You know what I really like? The Eagles. Not the football team. The band.

Now, you have to understand, for me, that was a very difficult thing to admit. Stay with me here, I'm getting to the Cardinals. I have certain indie credential that I have to maintain. I happen to be one of the very few people in the world who have ever debated, in complete earnest, which album was more influential to the post rock movement, Tortoise's "Millions Now Living Will Never Die," or Slint's "Spiderland." If none of what I just said there made any sense to you, congratulations! You clearly have better things to do with your time. For someone like me, though, my love for the Eagles just isn't the sort of thing you bandy about casually.

I tell you all of that to tell you this:

A couple of days ago, as I was considering how best to introduce this little corner of the Internet, an Eagles song, one of my personal favorites, "After the Thrill is Gone," came on the radio. As I was listening, still thinking on the Cardinals and this upcoming season, a particular line of the song reached out, grabbed me by the throat, and shook me.

"You don't care about winning, but you don't want to lose."

It suddenly hit me. That, in a nutshell, is the perfect description of this baseball season for our St. Louis Cardinals.

This is a team that is clearly in transition; the giants of the early 2000s are gone, with the notable exception of Albert Pujols. This is a team that needs desperately to develop new talent, a team that can't afford to hand out long term contracts that would compromise future flexibility.

At the same time, this is a team that publicly refuses to acknowledge a rebuild; instead, we're subjected to the term 'retooling' at nearly every turn. A team that fears how its fan base, long accustomed to playoff runs, would react to an admission that this is probably going to be a down season. They don't care about winning, but they don't want to lose.

This is where the St. Louis Cardinals find themselves, only a year and a half removed from a championship parade down Market Street. The year 2007 was the end of the era; the future begins now. Walt Jocketty, the architect of so much success, is gone, replaced by his former, more player-development friendly, lieutenant, John Mozeliak. New faces abound both on the field and in the front office. Mozeliak has made it his priority to make only moves which maintain the team's flexibility going forward, while still attempting to compete this year. The farm system will play a larger role than it has in a long, long time.

All of the pundits predict doom for this Cardinal team. Personally, I think the pundits are mostly wrong. The wheels aren't falling off this year; they came off last season. Surgery for your ace, Chris Carpenter. Surgery, again, for your No. 2 pitcher, Mark Mulder. The death of Josh Hancock. Surgery, again, for Scott Rolen. Time finally catching up to Jim Edmonds. Last year was the end.

This year is a new beginning. A new, rising star on the pitching mound, in Adam Wainwright. Dynamic offensive talent in the outfield, in the persons of Chris Duncan and Rick Ankiel. On the horizon, the future of Center in St. Louis: Colby Rasmus. A warchest of young relievers stashed away at Memphis, ready to contribute. The future of St. Louis baseball looks bright.

The St. Louis Cardinals are trying to get us pumped for the upcoming season, during which we'll likely watch the "new-look Cards" finish with a losing record. And it kills me to say that. Especially after a decade-plus of stretch drives, one National League pennant and a World Series championship.

The bloom of contention is, as the poets say, off the rose. The front office has undergone changes; two executives, John Mozeliak and Bill DeWitt III, got promotions. The team on the field looks different too (as you may have read).

But with lowered expectations come funny commercials!

Check out these slightly weird ads. They don't exactly conjure feelings of an October run or a 100-win season. They do, however, make me long for summer.

The organization's new slogan, "Play Like a Cardinal," is a little fuzzily defined. Judging from these commericals, it might translate to: Share a hot dog with a friend, play hard and be sure to include the mascot in team warm-ups.

My favorite spot stars pitchers Adam Wainwright and Jason Isringhausen and a hot dog. The two aren't afraid to share a baseball during a game, and apparently also are unfazed by wiener-swapping:

Here we have Fredbird doing the high-knee jog with the team. To those who don't see the mascot every...single...freaking...day on television in St. Louis during the baseball season, the guest spot might seem novel. Well, hell, the kids love him:

A third spot has Rick Ankiel professing that he isn't just a pitcher. And he is only sort of a right fielder. Rest assured he is 100 percent "ballplayer," though:

-Nick Lucchesi

I didn't make it to the Pink Galleon over the weekend to try my hand at the new Wheel of Fortune pinball game, but my guess is that John Miller, a.k.a. "JR," still holds the high score.

As of Thursday afternoon, that was about 258 million. Miller says he had a good strategy think that day on his way home from work, so he swung by the Galleon for a rematch.

"I've dumped more money in that game than I've dumped into a game in a long time," Miller told me that evening.

Miller is one of the pinball aficionados I profiled back in December. He and his buddies, Steve and Carol Walker, Brian Bannon and Adam McKinnie (a.k.a. "Zed"), have been brushing up on their skills ahead of an international tournament next weekend in Las Vegas.

The tournament is sponsored by the International Flipper Pinball Association, the same group that created the World Pinball Player Rankings. The rankings are a fairly new development in competitive pinball. Much of a player's standing depends on how often he or she competes in sanctioned events. Miller, for example, is ranked at 25, while McKinnie stands at 101. Two weekends ago McKinnie held the high score on Pink Galleon's Wheel of Fortune, 148 million to Miller's 143 million. "He's a better player than what his ranking is," Miller says.

If you're interested in becoming a world-ranked pinball player, your chance is coming up. CP Pinball in South Roxana, Illinois, will hold its first sanctioned tournament on April 5. The entry fee is $20. Qualifying rounds run from noon until 5 p.m. Playoffs begin after 5 p.m. (There are no cash prizes.)

The competition will be mostly local, but unfortunately that does include JR. For someone who calls himself "pinball wizard," he doesn't harbor many secrets about his sorcery. If you want to save yourself a few quarters on Wheel of Fortune, Miller recommends going for the right-side drop targets on the first shot, then trying to hit the left and right ramps consecutively.

Released last fall, the pinball version of Wheel of Fortune might be more fun than watching its namesake game show for the gazillionth time. Miller reports that it comes with an engaging, complicated set of rules. "It's a throwback, playfield-wise, to the early '70s, late '60s. But technology-wise, it's awesome."

Kathleen McLaughlin

Tyler “Psycho-T” Hansbrough, now leading the University of North Carolina Tarheels in their pursuit of another NCAA men's basketball championship, was profiled, along with his brother Ben, by the Riverfront Times back in September 2004.

Not surprisingly, the story is coming back to life on the web, as more readers are interested in learning about the tenacious center from Poplar Bluff, Mo.

Read the story here.

An excerpt:

In their free time, Ben (now playing basketball at Mississippi State University) enjoys cavorting with friends while Tyler retreats to the solitude of one of the area's local fishing holes.

"That's the Bluff comin' out," Tyler concedes.

-Nick Lucchesi

I have received a lot of requests for the entire transcript of the November 12, 2007, interview between former Vashon High School basketball coach Floyd Irons and executive director of the Missouri State High School Activities Association (MSHSAA), Kerwin Urhahn.

We previously published the first 50 pages of that Nov. 20007 interview here and here.

(To clarify: As part of Irons' plea agreement with the U.S. Attorney's office for his involvement in a real estate fraud scheme, Irons agreed to provide information involving recruiting violations to MSHSAA. Irons' attorney, Rick Sindel, and Assistant U.S. Attorney Hal Goldsmith sat in on the interview between Irons and Urhahn, as did FBI agent Shannon McGarry. Irons is questioned by Urhahn and McGarry about the residences of players found by Riverfront Times to be in violation of MSHSAA and St. Louis Public School district policies.)

Below you will find three PDFs containing the final 143 pages of the transcript. The names of the students have been blacked out by MSHSAA. Our chart of Vashon basketball players published back in November, 2006, provides a cheat sheet.

Part 3: Pages 50-99
Part 4: Pages 100-150
Part 5: Pages 151-193

-Kristen Hinman

Toronto fans are having a little fun with ex-Cardinal Eck. Makes Unreal kinda misty just thinking about the guy...

And that's only the beginning.

Full funniness available here.

-Unreal

Former Vashon High School coach Floyd Irons, one of Missouri's most victorious high school basketball coaches, and his former confidant and booster Mike Noll, were sentenced to federal prison Monday, along with mortgage broker John Mineo Jr., thus closing the book on a real estate fraud case that earlier resulted in prison time for a property appraiser as well.

U.S. District Court Judge E. Richard Webber showed leniency with Irons, Noll and Mineo.

The judge sentenced Irons to two twelve-month prison terms, to run concurrently, as well as five years' probation, and ordered him to pay $653,147.09 in restitution to the banks that lost money as a result of the mortgage fraud. Federal sentencing guidelines, which judges may stray from, had called for a 27- to 33-month sentence.

Assistant U.S. Attorney Hal Goldsmith had recommended 18 months.

Webber sentenced co-conspirator Mike Noll to twenty months in prison and five years' probation and ordered him to pay $1,032,212.71 in restitution. Guidelines had called for a 33- to 41-month sentence. Goldsmith had recommended 25 months.

John Mineo Jr. received a sentence of twelve months and one day -- which ends up amounting to a lesser sentence than twelve months, because of prison rules, Judge Webber noted -- and was also ordered to pay restitution of $653,147.09. Guidelines had called for jail time of 21 to 27 months. The federal prosecutor had recommended 14 months.

It was a long afternoon, with proceedings beginning at 2 p.m. and not wrapping up until 7:15 p.m. Irons was the last to be sentenced; his day in court ended with an unlikely sight: a receiving line of well-wishers offering hugs and handshakes. More than 100 people -- standing-room only -- had crowded the courtroom in his defense.

Degree of culpability, as well as character, seemed to factor most into Judge Webber's rulings.

Noll's attorney, Ed Dowd, claimed that Mineo approached Noll about the scheme to purchase and flip properties using false paperwork. But the judge rejected that idea and determined that Noll was the ringleader.

Dowd asked for leniency for Noll, based on Noll's twenty-year history as an informant on gambling and organized-crime cases. Dowd said Noll has had shots fired at him and received oral threats against his life because of his work for the FBI. "He has lived in danger while he served his country for no reason other than he wanted to help," Dowd said. "He has given the government everything he knows and is willing to continue to cooperate."

Dowd also referred to Noll's decades of providing financial assistance and support for children across the metro area to attend sports camps and tournaments, high schools and colleges. "He has no assets at all to support his family or to pay his legal fees," Dowd said, "so [my fellow attorneys] and I have been working on this case for free...because, particularly, of the numbers of young people he's helped."

Dowd read from letters written on Noll's behalf by parents and students who were recipients of his beneficence. The defense attorney also cited from letters written by two Catholic brothers and by St. Louis Rams executive vice president Bob Wallace.

Noll himself asked Judge Webber to spare him from prison: "Basketball kids, my extended family and my immediate family, they will bear the brunt of a lengthy punishment -- "

"How is that true?" Webber interrupted. "You're going to have to pay back more than one million dollars, and if you ever try to do anything like that again you're going to get arrested."

Back in January Rick Majerus offended local Catholics (and particularly Archbishop Raymond Burke) when the Saint Louis University basketball coach publicly stated his support of stem-cell research and abortion rights.

Now it seems Majerus has insulted yet another Christian populace: the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Speaking on the syndicated radio program The Dan Patrick Show last week, Majerus opined that nothing -- not even Mitt Romney or Mormons' "magic underwear" -- would help Brigham Young University defeat Texas A&M in the first round of the NCAA basketball tournament.

The comments came at the close of a ten-minute interview on Monday, March 17, in which host Dan Patrick asked Majerus to quickly provide his picks for the tourney. "Let me run down the list," said Patrick. "You just say who you like. You don't have to tell me why unless it's a really insightful comment that the listeners will say, 'Damn, that was insightful.'"

When asked about the BYU-Texas A&M matchup, Majerus responded, "A&M. I don't like BYU from my Utah days. The magic underwear Mitt and those guys send themselves."

Huh? During his tenure at University of Utah, Majerus apparently learned quite a bit about the Mormon culture, including the practice of wearing temple garments under their clothes. The garments -- often referred to as "Mormon underwear" -- are traditionally worn by adherents as a reminder of their promise to live a virtuous life. Though as Slate reported prior to BYU's entrance in last year's tournament, few Mormons wear the garments while competing in sports.

In response to Majerus' comment, a laughing Patrick quickly changed the subject: "You're going to get me put on probation." But not everyone was willing to forgive and forget so quickly.

Posting last week on the sports site bleacherreport.com, blogger Andrew Perkins compared Majerus' comment to Don Imus' ill-fated musings on Rutgers' women's basketball team last year. "Whether or not he has any love towards Mormons is not the issue," wrote Perkins. "The issue is that Majerus said something that is discriminatory and disrespectful to a specific group of people."

Perkins isn't the only one whose shorts are bunched over the remarks. Responding to Perkins' blog post, a reader named Tracy Hall commented, "If Majerus had made a derogatory comment about a Jewish player's 'magic beanie,' he would have been fired on the spot. It's time to realize that anti-Mormons and anti-Semites belong to the same Klan."

No matter whom you support -- the SLU coach or the Mormons -- you can't argue with the coach's pick. The ninth-seeded Aggies beat number-eight seed BYU 67-62.

-Unreal

Below is a video of St. Louis' Jamie O'Hare -- the city's only professional female boxer -- taking on opponent Carrine Hamlett on March 8 in St. Louis.

RFT staff writer Kristen Hinman profiles O'Hare in this week's cover story.

We're trying to get footage of the fight from Fox Sports Midwest, but the above YouTube video may have to do for now.

I've also posted web-only photos, from the weigh-in to the final bell, on our slideshows page.

Mark your boxing calendar: O'Hare's next fight is scheduled for June 21.

-Nick Lucchesi

In the most recent edition of his made-to-waste-away-your-workday "Links of the Week" series, ESPN's Bill "The Sports Guy" Simmons featured a reader-submitted YouTube clip of Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa circa 1998, with the following description:

Here's an incredible YouTube find from Tim in Pittsburgh. I'll let him explain: "I found my old VCR tape of McGwire's No. 62 game, and it had this gem of an interview with Sosa and McGwire before the game. Looking back, it's off-the-scale hilarious. There's also some aspect of 'Ambiguously Gay Duo' that comes across as well." And then some. It's impossible to believe that this was only 10 years and 13 Joe Buck hair stylists ago.

Here's the clip:

Joe Buck's perma-combover notwithstanding, with all the artificial testosterone pumping through their respective veins it's amazing that the prevailing sentiment was homoeroticism. One can only imagine they were one missed man-hug away from an epic roid-fueled throwdown of Clemens/Piazza bat hurling proportions.

-Unreal

OK, so the Cardinals finally broke down and signed free agent pitcher Kyle Lohse to a one-year deal, according to the Associated Press.

But to judge from his comments, rookie general manager John Mozeliak did the deal while holding his nose.

"If it were a perfect world, we wouldn't have had to go down this path," AP sportswriter R.B. Fallstrom quotes Mozeliak as saying. "But it's not and we're going to need someone to pitch every fifth day.

"At some point, we may be dealing with a strength instead of a weakness."

The Cards got Lohse for $4.25 million plus incentives that could nudge the price tag close to $5 million.

That's cheap!

As Viva El Birdos blogger Larry Borowsky has pointed out more than once, the 29-year-old Lohse's numbers are remarkably similar to those of former Cardinal hurler Jeff Suppan when Suppan came to the Cardinals.

The tale of the tape:

Suppan through 2003:
Starts: 206
W-L: 62-75
ERA: 4.90
Walks+Hits per inning: 1.423
K's/9 innings: 5.0
HR's/9 innings: 1.2

Lohse through 2007:
Starts: 195
W-L: 63-74
ERA: 4.82
Walks+Hits per inning: 1.432
K's/9 innings: 5.7
HR's/9 innings: 1.2

What's not to like -- with the possible exception of Lohse's dubious choice of agents (Scott Boras)?

Here's a link to Borowsky's most recent Lohse post, and to a previous one on the ex-Twins/Reds/Phillies pitcher. And here you can find Lohse's career numbers.

-Tom Finkel

The Kansas City Star ran its in-depth piece on the hoops school Milestone Christian Academy and its suspended pastor/principal/coach, Peter Flournoy in yesterday’s paper.

High school sports reporter/columnist Candace Buckner details some of the promises (laptop computers, for instance, and Adidas uniforms) Flournoy made to basketball recruits and their parents. According to the story, Flournoy didn’t deliver on the promises.

Buckner also reveals that Flournoy went AWOL from the U.S. Army and may have misrepresented his education and training.

She reports that Milestone’s rolls have dwindled to about 20 students, from 65 earlier this year. Buckner also says that the boys’ varsity basketball team now features three foreigners: two Colombians and a seven-foot Serb.

-Kristen Hinman