mozeliak has already begun to make his mark, picking up the option of aging closer Jason Isringhausen and renewing the contracts of setup man Russ Springer and inconsistent starter Joel Pineiro.

-Keegan Hamilton

Now that the Rams' season has progressed from bad to awful to potentially historic depths of abomination, we must confront the question: Is 0-16 likely?

Die-hard fans -- and, I imagine, the Rams themselves -- can take comfort in the fact that since the NFL went to a 16-game schedule in 1978, no team has finished 0-16. (The Baltimore Colts, however, did manage an 0-8-1 record in the strike-shortened 1982 campaign.)

Even a pathetic 1-15 record is relatively uncommon. From 1978 through last year, (discounting 1982), only six teams have finished with one measly win -- none since the 2001 Carolina Panthers. The more common mark of futility has been 2-14; in that same time span, twenty teams have recorded that record.

So the Rams couldn't possibly go 0-16, right? Beginning this week, using the football expertise and advanced statistical knowledge that two English degrees have granted me, I'll try to answer that question.

Week 10: at New Orleans

A road game, and after an 0-4 start, the Saints seem to be coming around. On the other hand, the Rams have the benefit of the bye week. How healthy will Bulger and Jackson be? It won't matter if Brees can pick apart the secondary.

Chance of Victory: 35%

Week 11: at San Francisco

Another road game, but the Niners are a mess. The Rams should have beaten them in Week 2. A slightly above-average performance should get the job done. If not, infamy beckons.

Chance of Victory: 60%

The rest of the season after the jump.

Michael Noll, once a close confidant of former Vashon basketball coach Floyd Irons, is expected to waive an indictment and enter a guilty plea before U.S. District Court Judge E. Richard Webber in federal court Thursday morning in connection with a million-dollar mortgage scam.

Noll is expected to plead guilty to the same counts of wire and mail fraud that Irons admitted to last month. Another co-defendant in the case, mortgage broker John Mineo Jr., also cooperated.

Noll was identified as "John Doe" in the court papers for Irons' case. According to those documents, Irons and "Doe" devised a scheme to purchase residential real estate at inflated prices. In order to make initial payments on the properties, Irons and "Doe" obtained loans by submitting false paperwork in Irons' name. With mortgage broker Mineo's assistance, an additional $120,000 was kicked back to Irons and "Doe." Soon after buying the homes, Irons and "Doe" put them up for sale. All the properties -- in Tower Grove East, DeMun and Wildwood -- were eventually foreclosed upon when Irons and "Doe" failed to make mortgage payments.

At the time of Irons' plea, the former coach said he did not receive any money from the scam. Noll did not return a phone call for comment at that time.

Irons, who faces up to 30 years in prison and a fine no more than $1 million, is scheduled to be sentenced November 29. It is unclear whether Noll will be sentenced on the same date.

-Kristen Hinman

The crew of the Chilly Willy Wagon, which Unreal interviewed last month, returned last week from the Red Bull Soapbox Race in Providence, Rhode Island, not exactly covered in victory, but not in ignominy, either.

The penguin-shaped Chilly Willy Wagon finished a very respectable seventh in a field of 57. It clocked a speed somewhere in the lower 30 mph range, says driver Curt Hoeft, and, even more exciting, had a wreck! Halfway through the quarter-mile course down College Hill, Chilly Willy's front left tire fell off. The penguin slid through the rest of the course -- it had gravity on its side -- but at the finish line, Hoeft writes in an e-mail, "I plowed the hay bales and just missed the camera man. The wreck broke both steering rods, bent the frame, and popped the other tire off of the other front wheel."

Unreal sighs. If only we'd been there!

Bu there's always next time. "It was a blast,"

Hoeft concludes, "and I can't wait to do it again next year."

-Unreal

Okay, the tree is not the most significant part of the controversy over University City’s plan to build a driving range on the Ruth Park municipal golf course.

Perhaps more significant is that the 76-year-old, nine-hole golf course has been losing money for the city for the past decade and that U. City's Department of Parks, Recreation and Forestry hopes that a driving range will generate some much-needed revenue -- an estimated $138,000 per year. The driving range would be installed at the southern end of Ruth Park, along Groby Road, in what is now a free practice area.

Or perhaps it’s that the city’s plans have enraged some residents who live near Ruth Park. They’re upset about the bright lights the driving range will cast at night, and the potential for more traffic. They think the city has not done sufficient research into the impact the driving range will have on the rest of the neighborhood, and they're peeved that members of city council voted to go ahead with the plan without consulting their constituents. Then there’s that agreement the city made with Clayton: Clayton will contribute $30,000 toward the cost of the driving range and Claytonites will be able to hit balls at U. City resident rates. What will U. Citizens get in return? Will this set a dangerous precedent for other towns that want to take advantage of University City’s facilities?

“They’re acting recklessly with taxpayer money,” says David Rubin, one of the leaders of the Ruth Park Preservation Committee (RPPC).

Next week U. City parks director Nancy MacCartney plans to submit a grant proposal to the Municipal Park Grant Commission of St. Louis County, which allocates $3 million annually to improve the county’s parks. In the past, University City has received grant money to build tennis courts and install playground equipment in Heman Park and to purchase fitness equipment for the Centennial Commons facility.

MacCartney says the parks department has been planning the driving range since 2004. Last week she sent a letter to residents of the neighborhood around Ruth Park that was intended to allay the RPPC’s concerns. The lights, the letter said, will shine downward onto the ground, not upward. The driving range will have only 25 hitting stations; in addition to the existing clubhouse parking lot, there are 40 parking spots along Groby. Furthermore, MacCartney adds, U. City has been negotiating with Clayton to allow U. Citizens use of the Shaw Park Ice Rink.

The RPPC is not buying any of this and has planned a letter-writing campaign to raise public awareness and, they hope, opposition to the driving range. It has also hired a lawyer.

But the tree.

The oldest tree in University City lies in the middle of the proposed driving range. MacCartney promised the tree would not be cut down. Instead she proposed that the tree be surrounded by a protective fence and that a target be placed on said fence. Anyone who hits the target will receive a free bucket of golf balls.

The RPPC was outraged.

“There are driving ranges with the most amazing hazards. I’ve seen lakes,” MacCartney protests. “It has been turned into a sacrilegious statement.”

-Aimee Levitt

Tony La Russa is almost certainly gone.

And after having helped make some RFT dreams come true, Joe Torre is even more certainly done as Yankees skipper. (The New York Times should have run its season wrap-up on the obit page, and the New York Daily News went so far as to skip the eulogy and call for the Boss to hire La Russa pronto.)

It appears as if the stars may be aligning for Cards fans.

While Joe Strauss floats several respectable candidates for La Russa replacements, there's this from Bernie Miklasz's blog, (bizarre punctuation all his): "OK, let's suppose??La Russa leaves St. Louis ... and Torre is whacked by the Yankees.?? Does Torre emerge as a candidate in St. Louis? Does he give the managing job here a second chance under better circumstances?"

Umm, duh.

Granted, Torre didn't leave St. Louis on the best of terms when he was fired in 1995, but managing the Cards would be a cakewalk after spending years in the New York pressure cooker. Not only is moving from the AL East to the NL Central like going from All-Madden to Rookie mode on Xbox in terms of difficulty, but trading Steinbrenner and the insatiable New York fans for DeWitt and the Redbird faithful is just what Torre's ulcer ordered.

Plus the guy does have some fond memories of the life in the Lou. As a Cardinals player, Torre was the Albert Pujols of the early 1970s, winning the MVP in '71 while leading the league in two of the three Triple Crown categories.

Nothing beats replacing one Hall of Fame manager with another.

-Keegan Hamilton

The Cleveland Indians just beat the New York Yankees by the score of 6-4, sending them to the American League Championship Series, against the Boston Red Sox.

Five reasons for Cardinals fans to root for the Tribe when the Series begins on Friday in Boston:

1. The teams have the same colors. Sport your Cards shirt, look like you're an Indians fan. Easy! (Yes, the Sox colors are also similar. Shh.)

2. To avenge the 2004 World Series, where the BoSox broke their Curse of the Bambino, at the expense of the Cards.

3. The Indians' last World Series win = 1948. The Cards' last World Series win = 2006. Take pity on us.

4. Last year, we traded you Ronnie Belliard, who was instrumental in helping the Cards in the playoffs.

5. Humor your friendly neighborhood music editor, who has been a long-suffering Indians fan since she was a wee lass growing up in Cleveland in the mid-'80s.

Go Tribe! (photo courtesy of Chuck Crow/Cleveland Plain Dealer)

-- Annie Zaleski

See? Told you it would only be for a few days.

-Aimee Levitt

OK, I admit I once rented an apartment because of its proximity to Wrigley Field. And I used to smirk at those “Cuck the Fardinals” T-shirts they sell at the corner of Clark and Waveland. And when I first started interviewing for my job here at RFT, my first words were, “Just so you know, I’m not going to become a Cardinals fan. Ever.” (Fortunately, this paper does not practice discrimination on grounds of baseball fandom.) As a sign of my allegiance, I keep a Cubs Curse Breaker on my desk here. It takes the form of a plush goat and is very small and tasteful because I know I'm in enemy territory. I’ve seen those signs around town. And I must admit that most of the time, I take pride in being part of a vicious minority.

But last year? When the Cardinals were in the playoffs? I rooted for them. At first I thought it was because I associated the Padres with sad and bitter memories of 1984. And because I associated the Mets with pure evil. But then I realized: To root for the Cardinals is to root for the Midwest, our shared homeland, ridiculed by East Coasters and West Coasters alike as “flyover country.” Chicago and St. Louis are red-brick sisters! (It’s true Chicago is by far the larger and more people actually know where it is, but so what?) If I could put aside my North Sider prejudices to cheer for the White Sox in 2005 (and really cheer, like jumping up and down and screaming in my Wrigleyville apartment; I would have frightened my downstairs neighbor had he not been cheering, too), I could surely do the same for the Cardinals two years later.

This noble resolution kind of hit a snag when the World Series rolled around, but all due to complicated family loyalties, namely that my parents are natives of Detroit and I spent the summer of 1984 getting quizzed on the Tigers’ starting lineup every night at dinner, and some old habits, like inbred Tiger love, are harder to break than others, like institutionalized Cardinal hatred. Nonetheless, I have to admit it's a novel experience to be living in the same city as the World Series champs.

So, my fellow St. Louis residents, when you sit down in front of the tube for this interminable playoff month, remember regional loyalty. If you must turn over the National League crown over to anyone, let it be your fellow Midwesterners, just a few hours up I-55, not those snakes slithering around out in the Arizona desert! We won’t lord it over you. (Too much.) It’s probably not going to last long anyway. To be a Cubs fan is to know only fleeting happiness, not to bask in entire years of glory, as I imagine you Cards fans must do. It won’t take too long, just a few weeks at most before the inevitable occurs, and then you can go back to feeling superior.

This is what it is to be a Cubs fan:

-Aimee Levitt