Team USA Survives (Barely) to Fight Another Day

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We can all exhale now. 

I'll admit it: I fully expected the U.S. to get bounced against Switzerland. Not before the game, mind you, but sometime right around the end of the first period, a period in which Jonas Hiller blocked 18 shots on goal while his team managed only 4 of their own, I started to feel a little queasy. I started thinking to myself, "Oh, no. This can't be the way this team goes out. They've got to at least get a chance.

Hiller nearly did to the Americans what Miller did for the Americans just a couple nights back. And I couldn't help but feel karma might just be getting ready to bite our boys squarely on the ass. 


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Blurring the Lines of Dis- and Over-Abled

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Here we see Steve Austin training for the next Olympic games. But will he be allowed to compete?
There's an outstanding article over at Gizmodo right now everyone, and I do mean everyone, should read. It's an article by Aimee Mullins, whose name you may not be all that familiar with, but you should be. She's an athlete slash model slash public speaker slash writer who also just happens to have two prosthetic legs, and therein lies the focus of the article in question. 


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Baseball Card of the Week: Because Sometimes, We All Need a Little Kuntz

Hey there, everybody! I know I haven't done one of these in a while, since it didn't seem to be all that popular a feature, but with all the talk recently of Topps' and MLB's exclusive deal and what it may mean to the future of the card collecting industry, I thought now might be a good time to dust the old girl off. 


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Corrections and Retractions: Juan Encarnacion Not a Statesman After All

Okay, so it looks like Juan Encarnacion isn't running for a Senate seat in the Dominican Republic. 

As first reported by Derrick Goold of the Post-Dispatch, Encarnacion wasn't quoted as saying he was running for a Senate seat; in fact, he wasn't actually in the Dominican Republic when he was supposed to have been quoted. 

So here's where I fall on my sword and apologize for getting the story wrong. I am, in fact, sorry, but I'm actually much more confused by this. I certainly wasn't expecting the whole thing to be a fabrication. Oh, well. I do truly apologize for the error. 

In addition to confusion, I must also admit to a bit of disappointment. Charity work is all well and good, but I was really hoping to get a chance to follow election coverage in a language I don't actually understand this autumn. Sigh. 

Well, Mr. Encarnacion, if you ever decide you do wish to run for the Dominican Senate, you can certainly count on my vote. I mean, you could, if I lived in the DR. Which I don't. So maybe that's not as meaningful a gesture as I had planned. How about this: if you ever decide to run for the Senate, I promise to write about it. Hell, I wrote about your political career when it was fake; just think how big a story it'll be when it's true. 

I Blame the Demicrats!

So apparently we can all blame Barack Obama for the crappy non-tribute to Stan the Man. Due to the increased scheduling pressure Obama's appearance to throw out the first pitch put on everyone, it simply wasn't possible to fit in anything better for Musial. 

I've said it before, and I'll say it again, folks. Democracy simply does not work. 

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The Home Run Derby: Not the Worst Thing Ever After All

All right, I'll admit it. In spite of my disdain for the Home Run Derby, I was on the edge of my seat last night when Albert had to win a hit-off to advance to the second round. I just kept thinking, "You have to hit more than Joe Mauer, Albert. You just have to!" 

Nothing against Joe Mauer, of course; in fact, when my friends and I play that game, the one where you're starting a team from scratch and have to come up with what players you would choose, Mauer is always my second position player, right after Pujols himself. But my love for Joe Mauer isn't the point. The point is Joe Mauer has no business ever being in a home run hitting contest, and Albert Pujols most definitely does. 

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The Final Word on Brad Thompson's Options

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Via shgmom56/Flickr
Brad Thompson in 2008.
Okay. the verdict is in. We finally have an answer. 

After much debate, much discussion, and a fair bit of research which made me question my sanity, as well as whether or not the word option actually existed in baseball, the answer finally came from the most obvious, and easiest, option of all: the Cardinals themselves. (Like the option pun there? That's why I make the big bucks.) 

According to Brian Bartow, spokesman for the Cardinals, Brad Thompson does, in fact, still have an option remaining. In 2008, he was disabled, then optioned down, but due to injury, he was recalled within the normal ten day period during which an optioned player is ineligible to come back to the majors, and the option itself was waived in this case.
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Let's Fix the Cardinals Roster, Shall We?

Yesterday, I wrote about the troubles that the Cardinals are having right now, particularly in terms of the offense, and how those issues are directly related to the way that this roster is constructed. Today, I wanted to see if I could come up with some options on how to fix these problems. 

First, though, a quick word about the options status of Brad Thompson. An astute commenter yesterday pointed out that Thompson was already sent to the minors this year (after the game in which Chris Carpenter got hurt, in fact; that awful loss to Arizona), and then recalled, so he did have options. The thing is, he was sent down, but I'm pretty sure the team had to expose him to waivers to do so. Looking at his status and the transaction log on him, I can't for the life of me figure out any way he would still have any options left. I know for a fact that Thompson was optioned in 2006, '07, and '08, which would be all three years he should have had options. I know there is a fourth option year for certain players (Anthony Reyes had a fourth option year last season, in fact), but that's only for guys who get to the big leagues really quickly. Thompson does not fall into that category. 

Thanks to anyway1102 for pointing out something I was remiss in including, but I'm pretty sure that Thompson would still have to be put through waivers to send him down again. The team got away with it once, while WonderBrad was sporting an ERA somewhere in the mid-6.00 range; I doubt they'll risk it again. 


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Cubs Fans Strike Back: "Pujols Mows My Lawn"

The Cards-Cubs rivalry is turning into an arms race of offensive baseball t-shirts. Responding to the "Zambrano mows my lawn" shirts that sparked the ire of sports bloggers across the Internetz awhile back, one Wrigleyville shirt vendor has stepped above the fray and come up with this retort:

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http://sportsdeskspeaks.blogspot.com

Forget the bigotry, the fact that both teams have several Hispanic players, and the copyright infringement. What's really offensive about this shirt is the misplaced apostrophe.

(Props to The Big Dead Sidebar for the scoop.)

This Just In: Tony Banks Apparently Not a Douchebag, Local Sports Columnist Apparently Is

You know what? This really sucks. 

Tony Banks was on the radio yesterday, joining the Fast Lane on 101.1 ESPN, and unfortunately for me, he seems like a really nice guy. I say unfortunately because it's much harder to make fun of someone when they're a decent human being. 

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Okay, so that is still one funny fucking picture. There, I feel better now. 
Tony was pleasant, funny, even humble. You couldn't come on and pull some sort of Terrell Owens kind of shit? Talk about how the fans were shitty, and Vermeil disrespected you, and how the ladies here weren't worth your time anyway? The guy didn't once refer to himself in the third person, for god's sake! 

Banks even laughs at himself, laughs at the bad performances that he and his Rams teams put up while he was here in town. Now, he even works with a company that makes educational software to help kids stay in school!

Sigh. You know what? I don't even have the strength anymore. Are you happy, Tony? You've beaten me. I can't find anything else bad to say about you. 

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go crawl into a bottle of scotch. 

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