Admit it. When you turned on the game last night, you thought you were seeing a ghost. Standing out there on the mound, looking as if he had every right in the world to be there, was the ghost of Chris Carpenter.
Not all athletes are fit to be in commercials for thick-and-chunky soup, or posing for cameras while high-fiving kids with disabilities in televised public-service announcements. Just not going to happen, because athletes are people too.
St. Louis is a sports city unlike any other of comparable population for its history and tradition. But it has had its share of problem athletes and fiery characters.
Some have been downright villainous, while others' actions seem to fall into the realm of "WTF were you thinking?"
Here they are, the biggest thugs in St. Louis sports history. Put your suggestions at the bottom.
Ah. I see your game now, Tony.
You give Ryan Franklin the vote of confidence, causing me to go into a raging tirade about making Kyle McClellan the closer, then you come out a couple of hours later and make Izzy the closer again. I see what you did there.
Tony La Russa is trying to destroy my brain.
Well, one out of three against the Mets is certainly better than 0-for-4 against the Brewers, right?
Of course, even within that one victory over the New York club, we still saw the club's current closer, one Mr. Ryan Franklin, give up a home run in the ninth inning. It was the third outing in a row that Franklin had allowed a homer. It was the fifth time out of the last six games that the Cardinals gave up a run in the eighth or ninth inning.
It's time to make Kyle McClellan the closer.
I remember the first time I ever saw Anthony Reyes pitch. It was in August 2005, when he made his big-league debut against the Milwaukee Brewers.
We have a very special Card of the Week this time out, ladies and gentlemen. Well, at least sort of special. Okay, maybe not all that special. But really cool, nonetheless.
This week's card comes to us from the personal collection of Dwayne M. of Coral Gables, Florida. Dwayne has been an avid collector for most of his life, since sometime in the mid '60s, he tells me.
What we have here is just what the Cardinals need right now: a shutdown closer.
Rocco Landesman, Clayton High School Class of '65, has submitted a bid for the Chicago Cubs.
"Springtime for Piniella," indeed.
Can somebody please tell me why this team insists on carrying thirteen pitchers?
By AARON SCHAFER (e-mail)
ST. LOUIS -- In a Tuesday night press conference, Tony La Russa announced that he is forming a new organization, known as the Reliever Rescue Foundation.
"There's just a whole lot of relievers that need help out there right now," said the longtime St. Louis Cardinals manager and animal rights activist.
From his office in the Cardinals' clubhouse, La Russa asked, "Who's gonna help them out? I don't see anyone stepping up."
La Russa then lifted a relief pitcher, a lefty with dark markings and the name Flores on his jersey, up on to his lap.
"Take this guy, for instance," La Russa said as he nuzzled the reliever's ears, "I mean, he hasn't been good since 2005. This is the kind of reliever that just gets thrown out elsewhere. But not here. Not in St. Louis.''
In the 2005 cinematic masterpiece The Ringer, Johnny Knoxville plays a regular-guy jackass who tries to rig the Special Olympics by posing as a mentally disabled participant. Any movie made in such monumentally bad taste is right up Unreal's alley. That's why when both the RFT softball squad and its opponent, Grady's Bar, each debuted its own ringer last night, Unreal was delighted to see them do their best to re-enact the Knoxville classic.
After a perfunctory RFT top of the first, Grady's jumped out to an early lead when a strapping left-handed slugger sporting a Lindenwood College Baseball T-shirt (who'd been conspicuously absent from earlier Grady's contests) swatted a home run in the bottom of the frame. Grady's tacked on a few more in the early innings, belting balls down the left-field line and blooping base hits up the middle. Meanwhile, their veteran hurler was stymieing the alt-weekly's offense with precisely located, high-arcing pitches.
Like a champion Special Olympics sprinter, however, the RFTers showed a strong kick as they approached the finish line.
Sigh. Another day, another offensive comeback, another bullpen collapse. Pretty much just another day here in Cardinal Country.
The problem is that the St. Louis Cardinals really, really needed that game last night (''Cards rally late, but fall in extras.'') Seth McClung was probably the worst pitcher the Cards are going to see in this series.
Tonight they'll see their former comrade Jeff Suppan. He's on his way off the disabled list, so the Cards may manage to get him at less than peak effectiveness, but it gets even worse after that.
They'll see CC Sabathia on Wednesday night, with Braden Looper opposing him. Not exactly an even match-up.
Then, on Thursday, Ben Sheets will go for the Brewers. The Cardinals will most likely counter with either Brad Thompson or Mitchell Boggs. Again, well, you get the idea.
You couldn't have asked for much better of a weekend of baseball, really. A sweep of the San Diego Padres, back to within two games of the Chicago Cubs, and still holding on to the wild card lead over the red hot Brewers. To top it all off, a walk off grand slam from perhaps the least likely possible source, Aaron Miles. Not too bad, huh?
Still, lost in all the excitement of the walk-off yesterday and the four-game sweep was yet another poor showing by the Cardinal bullpen. After the dramatic eighth inning homer by Troy Glaus that put the Cards up 5-3, in came Jason Isringhausen and handed the game right back to the Padres.
It's Friday in the Gateway City, and you all know what that means. It's time again for our Baseball Card of the Week here at the Rundown.
In honor of Kyle Lohse becoming the Cardinals' first twelve-game winner of the year last night, I'm bringing you a card from my own personal collection.
I'm not taking any responsibility for this post (hell, I'm not even going to edit out the grammatical errors), but this e-mail has caught on like wildfire today.
BRUSSELS -- Anheuser-Busch has accepted a $52 billion takeover bid from Belgium-based InBev NV to create the world's largest beer maker and end a month-long standoff. While pitching the deal in recent weeks, InBev chief executive Carlos Brito has said that he is "committed to the city of St. Louis" and that changes here would be minimal. One that Brito said will show up shortly after this weeks Major League Baseball All-Star event in New York will be a minor one in the long standing uniforms worn by the St. Louis Cardinal Baseball team. First-baseman Albert Pujols, one of the first to try the new outfits said "while it may take a little time for Cardinal fans to fall in line behind the change, I personally like them a lot. They'll really be enjoyable during those hot, muggy days in late July and August. I expect all of the fans will be wearing them before the end of the season!" Sporting goods stores around the St. Louis area report brisk sales of the new Cardinal memorabilia.
(photo after the jump)
By AARON SCHAFER (e-mail)
Here at The Rundown, we pay a lot of attention to the action on the field. It is kind of our job, after all. But what happens on the field is only part of the story.
It's been a busy year for the St. Louis Cardinals, and only a fraction of the action has occurred between the lines. So let's take a look at the year so far and see just what we may have all missed while we were watching the games, shall we?
