Losing Faith in the Future of the Cardinals

Categories: Cardinals
Colby Rasmus and Brendan Ryan are really good baseball players. 
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thedirty.com
I just have to keep telling myself that. Brendan Ryan is one of the best defensive shortstops in the game, and I once saw Colby Rasmus save a group of orphans who were out Christmas caroling when a terrorist fired a rocket launcher at them. Colby chased down the projectile and hauled it in before it could hit the singing foundlings, and all was well. 

Colby Rasmus and Brendan Ryan are really good baseball players. 

That being said, I feel as if a little piece of me has died now that I've been forced to witness the two of them hanging out with man about town and occasional theDirty.com discussion topic Timberfake
Okay, so maybe the two of them were just hanging out somewhere, and this guy shows up. And then, being good guys and all, our two young heroes agree to take some pictures with the dude, in spite of his obvious douchiness. See, they're just good guys who can't turn down a fan! 

Colby Rasmus and Brendan Ryan are really good baseball players. 

Or how about this: maybe Brendan and the Colbster were hanging out and discussing plans for their new joint venture, a film discussion group focusing on the lesser-known independent work of major Hollywood stars. So they're trying to down their choices and debating whether or not Wes Anderson films really count, and suddenly Colby looks over and think he sees Mark Ruffalo

"Why, I say old chum," he says, turning to Brendan, "I do believe that is Mark Ruffalo! What better way to highlight the plight of the modern movie star than to bring in a true auteur such as he, who has done such uncompromising work in addition to the standard pap?" 

"Colby old boy, I could not agree more!" says Brendan, downing a handful of Ritalin. "We should call him over and ascertain whether or not he would be amenable to being our guest at a screening of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, it being a work full of many such luminaries, all doing their proverbial 'one for yourself' project!" 

And so our twin cinemaphiles (totally accidental New Pornographers joke there, by the way), call over the man they believe to be Mark Ruffalo, only to discover their error. By way of apology, the two considerate renaissance men agree to pose for a picture with the doppleganger. See, it was all a case of mistaken identity, and they were just trying to rectify the situation! 

Colby Rasmus and Brendan Ryan are really good baseball players. 

Or, maybe I'm just fooling myself. Maybe Brendan Ryan really is wearing what looks suspiciously like a tee shirt from the Ryan Braun by Affliction collection. (And by the way, beware of that Affliction link. That music just does not fucking stop.) As for what Colby has on, I'm not familiar with the exploded Mickey Mouse tee (here's the closest thing I could find with a brief Googling), but I'm kind of liking it. The hat, though... Really, Colby? Do you honestly think a baseball cap looks good that way? 

Either way, I'm glad Brendan still has the mustache. And as for Colby's hand clearly being on Brendan's knee, well, um... Hmm. Alright, give me a minute or two to think of a story, okay? 

First off, Colby Rasmus and Brendan Ryan are really good baseball players...

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