Notre Dame head coach Charlie Weis could be out at the end of the season. But who should replace him?
As we near the end of another college football season, one of America's favorite subjects rises again: What happens to Notre Dame?
Why is this non-story a story? Yu don't have to look far -- whether in St. Louis or in any other part of the country -- Notre Dame fans, however obnoxious or uppity, are everywhere.
Since Lou Holtz left the Irish after the '96 season, the national relevance of the program has diminished almost as much as Holtz's relevance as an ESPN analyst. Notre Dame has no trouble being relevant to fans or the media because it's, well, Notre Dame. But the program isn't the problem, it's the coach. When Charlie Weis was brought in five years ago, it was because he was an alumni and he had credentials as the offensive coordinator for the Super Bowl-winning dynasty New England Patriots. It seemed like a logical choice, right?
Here we see Steve Austin training for the next Olympic games. But will he be allowed to compete?
There's an outstanding article over at Gizmodo right now everyone, and I do mean everyone, should read. It's an article by Aimee Mullins, whose name you may not be all that familiar with, but you should be. She's an athlete slash model slash public speaker slash writer who also just happens to have two prosthetic legs, and therein lies the focus of the article in question.
Larry Johnson was given his walking papers yesterday by the Kansas City Chiefs, after they had finally had enough of his antics. The latest incident involved him criticising the Chiefs' head coach, Todd Haley, and using gay slurs to attack both members of the KC media and commenters on his Twitter page. Of course, the real reason Johnson was released wasn't because he's a bad guy (which he most assuredly is), but because he's a bad guy who isn't an elite football player any more.
As part of my job writing this column, I listen to an enormous amount of sports talk radio. It's incredibly unpleasant much of the time, mind you, and will eventually destroy whatever faith you have in humanity, but hey, it's part of the job. I have to know not only what is actually going on in the sporting world, but what people are saying about it as well.
Yesterday and today, what people have been talking about is Larry Johnson. Pretty much every angle has been covered, with the most pressing question being, "Would you take him?" And I've heard something several times from callers into these shows that I just can't let go. On at least three separate occasions I can recall, I've heard callers refer to Johnson's use of various slurs as a free speech issue. One older gentleman, calling into Brian Kenny's show on ESPN Radio last night, asked no fewer than five times, "Whatever happened to free speech?"
Really?
"You want to put in a clause protecting professional athletes' right to call people fags on the internet? Mr. Madison, that seems awfully specific, and I don't understand several of the words in that sentence."
Let's face it, folks; it's tough being a St. Louis Rams fan these days. Sure, they took the Jacksonville Jaguars into overtime yesterday before losing, but the Jags aren't exactly the '85 Bears or anything. They're 0-6, the offense is just flat-out awful, the defense is routinely getting beaten up because they're on the field 40 minutes a game, and there really isn't a whole lot of hope on the horizon.
It's going to be a long, ugly season here in Rams country, make no mistake.
On the other hand, there is a disaster going on right now in the nation's capital that makes our own team look not only functional, but downright admirable. I speak, of course, of the Washington Redskins and their coaching dilemma.
Torry Holt did everything but cry when the Jags beat his Rams on Sunday
Finally: a real football game from the Rams. The offense moved the ball, the defense came up big (Leonard Little leaping into the end zone like superman? More of that please), and St. Louis was a coin flip away from its first win in 16 games.
The story of this match-up, though, was not a near end to the Rams ineptitude. No, it was Rams legend Torry Holt torching his former team for 101 receiving yards and loving every minute of it.
In the era of free agency it's not usually a big deal when a player matches up against his old squad. Unless, of course, that player happens to be a future Hall-of-Famer who played his entire career in one place before switching to another franchise. Then, when said player tries extra hard to stick it to his old team's front office (and maybe hurts the feelings of a few thousand fans along the way)...
As miserable as the past seven days have been in the St. Louis sporting world, local fans can take solace in the fact that it could be a hell of a lot worse.
Take Seattle and their unfathomably depressing 2008: the Mariners lost 101 games, the Seahawks went 4-12, the once-proud University of Washington (this writer's alma mater) football program didn't win a single game, and the Sonics -- the city's only franchise to win a championship (not counting the WNBA, of course) -- moved to Oklahoma.
Not even Cleveland suffers like that.
So yeah, Matt Holiday served up a stomach punch, Mizzou choked away its chance to win the Big 12 North, and the Rams continued to be the Rams. But St. Louis still has ten world series championships and Albert Pujols. The Blues look pretty decent. It may be raining a lot lately, but there's still a long way to go before Seattle feels sorry for you.
All that said, the Rams were in rare form yesterday against the Vikings. So much so that they deserve a comparison to the lowliest of Pacific Northwest sports entities: The Washington State Cougars.
Just four miserable weeks into the season, and what's left to say about the 2009 St. Louis Rams? They are the worst football team in the NFL, and perhaps one of the worst teams of all-time.
That about sums it up.
But while Post-Dispatch columnist Bryan Burwell makes a convincing argument that the penalty-plagued, heartless performance of tackle Alex Barron against the 49ers yesterday best symbolizes this disaster of a franchise, the Internet offers a much more fitting parallel.
Behold:
What does an adorable but feckless baby panda have to do with the Rams? A helluva lot, actually.
The Five Stories From Last Week You'll Need to Remember this Week.
Devaney, shortly after being informed of Schlereth's comments.
1) You Wouldn't Like Him When He's Angry -- ESPN commentator Mark Schlereth caused quite a stir here in St. Louis with his appearance last week on Mike and Mike in the Morning. Schlereth referred to the Rams' organization as, "in shambles", and the team as, "not competing." Billy Devaney, the Rams' General Manager, took offense at the implication his team wasn't playing playing hard and competing, and said as much on The Paris and Burwell Show on 101.1, the ESPN Radio affiliate which carries Mike and Mike.
"I'll be honest, I've got to take a deep breath, because that really pisses me off. When he says something like we're not competing, how the hell does he know? I guarantee you he hasn't watched one of our games. You can say we had a stinker in Seattle and we made a ton of mistakes. And that's fine. But to say we're not competing is totally asinine."
Schlereth apologized shortly after, claiming he meant the Rams aren't competitive, not that they weren't competing. Hopefully, Devaney's semantic victory over an ex-NFL player was some comfort to him when the Rams did their best on Sunday to prove themselves uncompetitive. Or incapable of competing. Or however you would like to phrase it.
I appreciate Devaney sticking up for his players. I really do. But let's face it: when your football team is as bad as this Rams team is, there are going to be some really nasty things said about them. Nonetheless, it's nice to see some fight from Rams Park.
It's the fantasy potential of the 2009 Rams offense.
After yet another sullen Sunday afternoon all but the most hardcore Rams fans have resigned themselves to the fact that 2009 is destined to be an epic failure almost on par with the 2008 disaster. After the latest morale-crushing defeat, this one at the hands of the Green Bay Packers, it's obvious that the players still make the same boneheaded mistakes, the quarterback (be it Marc Bulger or Kyle Boller) still fails to find open receivers or throw the ball away under pressure, and the head coach still hasn't found a way to overcome his talent-deficient roster.
But don't despair Rams fans, there is a teeny-tiny solitary speck of consolation to be had-- especially for those of you who are fantasy football-inclined.
The solace comes in the form of the Rams offense. Sorry, Steven Jackson owners, we don't mean that in a good way. The Rams are almost guaranteed to give up 10+ fantasy points to the opposing defense. For those not blessed to own one of the top fantasy defenses (Philly, New York Giants, and Denver) or dealing with a bye week, picking up the D of whichever team the Rams face is a winning strategy.
Take yesterday, the Packers entered the game ranked a respectable 79th overall with a total of 25 fantasy points scored. Thanks to early fumbles and an interception, they racked up 10 points a number that easily have been higher had they been able to put one of the Rams red zone turnovers into the end zone.
So not too long ago I previewed the most likely playoff teams in the National League, trying to assess how much of a threat each one might be to the Cardinals come October time. Well, in the interest of completeness, and to try and educate my readership as best I possibly can, today I'm going to take a look around the junior circuit and make a bold, can't-possibly-go-wrong prediction as to who I think will be the Cardinals' punching bag in the playoffs. (Hey, I'm feeling expansive today. Smacking the shit out of the Astros will do that to you. Just let me have my momentary optimism, okay?)
I'm not going to try and put these in order based on how good they are or anything like that, as by the time the Cardinals might see any of these teams it no longer really matters which one is the most dangerous, so let's just make like the Sun and move East to West, shall we?
Well, it's nice to see the Houston Astros are still a train wreck.
Earlier today, the Astros fired manager Cecil Cooper and named third base coach Dave Clark as the interim manager. It probably shouldn't come as a huge surprise to anyone Cooper got fired; after all, what manager wouldn't get canned after failing to take the collection of Hall of Fame talent the Astros' front office assembled this offseason to a title? I mean, seriously. The Astros are one of the best-run teams in all of baseball, and Cecil Cooper was obviously the albatross bringing that team down.
When former Rams head coach Scott Linehan made Donnie Avery the first wideout taken in the 2008 NFL draft -- ahead of the likes of DeSean Jackson, Eddie Royal, and Malcolm Kelly -- most everyone assumed it was just another addition to the lengthy list of Linehan blunders. Sure, the Rams needed to reload and replace aging legends Torry Holt and Isaac Bruce, but was a relative unknown out of the University of Houston who only made a name for himself after an impressive 4.2 40-yard dash time in the combine really the answer?
Surprisingly, halfway through the miserable 2008 season, it looked like Avery might in fact be the future. He was one of the lone bright spots -- briefly earning acclaim on this blog as a sleeper fantasy football acquisition for those desperate for a third option at receiver, and a reputation as a man who could cut a rug after he capped off touchdown catches by doing the robot.
You know, I like to think of myself as a pretty enlightened fellow. I really do. Certainly not the sort of neanderthal who would watch a women's tennis match simply because one (or both, come to think of it), of the contestants happened to be, um, rather attractive. No, I'm definitely not that guy. I watch women's tennis because I enjoy the sport. And only because I enjoy the sport.
So when I tell you I have a new favorite tennis player, and that she just happens to be a woman, you can rest assured I appreciate her only for her gifts on the court, and that neither her gender nor her physical appearance has made any sort of impression on me whatsoever.
My new favorite tennis player is Caroline Wozniacki, and she's a really good at playing tennis. And no matter what you might think, no, I do not have a crush on her.
I know I've mentioned before - numerous times, most likely - how much I hate no-trade clauses in baseball contracts. In particular, the no-trade clause in Kyle Lohse's contract has proven to be a source of major irritation to me, not because I don't think Lohse is a useful pitcher, but because I largely expect Lohse to be a fairly useful pitcher with a bad contract that would be hard to move in any circumstances, and damned near impossible when the player has the option of just saying, "Ummmm... nah."
You want an example of why no-trade clauses are such a bad idea in all but the rarest of situations? Well I'm happy to hear that, because we have one of the best examples you could ever ask for right now in New York - or maybe Boston, I'm not entirely sure - in Mr. Billy Wagner.
Yes, that's right, everyone. I'm going to rub some more salt in this old wound.
Back in 2007, when Rick Porcello was but a gleam in the eye of hyperventilating prospect geeks everywhere, the Cardinals had the chance to draft him. They were picking 18th overall in the draft that year, and lo and behold, the player almost every scouting publication had a lead pipe lock to be something special was sitting right there. So what did the Cardinals do?
They drafted Pete Kozma.
And guess what? Drafting Pete Kozma was, in the words of Gob Bluth, a huge mistake.
So you may have heard that the United States has never won a soccer match in Mexico. When the gringos visit Estadio Azteca (perhaps the most historic fútbol stadium in the world, not a chain restaurant) they are 0-18-1. Blame the crazy urine-chucking fans, blame the 7,000+ feet of elevation, blame the fact that all of America's best athletes play that other type of football -- whatever the culprit the Yanks haven't won nada south of the border.
I try not to get too very sanctimonious over much of anything in life. I don't consider myself a moral relativist, by any means, but I just don't believe things are very often defined sharply in black and white. We all do what we have to to get by in life, and all too often, that means compromising ourselves and our beliefs. You do the best you can, and hope at the end of the day you can still look yourself in the mirror.
However, I will tell you this: I'm having a very, very difficult time keeping an open mind currently on the subject of one Manny Ramirez. I wrote just recently about the booing he's received at Busch Stadium, and how maybe we should all take a closer look at why we're really booing him, but you know what? To hell with that.
I would be remiss if I didn't at least mention the reception of one Manfred Ramirez. (I wish his name really were Manfred. That would be awesome.) Manny was, of course, quite roundly booed every time up in last night's game between the Cardinals and Dodgers, and really, I don't think anyone expected anything less.
For your cultural and sporting edification, I am proud to present to you the first ever edition of Sporting Greats Theatre, presented to you without commercial interruption by a generous grant of both job and salary by the River Front Times. Visit the River Front Times for the best local coverage of politics, sports, and culture. The River Front Times: barely dodging respectability for over 130 years.
I'm going to level with all of you: I really don't like the Home Run Derby.
I know, I know. "Everybody loves the Home Run Derby," I can hear you saying. "Only some kind of pinko commie fruity boy doesn't like the Home Run Derby!"
You know, it's funny; I really love playing golf. Why is that funny, you ask? Because I also happen to despise the game of golf itself.
The U.S. Open is over, the champion has been crowned, and I have to say, I hated every second of it. All tournament long, the various commentators and talking heads complained just how unmemorable the whole thing was this year, and I have to agree with them. Almost.
How sad is it when Lou Piniella looks to be the sanest, calmest man in the Cubs' dugout these days? The same man who once terrorized umpires from Cincinnati to Seattle is now the rational, respectable, and -- dare I say it? -- jovial face of the Chicago franchise.
Props to Walkoff Walk for unearthing this goofy, dated Budweiser commercial from the '80s.
The old school faux-Royals/Cardinals uniforms, the stubby Bud bottles, the instantly recognizable shot of Busch Stadium, and the fact that the coach is probably winking at the ump because he just hocked in his drink -- it's lovable.
Expect a heartless InBev re-make sometime soon, with a soccer ref, an effeminate Ronaldo lookalike, a red card, and a Stella Artois.
You know him, you love him, but now it's time to start thinking of a nickname for him. Yes, we're referring to up-and-comin', goggles-sportin' Cardinals reliever Jason Motte.
The Cardinals have pretty high expectations for the latest addition to their bullpen, right-hander Blaine Boyer. Acquired earlier this week for outfielder Brian Barton in a trade with the Braves, Boyer has already been added to the big league roster and will be the team's 13th pitcher.
Of course Boyer's old team also had high hopes for the former third-round draft pick, but they didn't quite pan out. Boyer began the 2009 season by notching a 40.50 ERA in 1 1/3 innings pitched. That monster ERA, coupled with the fact that he allowed runs in eight of his final fifteen appearances (good for an ERA of 21.60) of last season, led to Atlanta sending him down to the minors and eventually trading him.
Here's the choice quote about Boyer from a release from the Braves' media department issued shortly after the trade:
The Braves saw the tremendous physical skills that will likely lead another club to claim Boyer off the waiver wire. But as time progressed, they became convinced that his mental shortcomings were going to prevent him living up to his potential in their organization.
Yes, you read that correctly-- the Cards traded a bona fide rocket scientist for a player with "mental shortcomings."
Boyer, meanwhile, called his recent poor performances part of "a funk" and is playing up the "change of scenery" angle as a chance for future success.
If all this sounds familiar, it's because it's almost déjá vu for the scenario the Cardinals played out with once-promising prospect Anthony Reyes.
The St. Louis SLAM, the city's all-female football team playing in the Women's Football Association, destroyed the Kansas City Storm in their first game of the season last night 77-0.
The victory already puts them halfway toward what has to be a team goal of outpacing the number of wins last season by that other football team from St. Louis.
And speaking of the Rams, I know they're supposedly keen on taking a college running back in this weekend's draft, but they might do well to take scrounge some bargain talent from the SLAM's roster. Judging from the stats from the first game, there's a lot to choose from:
The SLAM defense was led by veteran linebacker, Kelly Kozlen (11 tackles, fumble recovery), and defensive end Liz Williams (11 tackles, 1.5 sacks, forced fumble). Rookie defensive end, Tayona Smith, stepped up big in her first game with 10 tackles, 1 sack, a forced fumble, and a fumble recovery.
On the offensive end, quarterback Liz Lacy connected for TDs with veteran receivers Gail Graff and Katie Ode, as well as rookie WR Kate Evers. Evers scored her second TD of the game on a 54-yard run in the first quarter. The leading rusher for the SLAM in 2008, Pat Riggins, led the ground attack with 70 yards rushing on 5 carries and one TD.
With a name like that, Pat Riggins totally sounds like the Rams RB of the future. Seriously, who would notice that she's a she? Her hair can't be longer than Steven Jackson's.
It wasn't played by the Cardinals (you'll have to wait till Monday, when the Pirates come to town to see the Redbirds in action) but by the Mizzou and SLU. The Tigers trounced the Billikens 19-6.
If a confused spectator had wandered into the stands, there was zero chance of confusing this game for big league play. It was a sloppy, achingly slow-paced affair that included seven errors, thirteen walks, and six hit batsmen.
But despite their mediocre records (SLU is 14-13 after the loss and Mizzou 14-14) both teams have a few talented players that were worth seeing, including Mizzou centerfielder Ryan Lollis who has twice been taken in the 20th round of the MLB draft and Mizzou catcher Trevor Coleman, a second team all-Big 12 player and the Louisville Slugger freshman of the year in 2007.
Gary Sheffield is getting paid $14 million to just go away. Do you have any idea what sorts of things I would be willing to do for $14 million? It would certainly make turning tricks at the bus stop again a whole lot easier to stomach, I'll tell you that much.
Did cake-inspiration Tom Brady influence the NFL to make a rule change?
They added four more rules, and modified one other, and I have to say, the modification is the worst of the group.
All of the rule changes, of course, deal with the way that players can hit each other. Two are fairly innocuous, dealing with the way that kickoffs work. The kicking team can no longer bunch as many players in one part of the field, and the receiving team can no longer have more than two people join hands and run that blocking wedge thing. Eh. Those are both probably okay changes. At the very least, they aren't terrible.
The other two changes are a little bit more concerning...
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