Larry Johnson was given his walking papers yesterday by the Kansas City Chiefs, after they had finally had enough of his antics. The latest incident involved him criticising the Chiefs' head coach, Todd Haley, and using gay slurs to attack both members of the KC media and commenters on his Twitter page. Of course, the real reason Johnson was released wasn't because he's a bad guy (which he most assuredly is), but because he's a bad guy who isn't an elite football player any more.
As part of my job writing this column, I listen to an enormous amount of sports talk radio. It's incredibly unpleasant much of the time, mind you, and will eventually destroy whatever faith you have in humanity, but hey, it's part of the job. I have to know not only what is actually going on in the sporting world, but what people are saying about it as well.
Yesterday and today, what people have been talking about is Larry Johnson. Pretty much every angle has been covered, with the most pressing question being, "Would you take him?" And I've heard something several times from callers into these shows that I just can't let go. On at least three separate occasions I can recall, I've heard callers refer to Johnson's use of various slurs as a free speech issue. One older gentleman, calling into Brian Kenny's show on ESPN Radio last night, asked no fewer than five times, "Whatever happened to free speech?"
Really?
"You want to put in a clause protecting professional athletes' right to call people fags on the internet? Mr. Madison, that seems awfully specific, and I don't understand several of the words in that sentence."
Will Leitch, superhero of pithy internet writers everywhere and close, personal friend of yours truly, needs your help. And if you don't help him, I will come to your house and I will cut you, so help me god.
You know, I've stayed above the fray to this point in the whole Steve Phillipsextramarital affair scandal. Ever since I first read about the situation, every single thought I've had for a column to write about it has seemed just way, way too mean. Not to Phillips himself, mind you, because I really don't think he deserves any sort of mercy. But the woman involved, oy.
The poor girl, Brooke Hundley, is getting killed on every single blog, sports channel, radio show, absolutely everything. And not because she had an affair with a married man, mind you. No, she's getting clobbered because she's, well, somewhat less than stunning. (She has been dubbed by the New York Post the "Tubby Temptress," among other things.)
So I've tried to stay out of it. No need for me to add my own nasty commentary on this sordid affair. But now, I just can't help myself any longer.
Ryan Franklin, seen here in a file photo, proves to be an outstanding interview subject.
Ryan Franklin was on the ITD Morning After on 101.1 ESPN the other day, and I have to say it was of the more interesting interviews I can recall hearing an athlete give in quite some time. He talked about the blowup in Game 2 of the NLDS, Matt Holliday possibly returning to the Cardinals, and John Smoltz' opinion of the St. Louis area in general.
Just a quick reminder to everyone out there: today is the day the old crew from Fire Joe Morgan is running Deadspin. If you haven't already, pop over and witness blogging history. (There's a phrase you don't hear every day.)
Last I checked, Ken Tremendous hadn't posted anything yet, but I'm waiting with bated breath for the return of one of my greatest heroes.
I'm a nerd, yes. And yes, I do occasionally feel bad about it. So what?
Hey, you know what I like? Jokes. How about you guys?
You do? Well that's just great. Have I ever got a treat for you.
Have you heard the one about the little girl who was kidnapped, tossed into some dude's yard, raped repeatedly, impregnated, forced to give birth in a shed, and kept imprisoned in a state of perpetual fear and misery for eighteen years?
Well, she certainly doesn't know much about sports, now does she?
AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Get it? She doesn't know sports!
Why aren't you laughing? She's way behind on sports. See, it's funny because she was tortured and sexually violated for almost two decades, and during that time, the sports world had a whole lot of stuff happen she doesn't know about! See? Funny!
Nothing? Really? Man, you guys have no sense of humor whatsoever. You know who would have found that hilarious? Mark Whicker. Now there's a guy who knows funny when he sees it.
Ordinarily, I'm a big fan of Gentlemen's Quarterly magazine. I freely admit I have a bit of a thing for fashion. Don't judge me. The articles in GQ are pretty okay, too, with plenty of solid journalism and, usually, pretty damned fine interviews. I used to be a subscriber, in fact, but I forgot to renew last time my subscription was up and haven't rectified the situation as of yet.
The piece is written by Jason Fagone, and is entitled "Does God Have a Tim Tebow Complex?" The title is easily the least worshipful part of the entire article.
I'm going to ignore all the irritating God stuff. Okay, we get it. Tim
Tebow loves him some Jesus. Good for him. Just once, I would love for
an athlete to be asked about how it feels to accomplish something and
answer, "Well, Bob, it feels great to know I didn't need an imaginary
higher power to convince me I'm a worthwhile being capable of
succeeding in life, you know? And also, I knew that with two men on,
the pitcher didn't want to load the bases, so I was probably gonna see
a strike."
And that is a good thing, writes Jason Zengerle in a brief profile in The Atlantic of St. Louis Athletica goalie Hope Solo.
Solo's polarizing persona is what makes her so crucial to the new
league's fortunes. The last professional women's soccer league in the
U.S., the Women's United Soccer Association, lasted only three
seasons -- largely because it lacked edge. "The WUSA sort of had a focus
on preteen, ponytailed girls who aspired to play soccer someday, and so
their messaging was around 'cause marketing': 'This league is something
girls deserve to have, and as a fan you ought to support this,'" says
Tonya Antonucci, a former Yahoo executive and the new league's
commissioner. "We're presenting an environment that's not about
babysitting kids but is an opportunity to watch the best and be
entertained by the best."
At the 2007 World Cup, Solo was benched from a semifinal game against Brazil. Afterward she told a reporter that if she'd been in goal the U.S. would not have lost 4-0. She was subsequently banned from the rest of the tournament and the plane ride home.
More recently Solo caused a stir by refusing to wear a hot-pink padded goalie jersey designed by Puma, incidentally a sponsor of Women's Professional Soccer. She said it was girly and juvenile and unprofessional. Now she wears red.
It's interesting to speculate if WPS would attract more raucous, drunken fans -- which Zengerle believes is necessary for it to have some "edge" and ensure the league's survival -- if more players were like Solo. It's true she's more of a jerk than Mia Hamm, but she's still got nothing on Manchester United's Wayne Rooney.
You know, it's really easy to rag on Al Hrabosky and Dan McLaughlin.
You're probably waiting on a but, aren't you? Well, there isn't one. I'm just stating a fact. It's easy to rag on Dan and Al, mostly because they're terrible at their jobs. Even when I agree with one of them, as in Hrabosky's recent spat with the manager, it's still impossible to ignore the awfulness that is the FSN broadcast.
Let's face it; there isn't anyone in the Cards' broadcast booth who can compete with that mustache.
And just because I'm such a nice guy, I would like to point you toward a profile of some really good broadcasters, the television broadcast team for the New York Metropolitans. Gary Cohen, Ron Darling, and Keith Hernandez may just be the best broadcast team currently working on the television side, and I would venture to say they're probably better than 90% of the radio teams out there too.
It really hurts me to say this, as I remember the days of the Pond Scum Mets. I grew up hating the Mets nearly as much as the Cubs, and that's saying something. Unfortunately, I also can't ignore quality when I see it, and the Mets have it in the booth in spades.
Last night, Erik Manning over at Future Redbirds recorded the first ever edition of Future Redbirds Radio. He featured Matt Baker, who covers the Springfield Cardinals for the Springfield News-Leader, and yours truly. I thought it went really well, although I do feel bad that I have a bit of a cold at the moment and couldn't keep from coughing a couple times. (For the record, I also didn't realize it would be as audible as it was.)
As to why I'm so much louder than the other two participants, I really have no idea, other than the fact that I'm kind of a loud, obnoxious person. (Not really, but I am noticeably louder than either Erik or Matt.)
Topics covered included the Mark DeRosa trade, the overall relief depth in the minors, players on the Double A roster, and Wagner Mateo. Check it out.
Last night was the debut of Joe Buck's new show on HBO, called, appropriately enough, Joe Buck Live. Now, let me get this out of the way at the very beginning: I'm a fan of Joe Buck. I've always enjoyed listening to him call a game, whether that be on television or on the radio. He isn't his father, but then again, who is?
With that said, I also want to say this: I'm a little bit tired of Joe Buck.
I was at a restaurant last night, eating dinner with a friend of mine, and the establishment's televisions were tuned to the Cardinal game. Of course, being a noisy restaurant, the sound wasn't audible, but the closed captioning was on, so I could still read the commentary coming from Dan 'n Al.
Well, about that time, Colby Rasmus comes up in the third inning and proceeds to hit a bomb out to left-center field, his sixth long ball of the year. I'm happy, my friend is happy, the few other diners who were paying attention were happy. Exciting to see the Cardinals score a run, and the kid look like he's starting to come out of his tailspin a bit.
In fact, the only person who didn't seem happy was Al Hrabosky.
So apparently George Brett doesn't like it when people take shots at the Royals manager. Who knew?
Oh, and he hates sportswriters and media people pretty much just in general. Sort of makes me glad I'm over on this side of the state, you know? Tough to feel good about yourself when a Hall of Famer thinks you're a waste of carbon.
Not because he's a decent human being, mind you, or even because he's all that good at his job. However, the former San Diego Padres' play-by-play announcer is pretty much always good for a laugh, and that's really good enough for me.
Mr. Vasgersian is the guest this week on Deadspin's Deadcast and he's got a lot to say. Including, at long last, the reason that he hates St. Louis so much: "I hate downtown St. Louis... build a friggin' convenience store, somewhere in downtown St. Louis. It's a bad hotel town, in fact it's a really bad hotel town..." He rambles on from there, but raises a good point -- when are they going to build something where Ballpark Village should be?
(To be fair, he may be on to something there.) Skip to the 41-minute mark to hear the St. Louis portion of the interview.
Vasgersian's less-than-complimentary comments about St. Louis first were posted back in 2007, when he said on-air:
I'm done with this [St. Louis]...I'm so tired of losing here.....It's hotter
than shit......We get our asses kicked every time we come here .....I'm
not coming here next year.
But wait, he was just joking around with his co-workers in the broadcast booth. Phew.
Then comes the latest round of totally hilarious St. Louis bashing. So get your yucks and enjoy the sound of a Vasgersian being palpated.
First off, I have to wonder, why in the hell does Brett Favre want revenge on Green Bay?
They gainfully employed him for years, the fans worshiped the guy, and I'm sure that an annual offering of vestal virgins was made at his altar. And for that he wants revenge? The only reason Favre isn't still under center for the Packers is because he wouldn't stop stringing them along with bullshit retirement talk, and they finally had to make a decision to do what was best for the team and move on. Hmm. Weird. It's almost like Brett Favre just doesn't get it, isn't it? But that couldn't possibly be the case, could it? After all, he's a living god, and all that...
You would think that
the day when a young man signs with an NFL team would be one of, if not the,
happiest day in that young man's life. The money, the prospect of national
recognition, it should all be just perfect.
See, the day that
Mizzou's Most Favorite Football Player Ever Daniel signed with the Washington Redskins, Chase was apparently Twittering his
little heart out, happily telling anyone and everyone interested about how well
the process was going.
You know, every day I sit down at the computer terminal here in Rundown Headquarters (also known as my mother's basement), and I start tapping away at the keys. My goal is to try and come up with something that is either interesting, funny, informative, odd, or maybe all of the above.
Some days it's easy. The words just flow out on to the page, and I never need the backspace key. Other days, I struggle and fight for every phrase, just grinding it out until finally some semblance of an article or two has been achieved.
And then, every once in a while, someone else does my job for me. I'm not going to lie; those are the best days of all.
Thanks to the sheer idiocy that is Matt Vasgersian, today is one of those wonderful days when I don't even have to think of an idea.
Thanks to devoted reader and friend of the blog Kenneth Kitchin (who sent in one of the very first batches of baseball cards ever featured here, with both Cal Eldred and Andy Benes being represented), I can bring to all of you the so-exciting-I-may-be-unable-to-control-my-bladder news that Kevin Goldstein, Will Carroll, and Steve Goldman, all of Baseball Prospectus, are going to be at Left Bank Books tomorrow, not once, but twice. They'll be book-ending the Cards' day game with the Metropolitans of Flushing, appearing at both 11 a.m. and 7 p.m.
If you're not familiar with the work of these fellows over at BP, go check it out, right now. Subscribe to the site, and become a baseball god. I'm telling you, it's the best money you'll ever spend. Then, when you've absorbed more baseball knowledge than you ever believed existed in this world, head on down to Left Bank and personally thank the men themselves for cramming your skull full of such wonderful wisdom.
They will appear at the new downtown location of Left Bank, at 321 N. 10th Street.
Harry Kalas, the voice of the Philadelphia Phillies, was found unconscious earlier today in the Washington Nationals' broadcast booth, where he was preparing to work the Nats-Phillies game. He was taken to the hospital, where he later passed away. Cause of death is as yet unknown.
The death of Mr. Kalas yet another step closer to the end of the broadcasting age, it seems. Of the great old broadcasters, only a couple are left. Vin Scully, out in Los Angeles, is the grand old man of them all now. (Confession time: I've never really liked Scully. I like a little more energy. There. I just had to get that off my chest.) Milo Hamilton still does a very limited schedule of games in Houston, and Dave Niehaus is still the voice of the Seattle Mariners after all these years, and that's pretty much it.
Harry Caray is gone. Mel Allen is gone. Jack Buck, still the greatest of them all in my ever so humble opinion, is gone. The days of tuning the radio to the ballgame and knowing instantly who you were listening to seem to be numbered.
You know the voice of Harry Kalas, even if you don't realize it. In addition to broadcasting for the Phillies, Kalas was also the narrator for all the NFL Films productions. Here, try this: just imagine the words, "Doomsday Defense." Okay, that voice you hear saying it? That's Harry Kalas.
Albert Pujols has opened himself back up to the media in recent weeks, first with a Sports Illustrated profile earlier this month, and out today, a sports section cover story in USA Today.
Friends, I think you'll all agree that, in general, I'm a pretty positive guy. A ray of sunshine in an otherwise overcast land of --
What? You don't agree with that? You say that I'm bitter, nasty, sarcastic, and rather appalling human being in general?
Alright. Fair enough. That's probably closer to the truth. I am kind of a bastard most of the time. I can't really help it, you know? Just the way things are.
And so, in the spirit of continuing to be a bastard to just about everyone, I would like to relate to you the story of two incredibly dumb things that I heard yesterday.
One of my very favorite prospects in the Cardinals' system, David Kopp, is blogging for MLB. Kind of cool to get the players' perspective; everyone gets to hear what loudmouths like myself have to say all the time, but it's much more unusual to actually get the scoop from inside the game itself.
Of course, this also means that if athletes and the like continue to do more and more of their own writing and promotion and such, said loudmouths will likely cease to be necessary. So, you know, as much as I like Kopp and all, I can't really wish him much luck in his blogging venture. Hopefully, he fails miserably and just has to concentrate on his pitching.
You know, I ordinarily try to avoid putting too much weight into anything I read about baseball in the mainstream media, non-Derrick Goold division. It just seems like if you want even halfway competent analysis on the sport, you have to look at a baseball-only outlet these days. Not sure why, but that's just how it seems to be going.
Sadly, as part of my employment here at the RFT, I do have to do a fair amount of research, poring through the local publications, as well as various nationals, in order to both generate story fodder and gauge the climate around the sporting world.
You may not know the name Yu Darvish, but let me tell you something, you will.
Darvish is a young Japanese pitching phenom, the most dominant pitcher to come along in Japan since Daisuke Matsuzaka. In fact, there are at least a few people saying that Darvish may be even better than the man we all now know as Dice-K.
Right now, ESPN2 is showing a replay of the Japan-China World Baseball Classic game that took place this morning. Just a recommendation, but you ought to check it out. I won't ruin the game for you by revealing the result, just in case you want to watch it.
The game is on until 4 pm Central, followed by some sort of NASCAR atrocity. I don't know if there will be another replay after this; check it out if you have a moment. Mr. Darvish is, so far, everything I've heard and more.
And just in case you're stuck at the office and have no access to a television, here's a bit of Yu to watch.
I was going to get all David Letterman on everyone and write a Top Ten list of jokes about dead boaters. Luckily, someone was dumb enough to set an example as to why that's a bad idea. Everybody, meet Mike Valenti.
Mr. Valenti is a radio show host in Detroit, one half of The Valenti and Foster Show on station WXYT, and one of the primary contributors to The Sports Inferno, a Detroit sports-themed Web site. He's also just not the brightest light bulb on the marquee.
See, on Monday afternoon, Valenti read a couple of jokes sent via instant message from listeners about Corey Smith, the NFL player currently missing and presumed lost at sea. Now, I'm sure that jokes about people losing their lives in tragic accidents are awesome and all, but apparently, it's just too soon for some wet blanket types, and now Valenti's got his balls in a vice.
After the drubbing the Missouri Tigers received last weekend at the hands of Kansas, there was certainly some doubt when it came to their chances of victory in Wednesday night's home match-up against fourth-ranked Oklahoma.
Of course by now you know that Mizzou won big, beating the Sooners 73-64, keeping themselves in contention for a share of the Big 12 title, and avenging a long string of embarrassing losses to OU on the football field.
Still, I couldn't help but wonder what the headline writers at ESPN.com where smoking when they came up with this one: "No. 12 Mizzou stuns fifth-ranked Oklahoma."
Check the top headline in the right corner of this screen grab:
Just in time for Cardinals spring training, the bloggers over at InsideSTL have unearthed (or more precisely, found on YouTube), the 21-year-old KSDK sports broadcast featuring a spry Mike Bush announcing that the Cardinals had clinched the old National League East title. See if you can spot a visiting Keith Hernandez, and a few other New York Mets, sitting the old Busch Stadium luxury boxes, watching the game. (The Mets finished three games behind the Cardinals in the standings in '87.)
You know, you hear a lot about what a lousy cable company Comcast is. Pretty much any time you browse a forum of people talking about television, whether it's sports or just general programming, you hear complaints from all quarters about Comcast. Bad reception, poor customer service, lack of HD channels, shitty programming package options, pretty much everything. Basically, as awful as Charter is, Comcast is much, much worse.
Well, Comcast is trying to make it all up to its customers.
In addition to discussing the remarkable circumstances that led to a Seattle Mariners blog called the U.S.S. Mariner directly influencing the approach of their star young pitcher Felix Hernandez, I asked Tony La Russa about his opinion of blogs and advanced statistical analysis, and interviewed Larry Borowsky, creator of the popular stat-head Cardinals blog Viva El Birdos.
The take-home message at the time was that while sports blogs are better than ever and wield considerable power in some cities, the Cardinals organization wasn't exactly on the cutting edge of the trend.
The resulting dialogue reveals that not only are the Cardinals not going to do much with their roster between now and the start of the season, but that the Internet makes for pure comedy gold when it puts ignorant hecklers in direct, unfiltered contact with the guy who runs their favorite baseball team.
Let's run through a few quick highlights, shall we?
There's the angry:
I Hate Bill Dewitt!!: Mo,
Please describe what it's like living in your little land of make believe where you honestly believe that Cardinal fans should be excited about this team. If you wouldn't mind, go into details, about how in MO's world people are celebrating are three horrible new lefty relievers, and the signing of our awesome new .213 hitting shortstop.
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